Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

A spoonful of stupid helps the medicine go down

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Blog Guy, I enjoy seeing lots of extremely stupid people. Any tips on where I should go?

Stupid people seem to be plentiful everywhere, but you might especially enjoy the city of Gaziantep, in Turkey.

Really? How stupid are they over there?

Hall of Fame stupid, judging from a news story yesterday.

Criminals there have been knocking on doors dressed as doctors, and handing people pills to take. The pills turn out to be heavy sedatives, and the crooks burgle the homes.

No way!

Yup. The local police dressed as doctors just to see if it really worked, and at 86 of the 100 households they visited, people swallowed the pills immediately.

Karaoke, or torture? There’s a difference?

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Hey Blog Guy, I haven’t seen you around the neighborhood for days. Are you okay?

Yes, thanks for checking. I don’t go out during National Karaoke Week, which is going on now.

Getting down with ducks?

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CHINA/

Citizens, you all know why we’re here. We need to do something about these killer ducks that have been preying on humans. Look, here’s a grisly photo of their latest victim.

I believe Sheriff Lamar has been searching for these vicious killers. Lamar?

china ducks crop 260That’s right, Mayor. I’ve been tracking the killer ducks on wet ground.

Museum gets a goofy facelift?

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goofy antonio this 490

Blog Guy, you haven’t told us anything about seasonal plans for your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop. Are you gearing up for something huge?

goofy new combo 340We are indeed, but right now, Washington, DC is overflowing with tourists here for that Cherry Blossom Festival.

Another case of yellow urinalism?

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COMMERZBANK/STATEAID

You know, Lamar, I have to tell you, when we hired Acme Architects to design our new office building, we thought we were getting the very best.

urinal crop 160You did? Really? We never said that. Actually, we’re down near the bottom. Is there some problem?

Just pay no attention to that guy…

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LIBYA/

Okay sir, we hired your consulting firm, flew you over here from the U.S. in first class, and bought you a big steak dinner.

It’s time to share your military expertise. For example, at this crucial road checkpoint here, what should we be doing, Mr. – I’m sorry, please remind me of your name?

Waldo shows his true stripes…

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GEORGIA/

Okay publishing staff, we’re here to start promoting the latest volumes in our wildly popular “Where’s Waldo?” series of children’s books.

waldo combo 160Cripes, Boss, MORE Waldo books? Haven’t we run that into the ground? It’s getting easier and easier for kids to spot that guy in a red and white striped shirt!

Gives whole new meaning to “air guitar”

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RUSSIA/

Blog Guy, you know that city in Siberia that you like to call Wackytown?

Yes, Krasnoyarsk. It is the goofiest spot on earth.

I was wondering, do they have a space program?

flying guitar vertical 240Indeed they do, and it’s a strange one.

No! Why doesn’t that surprise me?

The folks there wanted to be the first to shoot a guitar into space, and yesterday they succeeded.

A guitar? What’s the name of this program?

“Stairway to Heaven,” I believe.

Hmm. And where did the guitar launch director sit?

At the instrument panel, of course.

Did they have their own launch pad?

You bet, the Stratocaster.

Okay, even you couldn’t make up stuff this stupid. Is rock music getting popular in Krasnoyarsk?

Can I pull the plug during a shutdown?

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COLOMBIA/

Blog Guy, this federal government shutdown has me really worried. I had hoped to get rid of my do-nothing son-in-law, but I wonder if those Government Death Panels will be answering their phones.

Not to worry. Essential services like the military, airport security and Death Panels will continue to operate.

Stilettos making a comeback?

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I just can’t make up stuff like this. I sure wish I could, but I can’t.

switchblade book 320Maine lawmakers have approved legalizing switchblades for people with one arm.

Our story says this will keep one-armed people from having to open folding knives with their teeth in emergencies. Really.