Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Are they like playing tennis in a volcano?

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TENNIS-WIMBLEDON/

Johnson, you call yourself a news photographer? Just a few days ago we had that fiasco with the political shots in Germany, and now this?

What on EARTH is this photo you turned in from the Wimbledon tennis championships?

IRAQ-ELECTION/Oh. Yeah, Boss, I can explain that. There was an unexpected solar eclipse.

Johnson, they don’t have unexpected eclipses, and there wasn’t one yesterday!

Right. I was being artistic, Boss. I thought it would be real interesting to show how the match looks to somebody who is wearing a burqa. You know, one of those head-to-toe veils?

Lady, your chest is ringing…

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Blog Guy, I know you don’t care much about the World Cup, but I would sure like to go.

SOCCER-WORLD/So what’s stopping you?

Please don’t laugh, but I don’t know where I would put my cell phone.

This just about clinches it, I’m in hell…

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SOCCER-WORLD/

Hey Blog Guy, let’s play a game. What’s the very, very worst thing you can imagine doing right now?

Um, I’d have to say, watching that World Cup thing. You know, in person.

Sure, I think most people feel that way, but surely you can be more specific. Say you WERE at the World Cup right now, couldn’t it get worse somehow?

Let’s meet some World Cup fans!

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SOCCER-WORLD/

Blog Guy, you haven’t had much to say about the World Cup. Why didn’t you go to it and blog from there?

SOCCER-WORLD/Are you kidding me? I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that my seat would have been right between these two imbeciles.

It’s downhill all the way, baby!

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LATVIA/

Blog Guy, I’m SO pumped! I’ve never been any good at sports, but yesterday I saw a reference to one that could be perfect for me!

LATVIA/That’s great. What is it?

You’re not even going to believe it. DOWNHILL bike racing!

Can you imagine? I mean, how athletic do I have to be to sit on a bike and steer the handlebars while gravity does the rest?

When handball turns hardball…

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Blog Guy, I know you closely follow all sports, and I have a question about handball.

Sure. But are you talking about regular handball, or Greek handball?

handball 1 490

Huh? What’s the difference?

In regular handball they use a ball. In Greek handball, they hurl chairs. Athletes who are accustomed to regular handball tend to be in for a surprise when they go to Greece to play.

“Hurt Locker” soccer?

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, I don’t know how I’m going to get through all this World Cup stuff. I’m already so bored by soccer. How about you?

Which kind are you talking about?

beckham 2 260There are different kinds of soccer?

Sure. There’s regular soccer, and then there’s that new Extreme Soccer, like they play in war zones and places like that.

Did anybody else feel a bump back there?

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Well readers, it’s May 20th, time for me to announce the coveted Dumbass of the Month Award. The winner is…

maradona car 1 260Wait, Blog Guy, there are still 11 days to go in May. This hardly sounds fair.

The winner is Argentina soccer coach Diego Maradona, who ran over a cameraman while on his way to name the members of his squad for the World Cup finals.

Make way for the Montreal Dumbasses!

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montreal shoes 490

“Yo, Lamar! Our team just won a hockey game! Let’s celebrate!”

“I have an idea, Lonnie, let’s be total dumbasses and loot a liquor store!”

Brief query: what’s in a boxer’s drawers?

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BOXING/

Blog Guy, help settle a bet with my boyfriend, please.

Here we go again with the settling of stuff. That’s all I do anymore. I should be a contender for that Supreme Court vacancy.

boxer briefs 240Enough about you, Blog Guy. This is a sports question about fighters and undershorts. Do professional boxers really WEAR boxers?