Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Darn, I’d forget my blouse if it wasn’t…

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preoccupied head 490

Lamar, did you manage to get us some more cut-rate models for the fashion show?  I know you’ve saved money in the past by using the criminally insane, the extremely sullen, zombies….

RUSSIA/This time I have a real good feeling, boss. My shrink gave me some names of women in his Forgetful and Absent-Minded Therapy Group, and they look pretty presentable.

So? How does that help us, Lamar?

Don’t you get it, Boss? They do the fashion show for us, they immediately forget about it, and we don’t pay them anything!

I don’t know about that, Lamar.

Trust me, Boss, look, the show is starting now. Oops, I guess that first one absent-mindedly forgot to stop zipping up before she covered her face…

Earn big money with a familiar face?

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, I notice you wrote about a Joe DiMaggio lookalike yesterday.

The lookalike game intrigues me. Can you provide some details, so I can see if I might want to pursue a career at that?

faux wedding vertical 220Sure, but who do you look like?

Me? Nobody yet, but I figured I’d take some courses or something.

Well, I think it helps if nature gives you a head start.

Like see, the people in these photos here look like Prince William and his fiancée, Kate Middleton, so they’re in for a great ride, eating free fried chicken at places that comp meals for members of the royal family.

The toughest health club in the world?

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EU-SUMMIT/

Sir, thanks for stopping by for a tour of our health club. We’re very proud of our facilities.

EU-SUMMIT/Is there anything you’re especially looking for in a new gym? Spinning classes? Free weights? Yoga?

Is the cavalry back with those doughnuts?

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BRITAIN/

EMILY! How is our checking account overdrawn? What the hell did you buy?

Shut your cake hole, Herb! That stuff is for household expenses, every bit of it. Maybe you need to get a raise down at the plant!

BRITAIN/Let me just see that budget, Emily. Food, gasoline, rent, cavalry, medical… Wait just a minute. Cavalry, $2.4 million for February? But what do they DO?

That’s quite an accent you have there…

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WEATHER HURRICANES NEW ORLEANS

Blog Guy, I need some of your job-hunting advice. I was working on a résumé, but then I stopped.

RIBEIROOh, you MUST resume your résumé. Why did you stop?

I needed lunch. I’m eating a clear beef broth and some healthy Japanese soybeans my mom sent.

Tired of rooting through your purse, girls?

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invisible purse 490

 

Okay marketing staff, as you know our regular fashions aren’t selling very well, which is why we’ve started inventing NEW articles of clothing and creating a demand.

see through purse 240You will recall that Lamar designed two such items, the Rube Tube and the Skank Top, which were runaway bestsellers. Lamar, what have you got to follow that up with?

Another tragic thinking mishap…

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UKRAINE-FASHION/

Lamar!

What is it this time, Boss?

There’s smoke coming out of that model’s hair out there on the runway! What’s wrong with her?

UKRAINE-FASHION/I guess that’s my fault, Boss. She was looking for something to read backstage, so I showed her those Reuters Analysis and Opinion things, on my iPad.

Okay, who’s got my pajama top?

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male models combo 490

Lamar, get your butt into my office! Is there some kind of labor unrest out there? I don’t like that.

I’m all over it, Boss. Some of the male models are kind of skittish over security concerns.

Why, you two-timing son of a….

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SWITZERLAND/

Blog Guy, it happened again today! The time changed overnight and I forgot to change my clocks, so I missed an important meeting. What do other people do to prevent this?

Most people I know just wear two wristwatches at all times, set one hour apart. So whether it’s Daylight Savings Time or not, one of them will still be correct.

No no no, I’m a rocket man…

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RPG instructions490

Okay troops, listen up!

Some of you are new to using different kinds of rockets, so they’ve asked me, a Professor of Grenadery, to teach you some things.

rocket firing 340Hey private! You wanna stop using your rocket to pound in that tent stake and come over here?