Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

It’s your turn to go “quack-quack,” Jim

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Blog Guy, you don’t seem to be too fond of hunting. I guess that’s just because you love animals?

Look, I’d really, really like it to be just because of my feelings about animals, and my opposition to cruelty and suffering and stuff like that…

But?

But just LOOK at these people! In all honesty, even if they didn’t have any bullets, and they were there to FEED the ducks, I’d STILL make fun of them for looking like total doofuses.

Grown men sitting out there on hard rocks, wearing camouflage, making “quack-quack” noises to trick unarmed ducks into flying within range? Have they ever taken a look at themselves, because it isn’t pretty.

Try to remember the best of September

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The figures are in for this blog’s most popular posts in September, and readers showed a wide variety of interests. They flocked to our pieces on rugby, especially the nude variety, and were eager to learn about flying machines and submarines you can build at home.

Throw in some arts, politics and entertainment, and you’ve got a well-rounded month for folks who no longer need constant supervision.

So it’s the nudes vs. the dorks?

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Blog Guy, I’m looking to join a rugby team. I saw your item about Naked Rugby, but I seem to recall there are two different kinds of rugby. Is that right?

Sure. There’s the Stark Naked Rugby, and then there’s the Traditional Old-Fashioned Rugby.

Nobody booed, and the players were nude?

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Okay, Blog Guy, it’s been two weeks since you wrote about any stupid sports. You must have something by now.

I sure do. Let’s turn our attention to rugby.

Hey, rugby may be foreign, but it’s not stupid!

It is when you play it naked, like the Nude Blacks of New Zealand.

Naked rugby! Who do they play against?

Last weekend they played a female Spanish team. The women wore clothes, as you can see here, and they played before a crowd of 1,500 people.

Looking for love? Raise the bar higher!

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Blog Guy, I know you are very good at beauty tips. I’m a young woman who would like to meet some guys, and I wonder what I’m doing wrong.

First, you need to figure out the angle that makes your best first impression. Left side, right side, upside-down, whatever. Then, you should…

A sport that needs no urine test…

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Blog Guy, you used to do a better job of covering really stupid sports. Isn’t that still a part of your beat?

Indeed. Have a look at the recent “Race of Beer,” down in Brazil. It’s a 1.2 mile race in which runners carry 12 cans of beer each. The goal is to cross the finish line with the cans empty. It turns out…

You’ll have to wrestle me for the check

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Well, Lamar, I have to tell you I’m excited. It was a big decision putting you totally in charge of every aspect of our new restaurant. Millions of dollars are riding on this, but I thought you deserved your chance.

Gee, thanks, Boss. I think you’ll be very glad you did.

So, talk me through it. Looks like the opening day lunch crowd is starting to arrive at Lamar’s.

Is everybody happy? Louder!

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Blog Guy, I know you keep up with the various charities of the power elite. Somebody told me about a youth program Secretary of State Hillary Clinton supports, and I don’t think they got it quite right.

I imagine you’re talking about Sullen Young Ballplayers.

Yeah, that was the name of it alright. Tell me about it.

Not much to tell. Once a week her staff brings her a bunch of unhappy young people who would rather be somewhere else, and forces them to meet with her.

You snooze, you lose? Not this time…

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Blog Guy, what would you say is your best sport, personally? Rock climbing, Ironman? Fight Club?

I’d have to say extreme napping.

Napping. You mean like just closing your eyes and sleeping?

It’s so much more than that. Oh, any idiot can just flop into bed at noon and call it a nap, but the competitors are always finding new places, mapping new napping.

Are you ready, athletes? Blow and go!

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Blog Guy, you never seem to write much about the sport I participate in, the biathlon.

Sorry, I’ll do that right now. What instrument do you play?

Instrument? What are you talking about?

Sigh. The classic biathlon is a two-part sport. You play a piece on a brass instrument, then you swim 103 miles from Cuba to Florida.