Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

You’re losin’ to a shrub, Bub!

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potted plant legs 490

Blog Guy, I’ve heard that you set up test races and stuff like that, so your readers can bet on what beats what? Do you still do those?

GAMES-ASIAN/Sure. I still have a little money left in my budget for the year. What would you like to see?

Well, I’ve heard that when we’re not looking, potted plants can move pretty fast. Is it true?

That’s a perennial question. Where did you hear it?

I heard it through the grapevine.

Well, we put your question to a test by arranging a race between a team of athletes, and a team of potted plants.

Are you smarter than your turkey?

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OBAMA/

It’s that time again, when no matter how well you’ve hidden your stupidity during the year, it’s going to come out when you try to cook your Thanksgiving turkey.

NFL/It turns out, this is the ultimate IQ test. Just ask the folks who answer the phones at that Butterball Turkey Talk-Line, where any moron can call in and get expert advice simply by saying the words, “God help me, I am way too stupid to live…”

Can I have a beer first, Doctor?

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nightclub 490

Blog Guy, I have a medical question. I’m a woman considering getting breast implants. Where can I go to get a breast exam and a reliable professional opinion on this?

I’d probably just head for a nightclub. There may be a doctor there who can examine you right on the spot.

One small step for man…aaaahhhhhh!!!

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Blog Guy, you strike me as a guy who would like practical jokes.

SWITZERLAND/No way. Too many of those things are cruel, sick, mean-spirited and make me cringe.

Oh come on, I can tell from the humor in your blog, you’ve contemplated some pretty funny tricks on your fellow man, even if you never went through with them.

Oh no no no I’m a rocket man…

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MYANMAR-ELECTION/THAILAND

Blog Guy, my college career counselor sent me to you. He said you keep tabs on the most interesting and unusual new jobs out there, and I definitely want to try something different.

Glad to help. I was just reading an online recruiting ad for door-to-door RPG salesmen. The pay is good, and that sales sampler you carry on your back is a chick magnet.

Making a token gesture…

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Okay, people, listen up! We’re trying to rehearse an awards show here!

Places, please!

MUSIC-MTV/EUROPESo do you all understand the drill?

If you win an award, go immediately to the backstage press area and flip off the media. One finger is adequate, but of course we’re hoping you can remember to do it with TWO fingers.

Now let’s all practice it a bit. Everybody look at Kesha, she’s got that panoramic thing going on. Very nice, Kesha.

Why I never leave home…

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melbourne cup 490

Blog Guy, don’t make any plans for tomorrow. I have tickets for us to go see…

melbourne women 320Let me stop you right there. Thanks, that’s very thoughtful, but I’ve already seen it.

Mind your manors, Blog Guy…

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nonsuch crop 490

Blog Guy, I am enthralled by a little bit of history I stumbled upon in a Reuters story. Are you familiar with a royal palace built by King Henry VIII in the 1500s and named Nonsuch, because no other palace could match its splendor?

PLAYBOYThe story says a 16th century watercolor of Nonsuch, one of the very few detailed depictions known to exist, is expected to fetch nearly $2 million. Anything that sheds some light on the palace is worth a fortune.

This is one REALLY goofy hobby!

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I know it’s only November 2, but I am confident that we have found the “Euphemism of the Month” already.

The photo captions say we’re seeing these women “prepare” for an amateur bodybuilding tournament. Excuse me?

Her name was Lola, ate Gorgonzola…

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Hola, Blog Guy! It’s me, Lola! I’m a long-time listener, first-time caller.

Hola, Lola! Welcome to the show. What’s on your mind?

MUSIC-TRAIN-COKEMany of us senior citizens on Social Security just found out we’re not getting a COLA – Cost of Living Adjustment – this year!