Recently, I ranted here about the sad state of today’s political protesters.

And now, more evidence that protest isn’t what it used to be. Note this caption informing us that these protesters are throwing “cobblestones, Molotov cocktails and shoes” at riot police.

Shoes? Sure enough, the street is littered with footwear. So, let’s see. We have cobblestone streets, which are hard to walk on, we have broken glass and flames from the Molotovs, and protesters creeping over that stuff BAREFOOT because they hurled their Pumas!

Gosh, I can’t imagine how the cops are going to identify the culprits. “ATTENTION! Will every foot surgeon in Budapest please report to Hungarian General Hospital? Take your time.”

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Far-right anti-government protesters throw cobblestones, Molotov cocktails and shoes at Hungarian riot police in Budapest, on September 20, 2008. REUTERS/Karoly Arvai

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Blog Guy, a couple of days ago you showed pictures of Sarah Palin’s shoes, and said that was an important part of covering prominent women. That was just a joke, right?

Uh, sure, if you want it to be. On the other hand, this photo here shows Sarah Palin’s shoes at a campaign appearance in Colorado yesterday, and below you can see three different pairs of former candidate Hillary Clinton’s shoes from her campaign for the nomination.

But these women were making history!

You bet, and someday one of those pairs of shoes just might be on our dollar bills! Gives you goosebumps, doesn’t it?

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above: Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin shoes are seen as she speaks in Golden, Colorado September 15, 2008. REUTERS/Rick Wilking

below: Hillary Clinton’s shoes, REUTERS Photos by Eric Thayer and Brian Snyder.

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Blog Guy, I’ve seen some recent pictures of Sarah Palin’s shoes. My impression is that readers are very interested in the shoes of important women. Do you agree?

You’re so right! When people hear about a woman in a prominent position, the first thing they always ask is, ”What about her shoes?”

Shoe coverage is an important sub-specialty in journalism. For example, France’s first lady, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy. As you can see in this photo combo, we cover her shoes nearly as comprehensively as the rest of her.  

So, you mean you have photographers who specialize in shooting women’s shoes at a news event?

Of course. That’s their sole purpose, so to speak. 

And they work alone?

No, usually they team up with our handbag photographers.

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above: The shoes of Republican presidential candidate Senator John McCain and his vice presidential running mate Sarah Palin as they stand at an event in Dayton, Ohio August 29, 2008. REUTERS/John Gress

below: REUTERS photos of Carla Bruni-Sarkozy by Stephen Hird, Darren Staples, Benoit Tessier, Yannis Behrakis

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I know everybody is influenced by everybody else in the fashion industry, but… Our photo caption on this Fashion Week shot from Milan calls this a Versace “creation.”

Pardon me? I believe this form of footwear has been around since folks were numbering their years with BC instead of AD. Sandals were not  created for some Milan fashion show.

So despite countless ancient marble statues showing Greeks and Romans wearing leather flip-flops,  we’re supposed to think some Versace designer just woke up one recent morning and said, “Whoa! I’ve got SUCH an idea for shoes! Leather soles and straps! It’s so much better than loafers or pumps!”

Oh sure. And this is 2008 BC and I’m off to kill some big dude with my slingshot.

Designer Donatella Versace in April, 2008. REUTERS/Mike Theiler

A model displays a creation as part of Versace Spring/ Summer 2009 men’s collection during Milan Fashion Week June 21, 2008. REUTERS/Alessandro Garofalo

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You seem to have close connections to the fashion world, Blog Boy, so I’ll be blunt. I’m a Smurf, and as far as short, troll-like blue creatures are concerned, haute couture ain’t makin’ it!

Do they think we can’t AFFORD designer clothes? Because let me tell you, some of us have wads of money, what with royalties on toys, television residuals, endorsements and what not!

What does a blogger pull down, anyway? I could probably buy and sell you in a heartbeat. I’ve complained until I’m blue in the face - so to speak - so you tell your designer friends to start thinking of us before it’s too late.

Smurfette

Yikes, I had no idea you all could be that obnoxious, since I only hear from you once in a blue moon, so to speak. Anyway, have a look at these shoes from a recent major fashion show. I’m sure if they’re successful there will be a lot more Smurf products. A blue million, so to speak.

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A pair of shoes are seen on the ground before Alexandre Herchcovitch’s 2008/2009 fall collection fashion show at New York Fashion Week February 2, 2008. REUTERS/Carlo Allegri

Are your feet so stinky you can empty a room just by taking your shoes off? This is a problem in Japan, where it’s common to remove shoes in homes and restaurants.

Now, they’ve come up with mint-scented  inserts that pump out a menthol fresh  burst every step you take, so you needn’t do anything radical, like wash your feet occasionally.

There are cheaper solutions than these $28 inserts, of course. You can Scotch Tape menthol cigarettes to each foot, or slather Vicks VapoRub in your shoes before going out, or conveniently ”spill” some of your mint julep on your feet at the bar.

“Say, Becky, those are real nice shoes you’re wearing, but what’s that cloud of blue  vapor that seems to follow you around?”  Toshi Maeda reports:

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Just yesterday, we had a look at an impractical pair of high-fashion boots - see Something drastic in plastic. Now, the designers at Milan’s fashion week have given us a pair of shoes that make those boots look positively utilitarian.

Take a look at these puppies. Elaborate simulations in our test lab found that it takes about 42 minutes to put them on and lace them up, so if you want to wear them down to breakfast, I hope you like your Jimmy Dean Biscuit Sandwiches cold. I guess you could just put one of them on and hop to breakfast, but mixing your Tang standing on one leg isn’t easy. And let’s say you have a bad case of athlete’s foot, and you really itch. Do you want miles of laces between you and some relief?

These shoes feature two kinds of laces, assorted eyelets and grommets, four sailor’s knots, and a thick instruction manual which this fashion model is carrying in a matching leatherette case. Wouldn’t you rather just buy a pair of Crocs?

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A model wears a creation as part of Alessandro Dell’Acqua’s Spring/Summer 2008 women’s collection during Milan Fashion Week in Milan September 24, 2007. REUTERS/Alessandro Garofalo

We have a video report that raises sort of a theological question. Who has done more good for mankind - the person who produced shoes festooned with precious gems to sell for $134,000 a pair, or the one who thought of guarding those shoes with a live cobra?

Yeah, it’s close, but I’m inclined to say the latter. The notion of a lethal deterrent has many handy home applications, especially in the area of dieting. I’ve now set scorpions loose in our potato chip drawer, put black widow spiders in our jar of Junior Mints, and let leeches run wild in the four places where we keep our jelly doughnuts. I also tried putting venomous snakes in with my Ben & Jerry’s, but they don’t seem too intimidating after a night in the freezer.

I’m off now to stuff wolverines into my nine-year-old Volvo wagon, to thwart thieves specializing in classic cars. Cindy Martin reports:

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