Blog Guy, what do you think of the huge musical news for this season?

It’s amazing, huh?

I’ll say! Who ever would have thought, a Bob Dylan Christmas CD!

Oh, that. I thought you were talking about those European soccer coaches recording all the great Righteous Brothers hits - “Unchained Melody,” “You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feelin’,” etc… Those coaches can really belt it out.

Soccer coaches? Righteous Brothers? This is just too stupid, even for you!

Fine, but I’ve already pre-ordered mine. It’s a tribute to Phil Spector, the Righteous Brothers’ legendary producer who of course is now in prison for murder.

I’m sure I’ll regret this. I already do. What’s this Spector tribute CD called?

“Chained Melody,” of course.

join the Oddly Enough blog network

Tweat yourself to this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Top: FC Zurich’s coach Bernard Challandes reacts at the end of their Champions League soccer match against Olympique Marseille at the Velodrome Stadium in Marseille, November 3, 2009. REUTERS/Philippe Laurenson

Combo: Assorted soccer coaches and managers. REUTERS photos

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I’m outraged. Connect me to your blog’s complaint department!

Hello, this is the Odd Blog Complaint Department. Your call is important to us…

Look here, I think this Basler guy ran a photo of Usain Bolt and a cheetah cub for the SOLE purpose of justifying a cheap pun headline playing off of a hit song from 1966!

I see. And you somehow expected more from this blog?

Yes. Usually Bob would only use a cheetah picture if the animal was pooping or something like that.

Let me get this straight. You’d LIKE to see a photo of a pooping cheetah?

Um, yes. That’s the main reason most of us come to this blog.

Okay then, ma’am. Because we care about customer satisfaction, here you go.

Wow! I AM satisfied. I’ll be back soon, and I’ll bring my friends! Tell Bob thanks a lot!

Live large. Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Tweat yourself to this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: Olympic and world champion sprinter Usain Bolt from Jamaica holds a three-month-old male cheetah cub at the Kenya Wildlife Service headquarters in Nairobi, November 2, 2009. Bolt adopted the cheetah cub named “Lightning Bolt” during the launch of the Animal Adoption Programme “Namayiana” at the Nairobi Animal Orphanage.

Below: A cheetah relieves itself in its cage at the KWS headquarters.

REUTERS photos by Thomas Mukoya

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Lamar, the big race starts in less than an hour! Where are the jockeys?

They’re coming, Boss!

Are they ready? Did they prepare for the race?

You betcha, Boss! They spent all night drinking!

That’s good. Drinking alcohol?

Of COURSE alcohol, Boss! What ELSE would you drink before the big race?

Just checkin’, Lamar. And did they wear themselves out?

For sure! They danced non-stop. Can’t even keep their eyes open!

Ah, there they are now, Lamar! I can see ‘em trying to find the stable…

It’s a grand sight, isn’t it, Lamar! On a morning like this, with the sun comin’ up over the puke-filled mud and the jockeys staggerin’ this way in their finery, if you squint just a bit you’d think you’re at the Royal Ascot Races.

Be better than other people. Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Tweat yourself to this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Riders finish a night of drinking alcohol and dancing before a traditional horse race on All Saints Day in Todos Santos, Guatemala, November 1, 2009. REUTERS/Daniel LeClair

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Color me embarrassed. We had a PRETTY BAD error on our file, and is our policy, we had to publicly correct it. It seems we reported that Bulgarian prosecutors are investigating a new gambling game in which drivers defy death by speeding through red lights for bets of up to $2,200.

In a game known as ‘Russian road roulette,’ the driver must jump red lights at busy intersections at high speed and not crash into any other cars or pedestrians.

Imagine doing something that stupid for $2,200!

Well, it soon became clear we had it all wrong. It turned out, drivers are playing this game for bets of up to $7,400, which is a lot different from doing it just for chump change like $2,200.

But as insane as this game still sounds, the most amazing part to me is that according to our story, ONLOOKERS bet on the outcome, too!

“Hey Lamar, look! They’re havin’ one of those Russian road roulette games right here! Think we should get the hell out of the way to save ourselves?”

“Not so fast, Clancy! I’ll bet you $200 that red Mustang misses that pedestrian in the Hawaiian shirt… Oops! Well, we didn’t shake on it, Clancy…”

Go for the gold. Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Tweat yourself to this blog on Twitter at rbasler

These are just random photos of Bulgarian traffic carnage, not connected to Russian Road Roulette.

Above: Drivers and members of the Bulgarian security service confer after the leading car of the motorcade of the visiting Maltese President Guido de Marco collided with a truck near the village of Mursalevo in a 2001 file photo. REUTERS

Below: A Bulgarian firefighter tries to extinguish a burning taxi whose propane gas tank had caught fire on a motorway in central Sofia in a 2005 file photo. REUTERS

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I hate to complain, but you used to do a much better job of covering stupid sports around the world. Many of us come here to see athletic events that are too twisted and ignorant for other media to cover. Anything new?

As a matter of fact, yes. I’ve really been getting into teargas sports. You know, teargas soccer, teargas baseball and the fastest-growing, teargas tennis.

Really? What do you like about teargas tennis?

Well for one thing, there is never any question of flawed calls from an umpire. When that teargas grenade goes off on your side of the net, you know it, as you can see in these photos of players.

And as the photo above shows, it takes a steady hand to whack that canister back over the barb wire “net” before it explodes.

Thanks, Blog Guy! Now this is the sort of stupidity we’ve come to expect from your blog. And what would you say is your very favorite part of a teargas tennis game?

That’s easy. I love the part where the winners try to jump over the wire net to congratulate their opponent. Talk about your great moments in sports…

Waste your life. join the Oddly Enough blog network

Tweat yourself to this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: A Palestinian demonstrator uses a tennis racket to return an empty tear gas canister at Israeli soldiers during a protest against the controversial Israeli barrier in the West Bank village of Bilin near Ramallah October 23, 2009. REUTERS/Yannis Behrakis

Below: Assorted tennis players, REUTERS photos

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I’ve decided to do my doctoral thesis on the inner workings of the Maldives government. Great idea, huh?

Uh, yeah. I presume your scuba gear is all packed and ready?

Scuba gear? I can’t even swim. Is that a problem?

It might be. It seems they hold their cabinet meetings underwater these days.

They do? Why wasn’t I informed? What is the point of that?

Well, I can’t be bothered to read the photo captions, but if I had to guess I’d say it cuts down on long-winded speeches.

It also saves money by not having to pay staffers to constantly fill officials’ water glasses during meetings.

This is going to really screw up my thesis. You think they’ll keep doing this for long?

I doubt it. The current Maldives President belongs to the We Do Cute Stuff For Media Attention Party, but opposition parties are starting to make their move.

And remind me, what parties are those?

The Great White Shark Party and the Professional Harpooners Party. This could be interesting.

Waste your life. join the Oddly Enough blog network

Tweat yourself to this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: Maldivian Minister of Fisheries and Agriculture Ibrahim Didi signs a declaration calling on countries to cut down carbon dioxide emissions ahead of a major U.N. climate change conference in December, in the Maldives, October 17, 2009. The Maldivian president and ministers held the world’s first underwater cabinet meeting on Saturday, in a symbolic cry for help over rising sea levels that threaten the tropical archipelago’s existence. REUTERS/Maldives Government/Handout

Below: Maldives President Mohamed Nasheed signs a declaration at the cabinet meeting. REUTERS/Maldives Government/Handout

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I need to get some medical advice from you in the strictest confidence. I am a very famous person. You may just call me Ronaldo.

Ah. You’re that guy from the big hamburger franchise? You ARE famous!

No. That would be Ronald McDonald. I myself am RONALDO, a huge soccer star, but I have injured my ankle. I need to play again soon. What do you recommend?

Get yourself some shamans - you know, magic guys. One of them should look like Muammar Gaddafi. The other one should have a dead rodent hanging from his neck.

A dead rodent… Hanging by what?

By what? By a Dead Rodent Strap, silly. What else would he use? They sell ‘em at Radio Shack.

Then what do the shamans do?

They get together this evening, holding a photo of you and some eyes and a skull and a gingerbread man cookie, and they chant.

Where did you learn all this stuff?

From a song in the musical, “South Pacific.”

Oh please don’t go where I think you’re going. What’s the song called?

“Shaman Chanted Evening,” of course.

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Peruvian shamans holding a poster of Portuguese soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo walk to perform a ritual in front of the Spanish Embassy in Lima October 19, 2009. The Peruvian shamans gathered outside the Spanish Embassy in Lima on Monday to channel their energies into fighting and removing what they say is a hex on Real Madrid forward Ronaldo, who is currently sidelined with an injured ankle. REUTERS/Mariana Bazo

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I recall you’ve been a professional fencing coach?

I don’t like to boast, but I do know quite a bit about those long pointy things.

Well so, what’s the most important thing to understand about fencing?

Timing.

Timing? You mean when to parry, when to thrust?

No, I mean the right time to jubilantly throw your arms up in victory celebration.

For instance, as these photos from the World Fencing Championships seem to show, the wrong time is when your opponent is three feet away from you and pissed-off and still has his long pointy thing.

Note: No fencers were harmed in making this blog post

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: Italy’s Andrea Baldini (L) celebrates after defeating Italy’s Andrea Cassara in the men’s individual foil quarter-final fencing event at the World Fencing Championship in Antalya, southern Turkey October 3, 2009.

Below: Poland’s Radoslaw Glonek lies on the ground after he was defeated by Germany’s Peter Joppich.

REUTERS photos by Murad Sezer

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Arnold: Who is your daddy and what does he do?

Sylvester: My old man, he was never too smart, he says to me, ‘You ain’t got much of a brain…’

Arnold: I remember days like this when my father took me to the forest and we ate wild blueberries…

Sylvester: Sometimes I wake up and I don’t know where I am…

Arnold: I’m your twin brother…

Sylvester: You know, you’re like a crazy brother to me…

Arnold: Your clothes … give them to me, now…

Sylvester: : I was wonderin’ if, uh, you wouldn’t mind marryin’ me very much…

Arnold: Your clothes … give them to me, now…

Sylvester: I think we make a real sharp couple of coconuts - I’m dumb, you’re shy, whaddaya think, huh?

Arnold: Your clothes … give them to me, now…

Oddly Enough blog network

Follow me on Twitter at rbasler

Actor Sylvester Stallone (L) and California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger at WBC Heavyweight Championship boxing bout in Los Angeles, September 26, 2009. REUTERS/Mike Blake

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, did you read about those guys who made the highest parachute landing ever at a drop zone near Mount Everest last week?

So they had the danger of diving from four miles up, AND they had to avoid hitting Mount Everest! They must be REALLY macho!

Total weenies, those guys. If they had only checked around, they would have found much more dangerous new combo sports. Just to name a few:

• Jumping over Everest from four miles up while playing Russian roulette
• Jumping over Everest from four miles up in a jumpsuit full of cobras
• Jumping over Everest from four miles up with a three-mile bungee cord attached to the airplane
• Jumping over Everest from four miles up while listening to Barry Manilow on your iPod

Wow! Do you need a special parachute for those combo sports?

Who said anything about a parachute?

Don’t grow up! Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Ramesh Chandra Tripathi, one of three team members, prepares to land at Gorakshep near the Mount Everest area, September 22, 2009. REUTERS/ Handout

More stuff from Oddly Enough