Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Can I pull the plug during a shutdown?

Photo

COLOMBIA/

Blog Guy, this federal government shutdown has me really worried. I had hoped to get rid of my do-nothing son-in-law, but I wonder if those Government Death Panels will be answering their phones.

Not to worry. Essential services like the military, airport security and Death Panels will continue to operate.

CHINA-FASHION/Death Panels are considered essential services?

You bet. We can’t have people living longer than they’re supposed to, can we?

No, I guess not, but how will they get paid?

That’s not a problem. The Death Panels work largely on tips.

We’re supposed to TIP them? How much?

If the service was good, 18 percent is considered nice. Give them less if they leave a huge mess.