Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Think she’ll notice if we take her purse?
Lamar, where did you get the models for today’s fashion show?
From my psychiatrist. They’re all in therapy for various things, so they’re happy to have the work.
Therapy? Is it safe to have them here?
Oh sure, Boss, most of the ones with violent tendencies turned down the gig. My shrink says one of these chicks is being treated for narcolepsy.
You mean the excessive urge to sleep at inappropriate times, such as while at work, huh? I bet I can spot that one.
Lamar, the rest of the models aren’t even stopping to help her.
You snooze, you lose? Not this time…
Blog Guy, what would you say is your best sport, personally? Rock climbing, Ironman? Fight Club?
I’d have to say extreme napping.
Napping. You mean like just closing your eyes and sleeping?
It’s so much more than that. Oh, any idiot can just flop into bed at noon and call it a nap, but the competitors are always finding new places, mapping new napping.
Look at these pros in the photos. The guy napping under an armored vehicle, people snoozing on horseback, a bride asleep at her wedding.
wapeddove, you remind me of a band name I once thought of; “Wired in a Weird Way”.
Let the nightmares begin…
Blog Guy, we need some of your parenting advice. We’re having problems with our small daughter.
I’m sorry to hear that. What’s the trouble?
She’s way too normal. Totally well-adjusted, happy, never cries or has nightmares. What can we do?
Ouch. That’s a tough one, but my advice would be to take her to an international tattoo expo and let the whole freak show get all up in her face.
Then, that night, drop hints that some of those folks are probably hiding in her bedroom closet and plan to carry her away to their cave and eat her up.
Do you think that will work?
I’ll be the one getting a first tattoo at 81. By then, I should be able to persuade myself within a day or two that I got it when I was 18.
Come over to my yard for a fling?
Man, I love it when true stuff is stranger than anything I could make up for my blog. I mean, it’s like having a day off.
So I’m looking at an e-mail from the Pottery Barn folks, and down below the duvet covers and patchwork quilts I see something called Safety Recall Information. It informs me the chain is recalling a hammock stand.
This concerns me because of course I spend most of my days in a hammock, swaying back and forth in the sunshine and writing my blog.
It turns out, the wood used in the stand may break, “if left outdoors.”
I suppose that’s a relief for you who only use your hammocks in your living room, but for us yard people, it’s a disaster.
Anybody who has ever watched Looney Toons knows exactly what happens when one end of a tightly-stretched hammock snaps suddenly.
I don’t understand, Spin. Can’t the potential customer just call a Death Panel, like this person?
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/04/08/can-i-pull-the-plug-during-a-sh utdown/
Fashion models, hither and yawn…
Quick quiz: The bewildered and confused young women seen here…
a) just can’t understand why they had to get up at noon on a Friday.
b) have just been asked if World War I was fought before or after World War II.
c) have been told they’ve won a dinner date with somebody named Lamar, and they are wary.
d) are actually fashion models, getting “instructions” about the complicated process of walking down a runway, turning around and walking back.
Surprisingly, the answer is d). They really are real models, and they really are getting those “instructions.”
Now, by grenade accessories, I gather you mean grenade belts and grenade purses and grenade earrings?
A most alarming little gadget…
Blog Guy, I’m a high school student doing a report, and I need your help.
Oh sure, I’m always eager to help with homework assignments. Do you want it single-spaced or double-spaced? You want me to misspell some words to make it look real?
My report is called “Alarm Clocks Around the World,” and I was hoping you could share the most interesting alarm you know about.
That would have to be a Cambodian clock that is marketed as the “Short Fuse, No Snooze.”
This ingenious device, shown here, connects a normal clock to a series of rocket propelled grenades which go off one at a time starting 30 seconds after the first alarm.
That’s an interesting idea, but I don’t think it would work on me. I’m a very heavy sleeper.
Hickory dickory dock
Three mice ran up a clock
The clock struck one
The other two escaped with minor injuries.
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Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
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I have THE eye, Mr.Pilot.