Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Think she’ll notice if we take her purse?

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Lamar, where did you get the models for today’s fashion show?

From my psychiatrist. They’re all in therapy for various things, so they’re happy to have the work.

Therapy? Is it safe to have them here?

Oh sure, Boss, most of the ones with violent tendencies turned down the gig. My shrink says one of these chicks is being treated for narcolepsy.

You mean the excessive urge to sleep at inappropriate times, such as while at work, huh? I bet I can spot that one.

Lamar, the rest of the models aren’t even stopping to help her.

Yeah, those would be the members of Doc’s therapy group for the totally self-absorbed. He says they’re not making much progress…

You snooze, you lose? Not this time…

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Blog Guy, what would you say is your best sport, personally? Rock climbing, Ironman? Fight Club?

I’d have to say extreme napping.

Napping. You mean like just closing your eyes and sleeping?

It’s so much more than that. Oh, any idiot can just flop into bed at noon and call it a nap, but the competitors are always finding new places, mapping new napping.

Let the nightmares begin…

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MEXICO/

Blog Guy, we need some of your parenting advice. We’re having problems with our small daughter.

MEXICO/I’m sorry to hear that. What’s the trouble?

She’s way too normal. Totally well-adjusted, happy, never cries or has nightmares. What can we do?

Come over to my yard for a fling?

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FOOD-SUMMIT/

Man, I love it when true stuff is stranger than anything I could make up for my blog. I mean, it’s like having a day off.

So I’m looking at an e-mail from the Pottery Barn folks, and down below the duvet covers and patchwork quilts I see something called Safety Recall Information. It informs me the chain is recalling a hammock stand.

Fashion models, hither and yawn…

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fashion yawn combo 490

Quick quiz: The bewildered and confused young women seen here…

FASHION/LUCALUCAa) just can’t understand why they had to get up at noon on a Friday.

b) have just been asked if World War I was fought before or after World War II.

c) have been told they’ve won a dinner date with somebody named Lamar, and they are wary.

d) are actually fashion models, getting “instructions” about the complicated process of walking down a runway, turning around and walking back.

A most alarming little gadget…

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rocket launchers 490

Blog Guy, I’m a high school student doing a report, and I need your help.

Oh sure, I’m always eager to help with homework assignments. Do you want it single-spaced or double-spaced? You want me to misspell some words to make it look real?

RPG alarm crop 260My report is called “Alarm Clocks Around the World,” and I was hoping you could share the most interesting alarm you know about.