Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

He shoots! He doesn’t score!

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Blog Guy, explain something to me. I shot game two of the NBA Finals last night, and I had all the great action shots – Kobe Bryant, Courtney Lee, Pau Gasol – but my editor wouldn’t use any of them.

What did I do wrong?

You just never listen, do you? How many shots did you get of Leo?

Leo?

Leonardo DiCaprio! That’s the guy you want to shoot at the Lakers games! Look at these classic basketball shots in this combo, all taken at different games! Do I have to tell you everything?

I’m sorry, I just forgot. It’s here in my notes from your blog. IF YOU’RE NOT SHOOTING LEO, YOU’RE NOT SHOOTING BASKETBALL.

Right. And what did I say is the ONLY shot better than Leo?

Uh, here it is. Jack Nicholson’s exposed gut.

Exactly. Now go study those notes, and don’t bring me any more Kobe Bryant!

The best dumb stuff from May…

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Once again, the top-five most popular posts in this blog for May reflect the diverse interests of our readers.

We’ve got sports – okay, lingerie football, but that still counts.  We’ve got romance in the form of the smoking brides and the marriage countdown bra.

Berserk athletes in Paris, France

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Blog Guy, I remember from a few months ago you were in trouble with the tennis people for implying that they are unattractive when they play the game.

I think you had to agree to choose your photos randomly, and run a disclaimer. How’s that going?

The Wide World of Lingerie?

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I’m doing a survey on media photo coverage of sports. May I ask a few questions?

Sure, if I can go ahead and watch my “Hogan’s Heroes” reruns while we talk.

No running on the tightrope, kids!

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Blog Guy, can you tell me some stuff about high wire?

You mean the 50th state, home to President Obama?

That is the worst pun I’ve ever read. I’m talking HIGH WIRE, like in the circus.

Well, I know that just PLAIN tightrope walking is for sissy weenies these days. These photos show guys competing in a high wire SPEED RACE.

Skimpy bikinis, lots to think about!

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Hey Blog Guy, it seems like you’re always sort of making fun of fashion models. Why don’t you just once listen to what they have to say, and learn something?

That’s good advice. It so happens we have a video report on supermodel Bar Refaeli, who was the cover model for this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. She must have something to say, right?

You can’t HANDLE the ball!

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Okay guys, this is your big chance tonight. We’re playing the Lakers, so Old Coach has some sage advice for you. Listen up.

You can make or break your career tonight. You know how?

What? By scoring the winning shot? Oh please, get a grip!

No! Tonight you can get your big break because Jack Nicholson will be at the game, and you can do something so dramatic that you get photographed near him! You can’t buy publicity like that!

Damn you, guidance counselor!

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This time of year I get lots of queries from college seniors asking for career advice.

Often they say, “Bobby, are there any signs I can look for that might indicate I’ve chosen the wrong career?”

Hiking in the Alps, a bit of clothing halps?

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Quick quiz: hiking amid the stunning alpine beauty of the Appenzell area of Switzerland would make any nature-lover want to…

a) belt out a favorite song from “The Sound of Music.”

b) bounce a hearty yodel from peak to peak.

c) stop on the trail for a fondue feast.

d) strip and expose buck-naked leathery flesh to innocent strangers.

I’m afraid the correct reply is the naked hiking thing, which is why this place has just banned the activity, known locally as “Birthdaysuitinfloppinwalkin.”

Toss me the nuke, Duke!

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Blog Guy, I’ve read about the so-called “nuclear football” that goes everywhere with the U.S. President in case he needs to authorize a nuclear war. Are there any pictures of this doomsday gadget?

Photos of the super-secret device are very rare, but we got some at the White House a couple of days ago. Here you go.