Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Okay, here’s where I start to get very confused by the behavior of some sports fans. From London comes news that fans of the Chelsea soccer team have been warned against throwing celery during matches.
Yes, I did say celery. The warning follows referee reports which mention celery-throwing at two recent Chelsea matches. It seems the fans have been throwing celery among themselves, and singing an unprintable song about the vegetable, for more than two decades.
I can’t print the song here – that’s why it’s called unprintable – but the first and last lines are:
With a lump of celery
You can find the rest online, but don’t waste your time. It borders on the feeble-minded, and the mental image of fans thinking it’s amusing is pretty depressing. If you’re feeling creative, try coming up with a printable verse about celery, and share it via Post a Comment. Here’s the story:
If there isn’t a movie here, then what is Hollywood for? From Thailand comes news that an imprisoned drug seller will enter the ring next month in a fight not only for a world boxing title, but for her freedom as well.
Siriporn Taweesook, who has already spent seven years behind bars, could be paroled three years early as a reward if she wins the WBC light-flyweight title. I think we call that a “motivated competitor,” and I’m guessing the best seats will go to producers, agents and screenwriters.
Dear Blog Guy,
I need to lose a few pounds, and I’m looking for a good sport to get involved in. Do you have any tips?
Eager to Compete
Yes, Eager, I have some tips. Avoid sports with names like extreme, mountain, insane, death, wolverine, and tough guy. This video clip, for instance, shows what you may encounter in the tough guy category. The winner is speaking English, and we still need subtitles. Not a good sign.
Javelin thrower Buoban Pamang says before coming to the Asian Games she had very little confidence, and hoped for a bronze medal at best. Then, she says, she had a dream about diamonds – considered very lucky in Thailand – and went on to win a javelin gold medal.
Or, to sum it up, you might say diamonds are a hurl’s best friend….
Dear Blog Guy,
You usually seem to be ahead of the curve on new trends. What do you think will be the next big sport?
Good question! I’m going to have to go with elephant polo. It uses animals nobody owns, takes up lots of space, leaves a horrible mess, and is sponsored by an elite jeweler. How can it lose?
The pagentry. The beauty. Athletes in motion.
Yes, this weekend is the Rock, Paper, Scissors World Championships in Toronto, and the best and the brightest will be competing for a lot of money and prestige.
I am not kidding you.
It turns out, this is a very old game. Like ten minutes after scissors were invented, kids were playing rock, paper, scissors. Apparently it evolved quickly from a much more basic game called rock, which wasn’t so much fun.
First, let me apologize for that awful pun. People have come to expect more from this blog, and I feel shame. But I just can’t compete with the actual truth.
This is farmers golf, played in the Netherlands with a stick that has a wooden shoe attached to it. According to Wikipedia, the holes in farmers golf are made by putting buckets in the ground with flagpoles beside them. The balls are much larger than those used in real golf. I am not making this up. If you can do better than that, drop us a caption via Post a Comment.
Who could have guessed that the next big trend would be nun-matador bars? But here they are, wildly successful – at least, you know, in cities that have both nuns and matadors. Of course, you may have different ideas about what’s going on in this photo. Try your hand at a clever caption, and send it our way via Post a Comment.
You come here often? Nuns talk to Spanish assistant bullfighters before the start of a bullfight at Pamplona’s bullring on the last day of the San Fermin festival July 14, 2006. REUTERS/Susana Vera
Dear Blog Guy:
I don’t like the way you’re ignoring the World Cup. Come on, you guys must have some great pictures from the games, don’t you? Would it kill you to post at least one on your blog?
A Soccer Fan
No, I guess it wouldn’t. Here you go:
Sweden fans kiss before the Group B World Cup 2006 soccer match between Sweden and Paraguay in Berlin June 15, 2006. REUTERS/Yves Herman