Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Last week I reported on the stupid sport of Appliance Golf, and now I’ve got something even dumber. It’s Vertical Soccer, which combines two of my least-favorite things: strenuous exercise and hanging from great heights.
These are actual photos showing players dangling while trying to score vertical goals. The perfect sport for folks with way too much spare time, and not a lot of reason to live.
Here’s the thing. I’m not worried about the players. Guys like this, if they weren’t doing this particular stupid thing, would be doing some other stupid thing. The people I worry about are the innocent passers-by down below. Someday, one of them is going to be flattened by a falling vertical soccer player, and what a very humiliating obituary that’s going to make.
Coming next week, Vertical Bowling.
Have you thought about a goat wash? You can do two at a time, as the photo below shows. Dirty goat owners would flock to you.
We live in an upscale suburban neighborhood. Most of the goats here are already clean.
This became obvious after a a bunch of Dutch soccer fans at Euro 2008 followed a Swiss railway worker onto the tracks because they mistook his orange reflective vest for their traditional orange dress. I’m not making this up. It seems the idea that train tracks might be a wacky spot for a soccer match just didn’t occur to them.
That’s easy. Appliance Golf. You know, it’s a lot like regular golf, but players use sledgehammers instead of golf clubs, and they use washers, refrigerators and televisions instead of balls.
a) Weather ladies on a local TV news show
b) Berry Girls at a strawberry shortcake festival
They are Chinese cheerleaders. I was surprised too, since this isn’t how most guys think cheerleaders should look. I’m pretty sure these outfits were patterned after the ones worn by Puritan cheerleaders at the Salem witch trials, but clearly the designer also was influenced by “I Dream of Jeannie” reruns.
These days, I’m being treated to a flood of photos showing what people will do to themselves to support their favorite team at Euro 2008. Yesterday, you saw a couple of the haircuts, but it gets a lot worse than that.
I have to wonder what sort of conversation took place before this guy in Basel, the city of my ancestry, jammed a Swiss flag contact lens into his eye.
We’re getting queries from soccer fans who went too far for Euro 2008. Sports-related bad haircuts are always thrown out, so these three below are out of luck. Oh, my mistake - the lady with red hair turns out to be an actual model, at a Hair Expo, so she can sue and will win big.
The play is set to open on Broadway in… Oops, sorry, this is sort of embarrassing. It turns out Nicholson isn’t seen here performing the tense, explosive courtroom scene, he’s just attending a Lakers game last night.
You take this skeet shooting photo below. You could have shot it from behind, from the side, from an overhead vantage point… But if you can see the round holes where the shotgun pellets come out, you’re doing something wrong.
I should give him something. He’s the king! I could hurl my shiny sword at him, but you can get in trouble for doing that… They would call me “The Stupid One.”