Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Crack me another walnut, honey pie!
Blog Guy, I have a fashion problem. Lots of times on a date a guy will offer me a walnut, but I never know how I’m supposed to crack it.
You came to the right place. Check out these designer shoes, made to meet all of a chick’s nutcracking needs. One good stomp, and you’ll be scarfing down tasty walnut bits for hours.
Plus they can do pecans, Brazil nuts, coconuts…
Awesome! My other problem is, I don’t know what to do with the walnut shells. Like if we’re in a hotel room it’s rude to just leave them on the floor, isn’t it?
Nursery rhymes for trendy times…
Little Bo peep has lost her sheep And hopes that they haven’t got ill If they are found, please send them down, To Fashion Week in Brazil
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Jack Sprat could eat no fat, His wife could eat no lean, They had a daughter with an eating disorder, Who modeled in a magazine
Tim, you are getting rather kinky here… I’d rather not know what comes next.
And, CrowGirl, I am with you on this. I’ve had to wear two pairs of shoes for a few weeks now: one to walk outside and another one in the office. So, I guess really sexy snow boots could also be a good topic for a post? I mean, that’s as steamy as we are getting with this cold front!
Human evolution, the sexy way
Blog Guy, I have a question about the whole Darwinism/creationism debate, and I know you are educated in both science and theology.
My problem is, I think both of those theories are kind of gross. I mean, amphibians, apes, men’s ribs, neanderthals crawling out of slime…
So where on earth did really attractive people come from? You think models like Gisele Bundchen evolved from a frickin’ chimpanzee?
Hey agnostic guy – you wrote “God made Adam & Eve, they were the only people on earth. They had two boys, Cain & Abel. Who was the mother of Cain & Abel’s children?”
Obviously Eve got banged by all 3 of her men. Thus the Bible proves that incest is a good thing, & also proves that Oedipus was right about his Mother after all.
For a well-heeled damsel on a knight out…
Blog Guy, my friends and I dress up like knights in medieval costumes. Armor, swords, lances. We re-enact battles and stuff.
So what?
The thing is, our wives want to recreate the way the ladies looked, but we don’t know what they wore.
They wore dresses, stupid! You never heard the expression, “a damsel in dis dress?”
Isnt Francis supposed to be a girl’s name?
Or maybe Francis was not a “bright” girl.. hence dave’s comment, “lighten up” !!
Gals, time to get your nails done!
Okay fashion show staff, you’re all aware of our problem.
Our designer shoes are so uncomfortable, our models won’t wear them. As you can see here, they just take them off in the middle of the runway!
We’ve had lots of falls recently, and now, God forbid, people have started debating whether women have the right to wear “comfortable” shoes to work. This could be the end of us.
Herb, I liked your idea of filling the shoes with airplane glue, but unfortunately people in the front row can smell it, and we can’t have fashion editors getting stoned.
Oh DUH! I never would have guessed the control panel for a model is located on the bottom of the foot!
Them flip-flops ain’t makin’ it, honey!
Over there in Britain, some unions have set off a heated debate by demanding that women have the right to wear comfortable shoes in the workplace.
Guys, in case you’re total morons, “comfortable” is a code word for ugly.
My first reaction to this was fine, there’s no job where a woman really needs to wear stiletto heels, but after doing some research in our photo archive, I found quite a few.
It turns out you need high heels for farming, riding a motorcycle, running for vice-president and working in a car wash, just to name a few, and that’s not even to mention how much you need them if your job is being Jennifer Aniston.
Mmmm. Delia I happen to love seeing women in heels. If you are right then women need to get heels that fit and then their feet wouldn’t hurt. What size do you wear Delia?
Grande fashion: better latte than never!
You’ve probably noticed that along with coffee, your local Starbucks is now selling CDs, books, medical equipment and automotive parts.
What does this retail giant have in store for us next? Well, Bucks just unveiled its new line of women’s clothes at Milan Fashion Week. Soon, chicks will be able to wardrobe-up from head to toe while ordering their caffeine fix.
Now I guess the same clown that messes up your coffee order will sell you shoes, dresses, etc., all carefully designed to look good while holding a cardboard cup holder. Warning: if you want a small dress, you need to ask for a “large.”
Ok, what’s with all the hang-over shades, messy hair, thrown together clothes that say “I don’t care what I look like, I just really need my starbucks fix RIGHT NOW!!” If I want it to look like all my clothes came from a thrift store, I’ll go to a thrift store, not starbucks.
Our pratfall fashion collection!
Confidential memo to fashion show staff:
It’s no secret that Fashion Week has gotten too tame. There’s no surprise or drama anymore.
We aim to change that, starting now. You all have your assignments.
From hightops to flipflops in seconds!
Has this ever happened to you?
You’re walking along in your high-top running shoes heading for the basketball court, when suddenly there’s a BEACH!
The tide is coming in. You’re going to have totally soaked footwear for the game, unless you’re wearing MODULAR SHOES!
Put on your Sofas, honey, we’re steppin’ out!
Okay, design staff, we’ve got a huge honking problem with the fashion show! Our market research shows everybody thinks our new shoes suck!
This stuns me. You take our quilted red shoe, called “Sofa.” It turns out women aren’t so eager to be associated with a large overstuffed piece of furniture.
The same is true of our new “Gun” shoe and our “Tsing Ma Bridge” shoe. Who would have thought firearms and long suspension bridges would be a fashion turn-off?
Well, if there’s only one shoe available, then they will each need a skateboard to go with it. The skateboard will even be cheaper than the shoe! Everybody wins!
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Oh. THAT’s how you’re meant to crack a walnut on a date…