Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, you seem to be in a foul mood today. Is anything wrong?
Don’t even get me started about my morning. It was the WORST!
When I got to my office I realized I had left my key at home, and I didn’t want to go all the way back to get it.
What did you do?
The usual stuff. First I kicked the door a few times, really hard, but it wouldn’t open.
So then naturally I piled up some old newspapers soaked in gasoline and started a fire to try to burn up the door, but still nothing.
Willikers! Then what?
Then I found a huge honking concrete block and hurled it repeatedly at the door until it finally caved in and I got inside. It was a nightmare!
Blog Guy, what’s the scariest thing you’ve seen this week?
This photo, showing some dude walking barefoot on the razor-sharp blade of a giant knife.
Ah. You mean because he might slash his feet, right?
Oh, right. You mean because he’s high up, and he might lose his balance and fall off and smash on the ground?
Blog Guy, you said the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop was having some kind of a gala formal affair where you give out awards and stuff. What happened with that?
It’s coming. We only just found our Prom Queen, Hulga, the perfect young lady to reign at this great event along with Lamar, our longtime Goofmeister.
Quick quiz: This photograph shows…
a) A family enjoying dinner out at Ye Olde Benihana of Camelot.
b) A scene from an upcoming episode of The Tudors, when that sniveling Culpepper gets what’s coming to him.
c) A very early version of the Cuisinart, in a 1562 Williams-Sonoma catalog. Like everything else, it cost $299.95.
Your timing is perfect. The International Self-Pranking Olympics are now underway in Germany. All those cruel, thoughtless practical jokes that dumbasses usually pull on other people, they do to themselves at these Olympics.
Blog Guy, you’re pretty good about updating us on trendy new foods, so we don’t waste our time on Tex-Mex and other stuff that’s no longer in style. So what’s the latest?
Well, I just ate at a hot new restaurant in in Singapore where they serve nothing but butterflies to eat and drink. You can see what the full dinner looks like here.
CUT! Okay, let me see the director RIGHT NOW!
Lamar! I gave you $160 million to make an enchanting live action children’s movie based on that enduring song, “The Animal Fair.” Then I come down here two months into the shoot, and I find this crap?
Relax Boss. It’s all in the song.
Look here at the lyrics, the last line: “The elephant sneezed and fell on his knees, and what became of the monk?” See?
Hey Blog Guy, what’s with the big grin on your face?
Great news. My Facebook Blog Network just hit 10,000 members, which is a pretty big deal. I guess that’s just about everybody on the Internet.
Hearty congratulations, Blog Guy! What did you do to celebrate?
We had a gala formal party under a tent. People strutted in their finery.
There were goat races. Sumo wrestlers lined up to high-five me. The Eagles played live and there was a telegram from Mamie Eisenhower…
All you people who think I make up everything in this blog, check it out.
A real story, and much better than anything I could invent.
It turns out that over there in Denmark, several hundred employees at the Carlsberg brewery have stopped work for a couple of days to protest a company decision to limit beer drinking at work to lunch breaks.
I’ll let that sink in for minute. Some of the workers are cheesed-off because they can ONLY drink at lunch, instead of whenever they want, like they used to.