Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Now, for you conspiracy nuts…
Blog Guy, I’ve heard there’s a super-secret society of prominent people in religion, politics and entertainment who communicate with each other through their own private hand gesture language.
I understand they are very active lately, indicating something big is about to go down. Is this true or not?
Please get a grip. Wouldn’t somebody in the media also have to be involved, to make sure they could all see the messages to each other? Trust me, I would notice if stuff like that started showing up!
Pope Benedict,
REUTERS/Dario Pignatelli
Dinara Safina,
REUTERS/Vincent Kessler
Pedro Martinez ,
REUTERS/Robert Galbraith
Bill Clinton,
REUTERS/Shannon Stapleton
You’ve come a long way, baby!
Blog Guy, I know you’re a sports nut. I guess you’ll be glued to the television for the big race?
You bet! I wouldn’t miss it.
Think Big Brown will pull it off?
Ah. So you’re talking about the Belmont in Elmont? I thought you meant the Lithuanian baby races, which I get on my satellite dish. My money is on Banga Sakalauske. I know a guy who knows her personal trainer, and…never mind, I’ve said too much already.
Barack, Paper, Scissors
Blog Guy, is it true that in addition to being a presidential candidate, Barack Obama has been a professional Rock Paper Scissors competitor?
Yes. In the spare time he spent never learning to bowl, Obama sharpened his skills at this game, instead. Indeed, he met his wife, Michelle, at the Rock, Paper, Scissors world championships a few years ago. They still frequently play the game to relax, when they think nobody is watching.
Open the safe, Mozart, this is a stick-up!
I did a very popular item about a phrase book for folks going to Austria for Euro 2008, to help get by in the local dialect. The guide is REALLY useful if you get a bit creative. Say you decide to rob a convenience store. By mixing up actual phrases from various pages, you can say:
“All by yourself? Do you have a safe? Give me the money! Do you understand? Come on, you joker, let me get by! I’m making a quick getaway! ”
Polo again today, Sir Rodney?
I read that two English soccer teams are playing in some finals in Moscow, and lots of fans are there.
What an opportunity, since you’re studying in Moscow! We would be THRILLED if you met a British boy and began courting. The English are such gentlemen! You’ll spot them easily. They will be wearing formal attire, and top hats or maybe bowlers.
Are you crazy? Are you blind?
“Another gherkin for me, please…” Excuse me, I’m just practicing phrases to use in Vienna for Euro 2008, thanks to a guide for visitors who wish to try the local dialect.
Our story says the guide helps with ordering Austrian cuisine, flirting with local women, and other tourist situations. I hope the gherkin line is under food rather than flirting, because not all chicks would consider it a turn-on.
Leggo of the sofa, ma, we’re winnin’ this race!
Blog Guy, I’m intrigued by your reports on what life is like where they don’t have cable television. You’ve shown singing dingos, a mobile sauna and worse. What a sad existence!
I’ve been holding back a bit, but I may as well take the lid off. In some deprived places they compensate for a lack of TV by racing furniture. We’ve had credible reports of people racing beds and chairs, sometimes while listening to OOMPAH music.
Don’t forget the…leap…hot sauce!
Blog Guy, I know you’re a real sports fanatic. Are there any events at the upcoming Beijing Olympics that have you really pumped?
You betcha. That new one, the 400 meter mobile phone hurdles. The training photos are breath-taking. The athletes show the split-second physical prowess of hurdle jumping while conversing on a cell phone at the same time!
We’d rather show up buck naked!
Blog Guy, I have a question about the Beijing Olympics, which I believe are being held in Peking. How will they control the number of athletes? Is there some qualifying event to make sure millions of them don’t all show up in China?
Are you kidding? That would be WAY too complicated! No, each country just controls the size of their teams by making the athletes wear really goofy-looking costumes to the opening ceremony.
Bubbles and troubles…
It’s time for yet another edition of “Things Maybe We Should Have Explained in the Caption, but Didn’t.” We see this race driver sliding along a river of champagne, and our caption just says he “slips down from the podium as he celebrates finishing second place.” This raises questions…
- Shouldn’t a real race driver be able to stand on a podium?
- Was this just another of those champagne tragedies, which mortify thousands of athletes every year?
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