Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Scarlet women prowl the catwalk…

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fashion redheads 490

Lamar! Get your butt into my office!

What is it THIS time, Boss?

What is the deal with those models out there in today’s fashion show? Their faces are all bright red!

fashion red face combo 340But Boss! Your memo said specifically you wanted redheads, so I replaced the lights in the dressing room mirrors with tanning lamps. I thought it worked out pretty well.

Lamar, you simpleton, I meant they should have red HAIR! If I had known you were this dense I would have worded it more carefully.

I hope there wasn’t anything else in the memo that you didn’t understand. As I recall, I also asked for some models with smoldering eyes…

Really? You’ve had no professional training?

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fashion insane this 490

Lamar, I’m at the end of my rope. We have to find cheaper models for our fashion shows. We’ve tried zombies, dead people, puppets….

FRANCE-FASHION/What we need is a group of women who will make their own outfits, do their own hair and makeup, and strut the runway, all for free.

Welcome to Brassieres 101, ladies…

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USA/

Okay ladies, thank you for coming to the Victoria’s Secret “bra launch” today. We’re sure you will enjoy your new purchases.

bra launch crop 260You were wise to sign up for this class on how to wear a brassiere, a must for any young woman going out into the world.

The worst car feature ever invented?

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GERMANY/

Every so often an idea comes along that is so awful it deserves a place in the Bad Idea Hall of Fame. Like there was the toilet timer that made sure workers don’t spend too much time in the bathroom, and of course there was that hotel bed-warming service.

GERMANY/But now, along comes an idea that makes those others seem positively brilliant.

We have photos showing “hands free driving” in a car that is controlled by the driver’s brain. I’m not making this up.

Buddy, can you hand me some paper?

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AUTOSHOW-GENEVA

Lamar, where the heck are you? I told you to meet me at the Motor Show.

AUTOSHOW-GENEVAI’m here, Boss. I’ll find you in a few minutes. I stopped in the men’s room by the Renault display.

Really? I just went by there and I didn’t see a men’s room.

I’m not surprised, Boss, it turns out in Switzerland they just put the stalls right out in the open. Those crazy Swiss, huh?

Welcome back to Stupidville

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Blog Guy, you’ve written about your brother Basil, who used to be an expat export expert and now plays mandolin in Mandalay. But do you have any other siblings?

alice dallas 240Sure, there’s my sister Alice. She lives in Dallas.

Does Alice have a nice house in Dallas?

Nice? It’s a palace!

A palace in Dallas for Alice?

She even has a sculpture in the garden.

A sculpture? Of what?

I’m sorry to say, it’s a phallus.

Sorry? You harbor malice toward Alice’s phallus in Dallas?

Well, perhaps I am callous.

Alice and Dallas 220But I thought you also had a sister named Susie.

Yeah. The floozy. She carries an Uzi…

I have to go now, Blog Guy. You just keep on talking.

 

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Actress Alice Braga poses at the premiere of her new film “The Rite” in Hollywood, January 26, 2011. REUTERS/Fred Prouser

The Oscar for Best Picture goes to…

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AUSTRALIA

Blog Guy, the Oscars are this weekend. I hope you’ve stockpiled lots of movie photos so you can cash in on the extra Internet traffic.

You bet I have. I’m loaded for bear and ready to roll, as you can see from this picture at the top.

Best of all, there’s nothing to tuck in

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Hello Mr. Henderson, I’m Jimmy. I’m here to take your daughter out.

FASHION-SPAIN/What? My outfit? It’s the latest thing. I bought it right off the floor at a major fashion show.

Yep, this beauty is part of the Fall/Winter collection. I suppose I should add a hat during the winter.

“We almost always land”

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Blog Guy, you haven’t written much recently about your secret career with Basler Turbo, that business in Wisconsin that converts DC-3 planes to be used for specific jobs.

Well, it so happens that right now I am very busy designinbasler airlines patch 340g a successor to the incredible Basler BT-67 airplane.

The Fall of the House of Ushers?

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, what’s wrong? You’re looking very puzzled. Disoriented. Confused. Perplexed. Dumbstruck. Flustered. Even more than usual.

usher vertical 180Yes, I’m very bothered by this top photo. The caption says these are ushers at the Royal Opera House, in London.