Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Lots of guys have written in asking me how they should dress during a flu pandemic, if we have one.
Now, I’m pretty sure it isn’t even possible to kill guys that obnoxious, but I guess it’s smart of them to plan ahead.
To be honest, these masks may be a boon for you dudes with disgusting herpes or train-stopping bad breath. This could be your lucky day.
See, when I asked you to be my WINGMAN, that’s what I meant! I didn’t want you to show up bare-chested, with fricking WINGS on your back like an escapee from a cheesy Nativity scene at some male models’ Christmas party!
Blog Guy, I heard the Italians are pioneering new treatment for coma patients. Do you know about this?
Yes, I think you’re talking about the one where beautiful Italian women wearing next to nothing move sensuously around patients in a last-ditch attempt to awaken them.
Earlier this week I did an item about a hot new fashion trend, dresses that leave one you-know-what exposed, so a woman has to cover it with her hand. I pointed out many flaws in this design, like if you’re left-handed it’s hard to take notes in algebra class and stuff like that.
But some readers were like, “Bob, that’s just one dress, it’s not a trend, so shut up.”
I sent my Oddly Enough Consumer Team out to test this dress, and here are some of their comments:
It’s uncomfortable when you put ice cubes in a drink and then put your hand back
Hailing a taxi is tricky, but usually successful
Tough for left-handed chicks to dial their cellphone
It’s so awkward when Grandpa asks you to help move his sofa
On a date, much confusion over whether a guy made it to first or second base
Blog Guy, I was recently in Bolivia, at a little restaurant on the outskirts of La Paz, and I had a WONDERFUL soup called “caldo de cardan.” ! really felt great afterwards and it even cured my hangover!
Say no more. Brown stuff in white gravy?
That’s it! What’s that yum-yum stuff in it?
Boiled bull’s penis and testicles. You find it in restaurants located near slaughterhouses. Use Yahoo Yellow Pages to find the nearest shop where you can buy the ingredients.
New research has found that teens who skip breakfast as middle school students tend to have sex at an earlier age than those who start the day with a proper meal.
Exactly how some scientist even THOUGHT to look into this is way beyond me, and I’m not sure what to make of it.
1. Recycle their sake bottles
2. Wave to sumo wrestlers
3. Actually cook their fish
4. Have sex
Yeah, if you guessed having sex, you’re right, according to a study which found that a huge number of married couples over there have just stopped doing it.
There you have it. An actual conversation that proves men like red stuff on women. And yet, Reuters reports on a new study that spent $40 million to see if red was more of a turn-on for men than, say, dark brown.
That figure is just a rough guess, you understand, since I have no idea what it really cost.