Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

If it’s September, this must be Oktoberfest!

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oktoberfest-2-0921-160.jpgBlog Guy, I saw a picture today from Oktoberfest in Germany. But it’s only September!

I believe it’s already October in Germany, because of the different time zones. So yes, they’ve started Oktoberfest, their world-famous festival of drinking, smoking and cleavage.

Sheesh, I guess the entire region must grind to a halt while they’re doing all that drinking and partying, right?

No, actually they’re also having elections. It must be strange to wake up all hung-over after election day, see all the empty mugs and ashtrays, and then scream, “WE VOTED FOR WHO?”

Just pull the trigger – aiming is overrated!

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militant-nigeria-crop-160.jpgTop Secret Memo: For 4,000 years, armies have worked to look fierce and frightening, for that extra psychological edge over the enemy in combat. The Spartans, the Vikings, the Goths…

After years of studying intimidation, we are ready to unveil our soldier of the future.

But you’re totally blue, Liu!

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tattoo-2-180.jpgDaddy, your little girl has big news! I’ve met Mr. Right, and after a whirlwind romance, we got married!

Ming is already in show business, sort of, but he plans to be either a TV news anchor or maybe a dermatologist. 

Now, smoking onstage for your entertainment!

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smoking-2-160.jpgIt may just be a cultural nuance, but our actual caption says this guy is performing at a festival in Sweden.

That seems an odd verb to use, because to me it just looks like he’s lighting a cigarette. That isn’t much of a performance. You can see that outside any office building.

Doberman Gang, move over!

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dortmund-bulldog-1-160.jpgBlog Guy, I know you’ve written about those crazy German highways with no speed limits. I recently heard that they even let dogs drive. My friend saw one smoking a big cigar and driving 140 miles an hour!

Sounds like he saw the Stogie Doggies of Dortmund, among the worst of the dog gangs.

Is this a runway, or Tobacco Road?

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smoke-mouth-160.jpgHaute couture is my life, but I must admit I’m baffled at times.

For instance, the photo caption calls this “a creation,” but to me, it just looks like some chick having a butt. Is smoking a cigarette with black gloves and red lipstick the creative part, or what?

Was this lady supposed to stop and light up on the runway, because I have to say that will make fashion shows pretty tedious. Perhaps the designer should have looked for a slightly less addicted model?

Life on Mars, but not intelligent life…

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mars-300.jpgMaybe you’ve seen this NASA shot from Mars, which has turned the blogosphere into a cosmic Where’s Waldo?

Many readers have asked for my take on this. Look, it’s very cold on Mars, or at least I think it is without really looking it up. So this guy, cold and alone, proves one thing to me: Some Martians are still smokers.

Look! A puppet show about smoking!

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This is a photo of a restaurant owner in Germany who cut holes in his wall so patrons can stay indoors, but stick their head and arms outside to smoke. I see flaws.

Say you take a date. She has to act like she’s not connected to this headless, armless doofus bent over against the wall? Or if she does want to talk, she has to stand by your butt and shout like a nut job, or go out in the cold to face you, which makes you look like a pig. Honestly, there’s no dignity. You’re exposed to anyone who wants to a) steal your wallet or b) dangle sauerkraut from your nose and take your menthols.

You can forget an evening by the fireplace

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I just can’t wait to unwrap my birthday present! Oh. That wrapping paper is my present?

A fashion exhibit in Athens reminds us that there were times we wore clothes made from paper, and sometimes it was even considered stylish.

Dude! How could you forget to check the law! Oh…right…

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Some guys in Amsterdam had planned to roll and smoke the world’s largest joint, but they cancelled at the last minute because they realized they might be breaking the law.

See, they had thought it would be legal to smoke a five-foot-long joint containing more than a pound of marijuana, if each person just brought a tiny amount and they put it all together, but that turned out not to be the case.