Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
It’s a vintage Rolls Royce convertible, bristling with firepower. A mounted machine gun, a Lantaka swivel cannon, a double-barrel high-caliber Howdah pistol. And it used to belong to James Bond, right?
Readers of this blog know I’m always amazed that people will spend tons of money to own stuff touched by a genuine dumbass. A Jesse James autograph, Lee Harvey Oswald’s coffin, Bernie Madoff’s underwear.
Well now, for $1,000,000 or so you can bid on the car that the Maharaja of Kotah hunted Bengal tigers in during the last century.
I’ll just let that sink in for a minute. The man hunted tigers from the comfort of a Rolls Royce.
Blog Guy, I’m a faithful reader of your blog and I’m hoping you can use your influence to get me tickets to the Copa America soccer matches now underway in Argentina.
I guess I could pull a few strings. Let’s see, looks like I can put you in Peru’s section, in some really fine seats.
Oh Dear Lord, tell me this isn’t happening!
I just wanted to watch some tennis, so I called the boss on our busiest day of the year and said I was sick with projectile vomiting, impacted wisdom teeth, temporary insanity and a fever of 106…
Blog Guy, you seem to be dropping the ball on Stupid Sports, which used to be one of your main coverage areas. Come on, there must be SOMETHING goofy going on among the world’s athletes!
You’re right, this is the season for Traction Distraction Racing, and I have to say…
People, we know why we’re here. Our public relations firm has been hired by a bodybuilding association to improve their image, since focus groups tend to describe bodybuilders as freakish, grotesque, disgusting and hideous.
So. Who’s got some ideas. Lamar, you raised your hand?
Yeah Boss, I’ve got a suggestion. I think if we just got them to smile all the time while they’re onstage, people wouldn’t notice the rest of it.
Johnson, get your butt into my office! You call yourself a news photographer?
Jeez, Boss, I thought I was doing better. What’s wrong?
I send you out to cover Formula One racing over the weekend, and you come back with shots of cars?
Look at this crap! Cars having wrecks, cars on fire, cars flying through the air…
Sit down, Joe, I need to have a little talk with you.
Sure Boss, what is it?
I’ve heard reports that some of our lookalikes are fraternizing with the cutouts. I think you know we have a strict policy against that.
I can’t help myself, Boss. She’s just so tempting.
Then maybe you’re not cutout to be a lookalike, Joe.
But Boss! I’m the poster boy for lookalikes!
Well, you are a dead ringer for a dead player, I’ll give you that.
I sure am, Boss. I’m the – haaaaaarrrracchhhhhh – spitting image!
Blog Guy, I have a question about bicycle racing. I saw pictures recently where it looked like the tires the racers were using didn’t even have any spokes. Is that possible?
Yeah, maybe. Anything’s possible.
Really? That’s your answer? Where did you get such detailed, elaborate information?
Blog Guy, are you still doing those fantasy shots for your blog readers?
Yes, if they are interesting and have some artistic value. What are you looking for?
I’d like a shot of eight or nine chicks with long, shapely legs to die for, wearing stiletto heels.