Oddly Enough Blog

The key to a great Valentine?

February 14, 2011

locks shoes 490

Blog Guy, I really need your help with a relationship problem. I’m pretty sure my girlfriend is stepping out on me.

A great year to be a dumbass!

December 27, 2010

PAKISTAN/

As you may have noticed, 2010 was quite a year for dumbasses.

It seems like they were everywhere. Celebrities, sports figures, politicians, and just regular dumbasses as well, the kind who might live next door to you.

How Blog Guy made the Naughty List

December 21, 2010

USA/

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

night before smoke 220The stockings were waiting, but what do you think?

Santa decided to go for a drink!

“My life really sucks!” he told bartender Steve,

“It seems like I’m working on EACH Christmas Eve!

“My marriage is finished, my wife says I’m weird,

“She don’t understand me, she don’t like my beard!

“I think I’ll try freedom, I’ll give it a whirl!

“Perhaps I’ll end up with a cheerleader girl!

USA/“I’m totally serious! It isn’t a joke!

“I’ll tell you the best part, but I need a smoke!”

Then Santa went outside, now Dasher, now Dancer,

Too hammered to read the big warning of cancer,

The stump of his pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath

His cheeks were like roses, his eyes all a-twinkle,

He lurched to the men’s room, and stopped for a tinkle

GERMANY/As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,

He demanded another martini, dry

Then I heard him exclaim with his mouth like a potty,

“That fricking Blog Guy has been TERRIBLY naughty!

“I swear by my reindeer and each little hoofy,

“He’s been running photos of me that are goofy!

“I know who’s been good, and I know who has not,

“And on Christmas, that Blog Guy is opening squat!”

night before cheer 490

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Top: Participants in SantaCon Boston 2010, a gathering of people dressed as Santa going from bar to bar, drink at the Asgard Pub in Cambridge, Massachusetts, December 18, 2010. REUTERS/Brian Snyder

Why I never leave home…

November 6, 2010

melbourne cup 490

Blog Guy, don’t make any plans for tomorrow. I have tickets for us to go see…

Basket o’ Death claims another victim?

November 5, 2010

Blog Guy, what’s the most common method of suicide in this country?

It varies according to sex. Women most often poison themselves, and men tend to watch several episodes of  “Glee,” back-to-back.

Puff faster, I need to change your diaper

May 31, 2010

Blog Guy, it’s Memorial Day! Isn’t that when you announce your coveted “Why Isn’t This Person in Jail Award?”

Get your butt off the red carpet!

May 21, 2010

FILM-CANNES/

Blog Guy, please keep up the coverage of that Cannes Film Festival. We love it. I notice you have lots of red carpet shots, and I’m wondering what that particular spot signifies for the celebrities who are there.

This model walks into a bar, see…

March 9, 2010

fashion vodka 490

Lamar, those fashion models are getting uppity. Oh, they’re so full of themselves, with their beauty and glamour, we need to take ‘em down a notch.

Guess they’re SERIOUS about no-smoking here!

January 5, 2010

Kelli, it’s me. Bob. Yeah, we’re still on that vacation you booked for us, but listen, we have a question.