Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, I hate to bother you, but I need your help with something.
See, I maintain an extensive world map with color-coded pins showing everywhere Paris Hilton has been in the last 10 years, you know, day by day.
Really? Then I don’t think I can give you the kind of help it sounds like you need.
So anyway, due to some unfortunate binge drinking-related blackouts, I seem to be missing a few key dates. For instance, August 8, 2004.
Blog Guy, it’s me, the guy you got hooked on photos of that duchess…
I need fresh pictures, but the last time I asked, you gave me a duchess made of butter and a chick with gross fingernails. So this time, I’ll be clearer.
No names, please.
Okay, um, she’s a duchess, she got married recently and she’s a member of a royal family… Is that enough for you to go on?
Blog Guy, your career advice is very useful, especially your tips on possible indicators that we may have taken the wrong career path at some point. Thanks to your last one, my brother got out of the bee-wearing profession.
Blog Guy, can you please help settle a bet with my haberdasher’s manicurist?
Again with the bets and the random occupations? What’s this one about?
Blog Guy, every year at Easter time I see lots of photos of “penitents” from different places, which I gather has to do with repenting for sins and stuff like that. I was hoping you could elaborate a bit for your readers.
Not without doing actual research, which takes too much effort.
But I was hoping you could just make up stuff, as usual.
Okay. It appears some penitents have to wear hooded outfits which are VERY unfortunate in design, if you catch my meaning.
Blog Guy, my favorite actor is Antonio Banderas. He is SO dreamy! I love him! Can you please, please run a photo of him in your blog for all his fans?
Sure, my pleasure. Here he is in Málaga, Spain, a couple of days ago for Holy Week. Enjoy.
What’s up, Blog Guy? You look concerned about something.
I am. I just saw these photos of two panda cubs born in Spain.
They’re adorable! What’s wrong with that?
Did you miss the part where I said they are in SPAIN, the place where poor creatures are slowly tortured to death before slobbering, bloodthirsty crowds?
Okay, the folks in these pictures are coverd in talcum powder from a traditional Powder Day festival in their Spanish village.
The caption tells us that festival participants “hurl talcum powder at each other until they are completely covered with it,” and that in the past, “young men used this game to seduce girls.”
Blog Guy, in the past you’ve criticized Spain for things like bullfighting, the running of the bulls in Pamplona, and that thing where they ride horses through fire. Don’t they have any normal traditions?
Sure. Just a couple of days ago we covered carnival celebrations up in the Basque region, and I’ve been looking at our photos of that.
Blog Guy, can you please settle a bet with my pedicurist’s pest control guy?
Sure. I’m just here to settle bets. What’s up?
It’s about bullfighting, and I know you wrote the book on that. The cockroach man says bullfighters tend to be short, like jockeys, but I think they’re much taller. Who’s right?