Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

When the top brass goes to Europe…

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Hey Blog Guy, we could use some of your famous travel advice. My brass ensemble is going to Paris, and we….

Are you out of your mind? Don’t you know the French can’t stand brass instruments? You could be arrested before you play a single note.

We’re well aware of the dangers, but we want to change their attitude. We plan to go to the Eiffel Tower and play the William Tell…

No! That sort of Overture is out of the question! If you tried a stunt like that, they’d be playing “Taps” for you. On the cello, of course.

How did you find our little museum?

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Blog Guy, you look exhausted! What’s wrong?

This happens every year. As we gear up for the summer season at the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, folks come out of the woodwork to audition, desperately trying to be part of the new show.

Wow. Where do all these goofy people come from?

I just told you, they come out of the woodwork. Please try to pay attention.

Ah, right. But can’t Lamar give you a hand in going through the audition photos?

Your 40,000 comments are important to us…

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Blog Guy, I see in the trade publications that your blog just hit a new milestone.

We have trade publications? Yes, I hit TWO milestones last week. I got my 30,000th follower on my Facebook Blog Network, and incredibly, I got my 40,000th reader comment, more than any of our other blogs.

Six ways I know the world isn’t ending

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Okay, everybody I know has asked me about these nutjobs who say a huge earthquake will shake the world today, sweeping true believers to heaven and leaving others behind to be engulfed in the earth’s destruction over a few months.

It isn’t happening, trust me, and here are the six ways I know that for a fact:

How much for the Unabomber’s chemistry set?

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Blog Guy, I’d really like to own something that belonged to a famous dumbass, but I couldn’t afford that autograph of Jesse James that went for $51,000. Is there a more affordable dumbass sale going on?

I’m sorry, but genuine dumbass stuff is expensive. For example, the U.S. Marshals Service, the folks who sold Bernie Madoff’s underwear a few months ago, is auctioning off personal stuff belonging to Ted Kaczynski.

This gunman goes into a bar, see…

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I’m not sure when our state lawmakers  began competing to pass the most wacky weapons laws,  but it’s getting pretty hard to keep up with them.

To recap, in recent days we’ve seen both Utah and Arizona vote to create official state firearms. Meanwhile, lawmakers in Maine voted to legalize switchblade knives, but only for one-armed residents.

Beach Blanket? Bingo!

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Blog Guy, summer is almost here, and once again we’re faced with that annual problem. You know the one.  

You put on an unsightly 200 pounds over the winter and you’re embarrassed to be seen in a swimsuit?

Want a margarita in a dribble glass, sir?

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Blog Guy, I know you’re blogging from vacation, and some of your readers have been debating where you might have gone.

Thanks for your interest. I’m at a world-famous practical joke camp for adults.

How I spent my vacation…

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Blog Guy, you never take vacations, do you? I notice you blog every day of the year. That’s quite a pace!

Yes, but honestly, blogging isn’t very hard work. I’m not in danger of dropping over from exhaustion or anything.

Stoke the boiler, boys, we’re baling basil!

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Blog Guy, what’s the latest on your brother, Basil? We know he used to be an expat export expert, and the last we heard, he was playing mandolin in Mandalay.

Oh, Basil left the folk music scene. Now he operates heavy farm equipment. He owns a baler in Switzerland.