Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Is it me, or does it look better on HER?

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What’s wrong, Boss? Why are you crying?

pinky lee 160Lonnie, our clothing label is ruined. This is the end…. It’s all my fault. I sank everything into buying millions of yards of plaid automobile seat cover fabric for the 1960 Chevy Impala.

Boss, don’t torture yourself. That was 50 years ago!

No, actually it was last week. I thought the ’60 Impala would make a comeback, and now we’re stuck with this crap.

Okay Boss, so we don’t use it for seat covers. We’ll make men’s suits from it! See, you think this will catch on?

Only if Pinky Lee comes back along with the Impala. Let’s face it, this fabric is grotesque.

Moody? It’s just a fez she’s going through!

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Lamar, I’ve been looking at our creations for the fashion show, and I know what’s missing.

What’s that, Boss?

fashion fez vertical white 200Hats. I think each model should wear a colored hat. Maybe like a fez.

Fez? The candy you carry in that little dispenser?

No, you dimwit, that’s Pez! I said a fez, like they wear in the Middle East. Everybody is talking about that area these days, Lamar…

Welcome to our new Viking Slave Class!

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Blog Guy, I’m planning some vacations and I wonder what I can look forward to in the world of airline travel. I figure it can only get better, right?

Sure, if that’s what you’d like to believe. But you might want to look at a new airline seat configuration, the so-called “standing seat,” just unveiled at a conference on aircraft interiors.

It’s a regular Hu’s Who, Blog Guy!

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Hey, Blog Guy, I’ve been looking at your photo file. You just had a shot of China’s President Hu Jintao, in Shenzhen.

Who?

Yes, Hu! He was near Macau, where that snooker player is from.

ws howe 220What?

That’s him! Si Tau Chong Wut. And while Hu was in Shenzhen, China’s premier was in Tianjin.

The glamorous world of foreign hernias

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Blog Guy, thanks for the useful career advice for us recent grads. I have a batch of glossy brochures for promising careers overseas, and I’m hoping you can help me narrow my search.

Here’s one from a place called Ukraine, entitled, “The Thrilling World of Tire Delivery!”

What are you boys doing in this dive?

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Blog Guy, I’m a woman with a question about human nature. How dumb are guys?

Excuse me?

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You know, I mean how really, really stupid are they? Will they do absolutely anything if they think it will impress a pretty woman?

Look! It is ‘El Tall One’ himself!

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Blog Guy, can you please settle a bet with my pedicurist’s pest control guy?

Sure. I’m just here to settle bets. What’s up?

tall matador 240It’s about bullfighting, and I know you wrote the book on that. The cockroach man says bullfighters tend to be short, like jockeys, but I think they’re much taller. Who’s right?

Run for cover, boys, they’re shootin’ blanks!

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I’m just not positive what’s going on here.

This caption says a trainer is firing blanks as a soldier jumps off a platform during an obstacle course at an Iraqi military base, while U.S. soldiers take shelter from the scorching summer sun and watch the Iraqis train. Let’s watch and learn…

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“Okay men, listen up! This is an important training exercise for all those times when the enemy expects us to jump off a platform while they shoot blanks at us!

And the morel of this story is…

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Hey Blog Guy, you obviously know a lot about language. I just heard a strange expression, “As dumb as an Italian hunter.” What does that even mean?

CROATIAIt means incredibly dumb, is what it means. At least 17 people have been killed recently in hunting accidents in the mountains and forests of northern Italy, six of them in a single 48-hour period.

We’re crashing? Can I still get Duty Free?

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There was an incredible story last week, which I can’t get out of my mind.

NBA/British Airways apologized after an emergency message was played in flight by mistake, warning passengers they might be about to crash into the sea.

The plane was bound from London to Hong Kong at the time. The cabin crew realized the error, and reassured the terrified passengers.