Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, can I work for your blog in some capacity?
You could be an interim intern.
May I ask some questions about the work?
Yes, I will answer your interim intern questions in turn.
What if you catch me stealing?
We will intern you. You will be an interned intern.
What if I stop moving while I’m interned?
If you’re inert, we will inter you.
Really? You inter inert interned interim interns?
Sure. Does interim interning interest you?
What sort of work is it?
Internet research. It’s an interim intern Internet job, unless you become an interred inert interned interim Internet intern.
I’ll take it. Who do you want me to do research on?
Pinter. Its an interim intern Pinter Internet job….
Left: Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky in a 1997 file photo. REUTERS/Defense Department/Handout
Right: Ordnance crew member handles an inert practice bomb on board the USS Abraham Lincoln aircraft carrier in the Gulf, February 8, 2003. REUTERS/John Schults
Happy New Year, Blog Guy. It’s me, your editor.
Er, well, I wanted to talk to you about that. The publisher has a few ideas for tweaking your content slightly.
I feel I have been slighted, and I must speak my bitterness.
Let me back up for a moment. The Washington Post has been reporting on textbooks being used in some Virginia schools which are riddled with errors about history.
The numerous mistakes include the wrong number of states in the Confederacy during the Civil War, the wrong year the U.S. entered World War I, etc.
Johnson, get in my office! I need to talk to you!
Oh no, Boss, what did I do wrong now?
Nothing. I have a great assignment for you. We’re gonna do a whole photo series called, “Republican 2012 presidential contenders: Where the heck do their kids live, anyway?”
Er, really, Boss? I mean it’s a very catchy title, but do you think readers care that much about it?
I just get a special enjoyment from doing some items, and I hope it shows. Sometimes it’s because people do real things that you would never imagine. Other times a photo or germ of an idea just makes me laugh and I take off with it.
Blog Guy, since the year is almost over, can you give us a preview of what surprises the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop has in store for 2011?
You bet. We’re busy gearing up for the start of our huge winter tourist season, with new exhibits and a grand reopening.
Blog Guy, do you have any budget left for those fantasy photos you set up for readers?
Not much, but the year is almost over. What do you have in mind?
Well, I’d like a dog and, um, a guy playing bagpipes.
That sounds pretty easy. Not much of a fantasy.
Yeah, but I want to see them through a round hole in an underground passage at a park in Slovenia.
Blog Guy, you haven’t mentioned your brother, Basil, in a while.
I believe you once told us he works overseas, in an expatriate job. He’s an expert at export, as I recall?
No, he’s no longer an expat export expert. Basil left for a career as a folk musician. He moved to the Gulf, to play guitar in Doha.
As you may have noticed, 2010 was quite a year for dumbasses.
It seems like they were everywhere. Celebrities, sports figures, politicians, and just regular dumbasses as well, the kind who might live next door to you.
Until recently the victims of widespread discrimination, dumbasses now seem to be not only accepted, but even in vogue. Look at any “talking head” news show on TV.
Blog Guy, you’re an expert on social etiquette. Should I give a gift or a tip to my favorite bloggers at Christmas? Would they be offended because they’re professionals?
Offended? Of course not. After all, you tip other professionals like your dentist and congressman, don’t you?