Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

It’s time to share the pain…

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Blog Guy, I have a question. I see there is a new strip of options at the top of each blog item, offering your readers a chance to “share” it via Facebook, LinkedIn, Digg, Twitter, etc. Are you guys the first to do this?

Um, not necessarily.

USA/

Oh. Tell me about it anyway, because I don’t get out much.

Well, it’s a chance for me to reach a much wider audience. It could lift my monthly readership numbers from the dozens to say, maybe even the hundreds.

USA/Look, here’s the neat thing about sharing. Research shows that lots of people find my┬áblog very irritating, to the extent that it would ruin their day if they accidentally read any of it.

That’s where you readers come in. With the punch of a button, you can recommend this crap to the yokels who keep poking you and sending all those stupid surveys on Facebook, for instance. See, now you can use this blog to make their lives a living hell.

Ma, Dwayne’s dressin’ like a sissy again!

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montera combo 490

Blog Guy, you write a lot about bullfighting. What’s the stupidest thing about that so-called tradition?

It’s a close call, but one thing that comes to mind is the montera.

SPAIN/The Mitsubishi? Really? Bullfighters drive mid-size SUVs?

No, that would be a Montero. The montera is the beanbag hat they wear.

The idea is to make the most obnoxious face humanly possible as they adjust the beanbag just before the bullfight. Here, look at these guys above. Who would you root for?

And the next Angelina Jolie is…

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USA/

Blog Guy, I read your item on Angelina Jolie this week, and it made me wonder who the next “perfect” woman will be.

JAPAN/If you look at Angelina’s sensuous, supple lips, big eyes, mannish hands, and that smile that says, “I could kill you with a pencil,” and put them all together, who do we have?

Tanks for nothing…

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THAILAND/

“This is General Johnson, come in Alpha Dog. Are the assault vessels in place? Roger that…

“Affirmative, we’re all set for the attack. I want you to deploy all 1,000 of our T-69 amphibious tanks and begin our surprise invasion. Push ‘em into the water, boys, now!

What’s that all over your BUTT, dude?

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TAIWAN/

I have to love this. Here are shots from an international tattoo convention, and the captions inform us the aim is to “promote the industry and garner positive thinking towards tattoos.”

Oh really? How does that work, exactly?

tattoo back this 300“Okay dudes! Drop your pants and let the world see your colorful tattooed butts, so we can promote the industry and garner some more positive thinking!

Sexy new car for the well-heeled?

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INDIA/

Blog Guy, I drive to my office, but I can never find a parking space. I know you’ve blogged in the past about innovations in urban parking, but I wonder if there have been any more advancements I can look forward to.

shoe car vertical 160As a matter of fact, yes. A company in India is about to market a car shaped like a shoe, so yo don’t even have to find a space. You just pull up, get out and wear it into work!

What happened to your neck, Blog Guy?

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Blog Guy, I read a Reuters story about proper attire for the office, and it’s kind of confusing. Like whether your boss lets you wear shorts and flip-flops, and stuff like that. Can you tell us about the dress code for your office?

lucky dog 180Well, I write my blog from my own home, so that’s very different. If my boss were to walk through my door on a surprise visit here I could just shoot him with a taser, no questions asked.

Can they say that $#*! on TV now?

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dad says 490

Blog Guy, I’m curious about an upcoming fall CBS television show. You know the one I mean?

No, and I don’t give a dollar pound asterisk exclamation, either.

So you DO know the one I’m talking about! “$#*! My Dad Says,” on CBS.

Don’t poke that shark in the eye, Lamar

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jaws publicity girl 490

As some of you know, a string of shark sightings in recent weeks has rattled swimmers in Massachusetts, and is evoking memories of the “Jaws” movie hysteria.

Officials in the Cape Cod town of Chatham have warned beach-goers to stay close to shore after “numerous” sightings of great white sharks.

Eft, eft, eft wite eft…

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RUSSIA/

Okay Colonel Johnson, thank you for appearing before the Senate Defense Committee with your blueprint for a strong military in our new breakaway republic.

Now, as I understand it, all of your emphasis is on strong teeth and good oral hygiene for our troops, is that correct?