Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

That’s like a quarter of a million, isn’t it?

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SPAIN/

Blog Guy, you’re looking positively jubilant today. Why are you rejoicing?

I’ve made the big time. My blog’s Facebook Network hit 25,000 members yesterday.

milestone combo 340CONGRATULATIONS! There must have been one HUGE celebration when that happened.

Indeed. Washington was all ablaze with glory. The very heavens seemed to have come down. Rockets flashed to and fro in fiery lines, and banners waved above the tumultuous throng…

Let me stop you right there, Blog Guy. That sounds very familiar…

milestone arkansas 320You’re quoting a  newspaper story from April 14, 1865, describing Washington DC’s celebration over the end of the Civil War! It didn’t really happen to you yesterday.

There’s something about a man in uniform

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OSCARS/

Quick quiz: The resplendent full dress uniform seen above, with blue lapels, gleaming buttons and rank stripes on the sleeves, will be worn by…

oscars raccoons 260a) the commander of the Sri Lankan navy.

b) members of the Raccoon Lodge.

c) Britain’s Prince William at his upcoming wedding.

d) waiters at a party for the Oscars.

Don’t feel bad, this one fooled me, too. These are indeed specially designed uniforms for waiters at the Governors Ball, part of the Academy Awards festivities.

Flouting the health warnings?

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frozen lips 490

Blog Guy, congratulate me. I just enlisted in the military. I’m a flute player, so I’m guaranteed a gig in a marching band.

No shooting, just fluting?

Durned tooting!

flute 320That’s great. So which branch of the service did you join? Army? Air Force?

Wanna turn the wipers on, Blog Guy?

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Blog Guy, summer is right around the corner, you know. You and the missus got big vacation plans?

The usual. A nice road trip.

EGYPT/

Not another road trip! In that rusted-out car with no windshield? The one that’s up on blocks in your yard?

Yeah baby, I used to be famous!

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BRAZIL/

Psssssssssst! Blog Guy, it’s me!

elephant man japan 180Wally? My old roommate from the Witness Protection Program?

No, you dimwit, I’m The Elephant Man! I was famous when my movie came out, back in 1980, and I’d like some of your fashion advice. I want to start hitting the singles bar scene, but I need a hip wardrobe.

Ah, that empty oat bag over your head and the stupid floppy cap aren’t making it any more, huh?

Three great inventions we really need…

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THAILAND

Blog Guy, apart from writing textbooks and making airplanes, what do you do with your time?

I dabble at inventing. Someday one of my ideas will catch on, and that will be my ticket out of this dump.

How would you like to meet this bozo?

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elephants zimbabwe 490

Blog Guy, whatever happened to your Dumbass of the Month? You haven’t given the award for some time now.

I know, sorry, but I am in a position to name one for February.

ELEPHANTSReally? But it’s only February 3.

Yeah, but no one is gonna beat this guy.

It seems some hunter whose dream was to shoot an elephant has sued a travel company after it sent him to a part of Africa where he said there were no elephants to be found.

The one guy I can always depend on…

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, can you settle an argument with the harpsichord player in my baroque ensemble?

prince charles vertical 220Baroque ensemble? Harpsichord?  Well at least this should be a little more high-class than most of the disputes I get.

Try walking with more Bounce, girls!

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SPAIN/

Hey Sweetie, have you gone to the laundromat yet this week?  I really need some clean underwear.

fashion washing vertical 260Sorry Honey, I haven’t done that. It just creeps me out, now that they’re doing live fashion shows from that place!

Are you man enough for extreme karaoke?

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karaoke ice 490

Blog Guy, I need some of your famous travel advice. I’m leaving soon on the dream trip of a lifetime, to Asia, and I’m going there for the usual reason.

CHINA/To see the Great Wall? The Forbidden City? Mount Fuji? Angkor Wat?

No! Unlimited karaoke! I hear they have it everywhere over there, but I want to make sure I’m up on the latest developments. I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself while singing in public.