Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Was Dr. Seuss in Belarus?

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FASHION-BELARUS/

Blog Guy, I’m a young woman in my first year of college. I should be pulling all-nighters to study for my mid-terms, but I keep falling asleep.

FASHION-BELARUS/You need professional help staying awake, I suggest you go to Belarus. See a designer named Ludmila Labkova. She can tie your hair so tight it’s impossible to close your eyes.

Very tempting, but I frown on artificial aids.

You can’t frown at all, once Ludmila tightens your hair.

Is there any danger with this procedure?

It prevents blood from flowing to your lips, turning them black and paralyzing your jaw.

Fine, I have no oral mid-terms. Where can I find Ludmila?

In the capital, Minsk. She’ll be holding her minks, just back from the Sphinx.

Topless model makes spectacle?

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FRANCE-FASHION/

Lamar! The fashion show is about to start, and one of the models is topless!

FRANCE-FASHION/Only the one, Boss? I don’t know what the others were thinking of. I’ll talk to them.

No, Lamar! They’re SUPPOSED to have tops! This isn’t HBO!

Run backstage right away where we keep those, you know, what-do-you-call-ems?

What are you talking about, Boss? You’re hysterical!

You know, those things! Two circles, connected. Please, hurry!

Okay Boss, I figured out what you meant. It’s all taken care of.

Bless you, Lamar. You complete me….

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A model presents a creation by French designer Jean-Charles de Castelbajac as part of his Spring/Summer 2011 women’s ready-to-wear collection during Paris Fashion Week October 5, 2010. REUTERS/Pascal Rossignol

A business engrave danger?

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Blog Guy, you’re always way ahead of the curve on business and the economy. I’d love to hear your take on the failure of Lehman Brothers. Panic? Bad investments? Greed?

Nah, it was their business cards.

lehman card 490

Excuse me? I read all the Reuters blogs, and nobody else ever mentioned that.

Most of our bloggers are scared to death of the powerful business card engraving industry. But the fact is, near the end Lehman Brothers was issuing business cards that were so massive it took two guys just to carry one, like in the photo above.

Stop staring at my assets!

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COLOMBIA-FASHION/

Blog Guy, I’m a young woman with an unusual problem. I’m just too beautiful.

Excuse me? How is that a problem? You can probably make money from that.

FRANCE-FASHION/I grow tired of fending off suitors and discouraging courtship. What can I do to turn guys off?

If the shoe fits, hang it…

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Blog Guy, I’m a woman in need of advice. I spend 82 percent of my income on new shoes, so naturally the old ones pile up quickly. I hate to just throw out all my pumps. How can I put them to good use?

art shoes 490

Many women put their old shoes in picture frames and hang them on the wall. It’s very colorful. This one is in an actual art museum.

Edelweiss, schnitzel’s nice, ev’ry morning you greet me…

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Blog Guy, I’ve been reading that two men accused of espionage for Libya are on trial in Germany. Are you covering it?

Yes, but privacy laws in the German courts are very strict, as we’ve seen before.

We’re off to see the lizard…

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Blog Guy, I need some of your famous travel advice. I can get an AMAZING deal on a week at a five-star luxury beach hotel in a Russian city on the Black Sea. What do you think? Is there a catch?

RUSSIA/

Yes, that would be Snake by the Lake Lodge, and I’m familiar with the scam. They lure tourists there and then feed them to the reptiles that roam the grounds.

You’re just wasting these goofy shots?

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USA/

Boss! What are you doing here? You NEVER come to the Oddly Enough Blog office!

BRITAINJust keeping the staff on their toes, Lamar, auditing the books.

Sure, Boss! Sit down. Somebody bring Blog Guy a doughnut! No, a CLEAN one!

Lamar, it’s almost the end of the month, and I see a stack of goofy photos we’ve paid for but haven’t used. What a waste of my goofy photo budget!

You know how it is, Boss, some of ‘em look real goofy so we buy ‘em, but then the writers can’t think of anything funny to say.

Look, Mr. Purina has a new outfit!

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Man, am I pumped!

SPAIN-FASHIONLet me back up a minute. Despite being a global style guru thanks to my blog, I really don’t worry too much about my personal wardrobe.

I blog from home, so I don’t have office dress codes, and I make most of my own clothing from big empty dog food bags. The dry kind, not so much the meaty wet stuff…

Want some novelty science with that whoopee cushion?

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Okay, enough is enough.

I appreciate science as much as the next person. I understand there are at least 5,000 feet in a mile. I totally get it that Fahrenheit and Celsius are different scales, and that for instance minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit is, um, let’s see, minus 40 degrees Celsius.

moses model 490

But here is a new scientific study saying Moses may not have parted the Red Sea. Scientists say a strong wind that blew through the night could have pushed the waters back in the way described in biblical writings and the Koran.