Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
It’s your turn to go “quack-quack,” Jim
Blog Guy, you don’t seem to be too fond of hunting. I guess that’s just because you love animals?
Look, I’d really, really like it to be just because of my feelings about animals, and my opposition to cruelty and suffering and stuff like that…
But?
But just LOOK at these people! In all honesty, even if they didn’t have any bullets, and they were there to FEED the ducks, I’d STILL make fun of them for looking like total doofuses.
Grown men sitting out there on hard rocks, wearing camouflage, making “quack-quack” noises to trick unarmed ducks into flying within range? Have they ever taken a look at themselves, because it isn’t pretty.
Try to remember the best of September
The figures are in for this blog’s most popular posts in September, and readers showed a wide variety of interests. They flocked to our pieces on rugby, especially the nude variety, and were eager to learn about flying machines and submarines you can build at home.
Throw in some arts, politics and entertainment, and you’ve got a well-rounded month for folks who no longer need constant supervision.
Thanks for coming back, readers.
Here you go, your top 10 for the month. Now go out in the yard and build those planes and submarines!
Oh, no, that’s just a home-made leash so my fiancee knows where I am all the time. We call it the Trustinator.
So it’s the nudes vs. the dorks?
Blog Guy, I’m looking to join a rugby team. I saw your item about Naked Rugby, but I seem to recall there are two different kinds of rugby. Is that right?
Sure. There’s the Stark Naked Rugby, and then there’s the Traditional Old-Fashioned Rugby.
Right! Traditional Old-Fashioned, that’s the one I want. I’m in! Tell me about it.
Well, you smoke a pipe and wear a top hat and frock coat, and zip around on your Segway, as you…
Wait a minute, Blog Guy. If this is Traditional Old-Fashioned Rugby, what are they doing on Segways?
Oh, they use older Segways, not the brand-new models.
Hmm…Shra..given the presence of a moustache, one could say he’s playing Fuhrer too…
Nobody booed, and the players were nude?
Okay, Blog Guy, it’s been two weeks since you wrote about any stupid sports. You must have something by now.
I sure do. Let’s turn our attention to rugby.
Hey, rugby may be foreign, but it’s not stupid!
It is when you play it naked, like the Nude Blacks of New Zealand.
Naked rugby! Who do they play against?
Last weekend they played a female Spanish team. The women wore clothes, as you can see here, and they played before a crowd of 1,500 people.
Looking for love? Raise the bar higher!
Blog Guy, I know you are very good at beauty tips. I’m a young woman who would like to meet some guys, and I wonder what I’m doing wrong.
First, you need to figure out the angle that makes your best first impression. Left side, right side, upside-down, whatever. Then, you should…
Excuse me? Upside-down? How would I just casually be upside-down when I meet a guy? And who looks good that way, anyhow?
Never under-estimate the impact of being upside-down. It is playful, yet confusing, and it’s a guy-magnet. That’s why so many women are taking up high jumping.
But don’t just take my word for it. Here, on the right, is a high jumper from Croatia, just looking normal.
Now, look up at the top photo. The very same woman, upside down. Pretty glamorous, huh? Guys are probably lining up with their pickup lines when she hits the ground.
in HS gym class, we were learning how to do flips on the trampoline. I could do a forward flip, but not backward. The gym teacher had her ‘student spotters’ assist me. Guess what? I did a back dive on the trampoline. I still have neck problems!
that last picture brings back a PAINFUL memory 
A sport that needs no urine test…
Blog Guy, you used to do a better job of covering really stupid sports. Isn’t that still a part of your beat?
Indeed. Have a look at the recent “Race of Beer,” down in Brazil. It’s a 1.2 mile race in which runners carry 12 cans of beer each. The goal is to cross the finish line with the cans empty. It turns out…
Wait! Time out, Blog Guy. You’re deviating from the traditional format! You’re supposed to find photos of something different, and pretend it’s a stupid sport, like Hands-Free Motorcycle Racing or Appliance Golf. This time, it looks like there really IS a “Race of Beer!”
There is. Sorry, but when I see something this stupid I can’t turn my back on it. Blog Guy doesn’t roll that way.
Beer is heavy. Why don’t the “athletes” just pour it out at the start of the race?
According to the organizers, the beer cannot be wasted. That includes barfing, pouring it out or leaving some in the bottom of the can. Teams that waste beer are disqualified.
You’ll have to wrestle me for the check
Well, Lamar, I have to tell you I’m excited. It was a big decision putting you totally in charge of every aspect of our new restaurant. Millions of dollars are riding on this, but I thought you deserved your chance.
Gee, thanks, Boss. I think you’ll be very glad you did.
So, talk me through it. Looks like the opening day lunch crowd is starting to arrive at Lamar’s.
Okay, Boss, so the idea is…
Excuse me, Lamar, I don’t mean to interrupt you, but these customers all seem to be enormous! And they’re just wearing loin cloths. Don’t we have a dress code?
Those guys are sumo wrestlers, Boss. They have a training camp across the street. They’re gonna love the place!
Yeah, if those guys really did eat poutine grits, they gonna need some of those Smurf-a-Potties, pronto.
Is everybody happy? Louder!
Blog Guy, I know you keep up with the various charities of the power elite. Somebody told me about a youth program Secretary of State Hillary Clinton supports, and I don’t think they got it quite right.
I imagine you’re talking about Sullen Young Ballplayers.
Yeah, that was the name of it alright. Tell me about it.
Not much to tell. Once a week her staff brings her a bunch of unhappy young people who would rather be somewhere else, and forces them to meet with her.
Clinton tries to cheer them up by telling rousing baseball anecdotes. It never works.
And all these kids are unhappy?
Ifly, thank God you didn’t include Polo in the description you just said. I just wonder how I would last more than a minute with rugby players and horses on the same pitch with figure skaters and soccer players! To say nothing of the potential hazards that a certain Tiger Woods would pose on all involved if he’s given some free time to play in tandem.
You snooze, you lose? Not this time…
Blog Guy, what would you say is your best sport, personally? Rock climbing, Ironman? Fight Club?
I’d have to say extreme napping.
Napping. You mean like just closing your eyes and sleeping?
It’s so much more than that. Oh, any idiot can just flop into bed at noon and call it a nap, but the competitors are always finding new places, mapping new napping.
Look at these pros in the photos. The guy napping under an armored vehicle, people snoozing on horseback, a bride asleep at her wedding.
wapeddove, you remind me of a band name I once thought of; “Wired in a Weird Way”.
Are you ready, athletes? Blow and go!
Blog Guy, you never seem to write much about the sport I participate in, the biathlon.
Sorry, I’ll do that right now. What instrument do you play?
Instrument? What are you talking about?
Sigh. The classic biathlon is a two-part sport. You play a piece on a brass instrument, then you swim 103 miles from Cuba to Florida.
Are you out of your mind?
No. What do you think the biathlon slogan means, anyway? “Play a tuba, swim from Cuba.” Look, here are photos of a recent one. This athlete is just finishing up the William Tell Overture on a trumpet before diving in for her long swim.
…And on a similar topic, I once heard of this fellow who wanted to swim across the English channel. Having completed three fourths of the way, he gave up and swam back to England.
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Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
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@CrowGirl, did you burn the lingerie and make some nice smoked salmon at least?