Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Hot fashions for the fussy hussy?

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Hey Blog Guy, I have some fashion needs that you’ve never addressed. I’m a strumpet.

NEWYORK-FASHION/PROJECT RUNWAYYou mean the band instrument?

Not a trumpet you imbecile, a strumpet! You know, Jezebel? Floozy? Trollop?

Isn’t that a Coney Island law firm?

Gosh, you’re even thicker than I’ve heard, Blog Guy, and frankly that’s very hard to imagine.

Look, us tramps like to look nice when we go out, especially since we go out pretty often. Where should we be looking for the latest fashions? Paris? Milan?

No, you should go to New York. I was at Fashion Week yesterday, and it sounds like if  ”No reasonable offer refused” is the message you want to send, the designers can make it happen this year. Here are some of the outfits.

What the hell is my hand doing up here?

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universe pose 490

There it is again.

USA/The lady in the photo above is Jimena Navarrete, who was crowned Miss Universe just a couple of days ago. The one on the right is another contestant, Miss Brazil.

Both of them are doing this wacky glam pose that I guess somebody thought was sexy 100 years ago, and it just never went away.

The worst dress in the history of Earth?

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DAKAR-FASHION/

Blog Guy, I’m a very strict father with a parenting question. My daughter’s prom is next weekend, and…

Sorry to interrupt you, sir, but what kind of school has a prom in August?

DAKAR-FASHION/It’s a summer school prom. Anyway, you know how kids behave at those things, and I’m afraid the boys will be trying to get her to do you-know-what. So I’m looking to find a prom dress that will keep her absolutely safe.

Guitarist gets the blues, lots of them…

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Prepare to be dazzled. I think I can step in here to solve a puzzling medical mystery, just like that Dr. House guy on television.

playboy 3d 2 300We have a story saying this rock guitarist claims he got sick after taking too many Viagra tablets, and “could not see straight for days.”

A loophole in healthcare reform?

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INDIA

Blog Guy, I have a question about the new healthcare plan. See, I have a special girlfriend and I want to know if she’s covered. Louise is, you know, inflatable. Let’s say she got punctured. Yeah, let’s say that.

party doll crop 240Um, just flipping through the new law, I have to say I don’t believe Louise is covered.

Naked Noon in Saskatoon?

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It is dusk in the cabin. The door opens and a brawny lumberjack enters the bedroom, tossing his mighty ax in the corner.

CANADA/He gazes at a sultry young woman in the bed. She is clad only in flannel pajamas, woolen mittens and a hat with fur earflaps pulled down.

They’re like Charlie’s Angels, only nastier!

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MEXICO/

Okay sales staff, the big civil defense and security equipment exhibition is coming up, and we need to push our merchandise. Let’s brainstorm!

gun chicks vertical 260Boss, it’s me, Lonnie! What if we pass out glossy brochures about peaceful crowd control and stuff like that?

The naked stewardess time warp…

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flight attendants 490

Welcome back to a regular feature we like to call, “What Year is this Again?.”

There was a time, years ago, when airline flight attendants were called stewardesses, and they tended to be portrayed as flying cocktail waitresses.

Ten stupid things you shouldn’t do with cameras around

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A very famous person writes, “Bob, what can we celebrities do to improve our image? Please reduce your advice to 10 simple rules, because we have other stuff to do.”

nose pick bllock this 490

Well, celebs, thanks to my background in damage control and image consulting, I can tell you it doesn’t matter a bit what you do in private, but when there is somebody around with a camera:

I’m ready Lamar, go have that pork chop now!

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Warning, this is an adults-only scene. It’s evening in the boudoir, a woman is wearing a black satin nightie and red stiletto heels, there’s chilled champagne beside the bed…

“Are you as turned-on as I am, Lamar?” pork viagra combo 490

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“I sure am, Sweetheart!”

“Then go eat that ham sandwich and have your porky-porky way with me!”