Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Who’s your designer, babe? Eddie Bauer?

Photo

Note to fashion design staff: Every so often we need to remember that haute couture is about raw animal sexuality. It’s about a woman feeling desirable, about giving her the confidence to think, ”Hey, I’ll never look HOTTER than I do tonight!”

fashion-gumby-160.jpgTake the Pierre Cardin number shown here. When this woman shows up in this sizzling outfit,  jaws will drop and every man in the room will want to take her home.

“So, gorgeous! What’s YOUR name?”

“They call me Gumby, big boy!”

“Well, Gumby, do you know how turned on I get when I see a chick in a blue sleeping bag with slits for her face and arms?”

“Yeah, you and every OTHER dude! Get in line! **

**  A simulated conversation not based on real events.

Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

fashion-gumby-300.jpgA model presents a creation by French designer Pierre Cardin as part of his 2009 spring/summer and autumn/winter ready-to-wear fashion collection in Theoule-sur-Mer, southern France, October 6, 2008. REUTERS/Eric Gaillard

He ain’t heavy, he’s my brothel…

Photo

revilla-head-140.jpgAs we wind down the longest election campaign in the history of Earth by dissecting the nuances of words like lipstick and pig, it seems a good time to check out attitudes in other countries.

Take Miguel Angel Revilla, this politician in Spain, who’s taking some criticism because he just said in an interview that his first sex was in a brothel. Actually, he said it much more colorfully than that, but I can’t really repeat it here if I want to come back tomorrow.

This has been a public service topless parade…

Photo

It’s time again for the Boobs on Bikes parade down in New Zealand, where porn stars exercise their right to ride topless on motorcycles in public. Last year, 80,000 people showed up to watch. I think that is the entire male population, but don’t hold me to that.

auckland-boobs.jpg

We have a video report on today’s parade, in which a woman watching the event tells us, “People need porn, some people can’t get it at home.”

Make way for the cheater, eBay for the cheater!

Photo

Quick quiz: You find graphic evidence that your husband has been unfaithful. You…

a) toss his cheating butt out on the street with the evidence close behind

b) hand the evidence over to your lawyer and take hubby to the cleaners

c) put the evidence up for sale on eBay

ebay-page-300.jpgPay attention, folks! If it’s humiliating, tawdry or tacky, you can make money out of it, which is what a wife is doing with the lacy black panties and condom wrapper she found in her bed.

Forget it Blog Guy, it’s Chinatown

Photo

chinatown-still-140.jpgReaders of this blog know I worry a lot about a recent tendency to do unnecessary remakes of great movies. I just don’t see why we need a new version of  The Great EscapeThe Birds and other true classics.  

So here we go again, with a cheesy remake of the iconic Chinatown. Below is a studio still photo from the remake, showing the memorable scene of private eye Jake Gittes with his nose freshly slit open by a knife. 

It’s like the Cartwrights, only different!

Photo

hef-1-180.jpgOkay Hef, we get it. You can always scrounge up these three chicks to bring to big events, like this Hollywood thing yesterday.

Indeed, as you can see from the combo shot below going back three years, it’s the same smiles, just different dresses. They show up everywhere, sort of like on Bonanza if Pa Cartwright had daughters instead of sons. When I see these photos, I always have the same questions:

This is fun, you must confess!

Photo

Okay, here’s one that even Dante didn’t think of. It seems this couple in Italy had sex in a church confessional box, and that’s not even the worst part.

Did I mention that morning Mass was being said at the time?

Yes sir, yes ma’am, I believe the express train to Hell does stop right outside the cathedral here. It should be along any minute now… Can I get you some ice water?

The most protected folks on Earth

Photo

It’s winter in Antarctica, and the residents are ready for months of total darkness. Quick quiz: among their last supply shipments were…

    the new HBO John Adams series on DVD books and movies about early Antarctic exploration 20 sets of Trivial Pursuit 16,500 condoms

Yeah, it’s the condoms. There are only about 125 people there now, so the math suggests total debauchery. But the supply is supposed to last all year, even after the sun rises again on August 20. The manager of the base station says condoms are given free to staff. Everyone knows everyone, so it’s embarrassing to go buy them. Maybe even more embarrassing to be the only guy who doesn’t ask for some….

Are you crazy? Are you blind?

Photo

snl-120.jpg“Another gherkin for me, please…” Excuse me, I’m just practicing phrases to use in Vienna for Euro 2008, thanks to a guide for visitors who wish to try the local dialect.

Our story says the guide helps with ordering Austrian cuisine, flirting with local women, and other tourist situations. I hope the gherkin line is under food rather than flirting, because not all chicks would consider it a turn-on.

Who says the 1950s are over?

Photo

playmate-120.jpgPlayboy founder Hugh Hefner, overcome with emotion, pockets a coveted Anachronism Award given to him at a Playboy Mansion party honoring Playboy’s new Playmate of the Year.

Yes, they really still have one of those, and we moved TWENTY photos of the event, including some showing the winner leaning against her prize, a shiny new red Cadillac. Yes, they still have those, too.