Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
I’ll admit my blog isn’t very good, but without goofy photos it would be far worse. Trust me. So this is the big day when I reveal the five goofiest photos of 2009. Below are two through five, in no particular order.
And now, for the moment we’ve all been waiting for, GOOFIEST SHOT OF THE YEAR, which I’ve saved just for today. The envelope please… It is the only known photo of a U.S. first lady giving the stink-eye to an earthworm. It don’t get no goofier than this!
President Barack Obama talks with White House Photo Office Executive Assistant Nora Becker during the White House staff picnic on the South Lawn of the White House, June 26, 2009. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)
The Dalai Lama jokes with a nasal spray after being asked his opinion on the swine flu during a press conference after his first lecture in Lausanne August 4, 2009. REUTERS/Valentin Flauraud
I don’t know. I just can’t figure out what’s happening here. The caption just tells us we’re seeing “hostesses” simulating a shower during a “promotional event for a dating Website.”
Well crap, I’ve been skiing and I haven’t seen women showering at the top of the mountain. Can I get my money back? This must be the place where Hef skis.
People say to me, “Bob, what are YOU thankful for on this Thanksgiving?” and I tell them plenty of stuff, because I am truly blessed.
Blog Guy, I know all contact sports have risks. Boxing, football, fencing, they can all take their toll. Is there any threat that is especially common to soccer players?
Absolutely. There is the tragedy of soccer blindness, as seen here in these terrifying photos. It afflicts hundreds of players every year, usually during an actual game.
Blog Guy, what do you think of the huge musical news for this season?
It’s amazing, huh?
Oh, that. I thought you were talking about those European soccer coaches recording all the great Righteous Brothers hits – “Unchained Melody,” “You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feelin’,” etc… Those coaches can really belt it out.
Soccer coaches? Righteous Brothers? This is just too stupid, even for you!
Fine, but I’ve already pre-ordered mine. It’s a tribute to Phil Spector, the Righteous Brothers’ legendary producer who of course is now in prison for murder.
Lamar, the big race starts in less than an hour! Where are the jockeys?
They’re coming, Boss!
Are they ready? Did they prepare for the race?
You betcha, Boss! They spent all night drinking!
That’s good. Drinking alcohol?
Of COURSE alcohol, Boss! What ELSE would you drink before the big race?
Just checkin’, Lamar. And did they wear themselves out?
For sure! They danced non-stop. Can’t even keep their eyes open!
Ah, there they are now, Lamar! I can see ‘em trying to find the stable…
It’s a grand sight, isn’t it, Lamar! On a morning like this, with the sun comin’ up over the puke-filled mud and the jockeys staggerin’ this way in their finery, if you squint just a bit you’d think you’re at the Royal Ascot Races.
Color me embarrassed. We had a PRETTY BAD error on our file, and is our policy, we had to publicly correct it. It seems we reported that Bulgarian prosecutors are investigating a new gambling game in which drivers defy death by speeding through red lights for bets of up to $2,200.
In a game known as ‘Russian road roulette,’ the driver must jump red lights at busy intersections at high speed and not crash into any other cars or pedestrians.
Blog Guy, I hate to complain, but you used to do a much better job of covering stupid sports around the world. Many of us come here to see athletic events that are too twisted and ignorant for other media to cover. Anything new?
As a matter of fact, yes. I’ve really been getting into teargas sports. You know, teargas soccer, teargas baseball and the fastest-growing, teargas tennis.
Blog Guy, I’ve decided to do my doctoral thesis on the inner workings of the Maldives government. Great idea, huh?
Uh, yeah. I presume your scuba gear is all packed and ready?
Scuba gear? I can’t even swim. Is that a problem?
It might be. It seems they hold their cabinet meetings underwater these days.
They do? Why wasn’t I informed? What is the point of that?
Well, I can’t be bothered to read the photo captions, but if I had to guess I’d say it cuts down on long-winded speeches.