Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Starting your own Goofy Face Museum?

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fishermen and bride 490

Blog Guy, as the curator of the very popular Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop in the nation’s capital, can you tell us a little about what makes a truly goofy picture? It all starts with a goofy face, right?

afghan melon goofy 320Not always. The photo above is wonderfully goofy, but nobody’s making a face.

It contains the classic elements of a goofy photo. A bride and groom kissing, and weird-looking fishermen drinking nearby.

That’s the secret? ANY goofy photo will have kissing newlyweds next to fishermen getting hammered?

Good to the last droppings?

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Okay gang, we’ve gotta find a way to distinguish our brand of coffee from all the others. You know, like it’s grown on misty Blue Mountain, or in the intoxicating sea breezes of Hawaii, or some poetry like that.

Boss, why don’t we go more in the direction those guys in Asia took? You know, “We make our coffee from half-digested cherries found in the poop of wild civets.”

The best job title on earth?

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Boss? How come you’re in the office reading crime reports on such a nice day?

THAILAND-ARMSDEALER/Are you kidding, Lamar? This is what I’ve been waiting for! Look at the photos of this suspected arms dealer, Viktor Bout, also known as the “Merchant of Death.”

Wave, dummy! The president’s going by!

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USA/

Blog Guy, I see the Obamas are vacationing in Martha’s Vineyard again this summer. Those lucky residents! They can just walk out on their porches and balconies and see Barack and Michelle. What fun!

vineyard balcony crop 300Well, yes and no. It’s more work than it was the last time Obama went to the Vineyard.

What the hell is my hand doing up here?

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universe pose 490

There it is again.

USA/The lady in the photo above is Jimena Navarrete, who was crowned Miss Universe just a couple of days ago. The one on the right is another contestant, Miss Brazil.

Both of them are doing this wacky glam pose that I guess somebody thought was sexy 100 years ago, and it just never went away.

How drunk do you have to BE, Lamar?

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So Doc, tell me. How did the operation go to remove that cyst? I feel great!

ODD-GERMANY/BULLETWell Lamar, surprisingly it wasn’t a cyst at all. It was a bullet, lodged right there in your head, I’d say for five or six years. You’ve been carrying it around all this time.

A bullet, huh? I’ll be! I guess that would be from a New Year’s Eve party.

Insert zany cartoon sound here…

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SPAIN/

Honey, is that you? How was your fight? Did you torture another poor creature to death?

Mmmmmpffffffffff…..

I can’t understand what you’re saying. Sounds like somebody stopped off for a few beers with his amigos, huh?

Wolfing down those free samples?

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Blog Guy, I’m going out to lunch. Wanna come along?

Thanks, I ate already. Spicy Peanut Chicken Kebabs with Satay Sauce, and Blue Cheese with Roasted Pecan Dip, over at Trader Joe’s.

GERMANY/

Yummmmm! That sounds great! Trader’s has a restaurant now?

Nah, you know, they put out those itty-bitty paper cups with free samples for shoppers to try.

Don’t show him your butt, Lamar!

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Until today, my favorite oxymoron – and I’ve blogged on the subject frequently – was “homemade submarine.”

bull amateur 300But now, we have a new winner. This video clip shows a spectator being gored during an “amateur bullfight.” I am not making that up.

Head out on the highway, take a swordfish with you…

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swordfish cycle 490

Blog Guy, I know you’re an expert on the animal kingdom, and I want you to settle a bet about swordfish with my step-son’s biology teacher.  This teacher says that while swordfish are indeed fish, they do not travel by swimming.

Pay up, the teacher is right.

swordfish crop 260As you can see in this photo, swordfish travel on the back of motorcycles and motorbikes.