Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Are you Laverne or Shirley?

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Blog Guy, please settle a bet I have with my neighbor’s plumber.

Oh, here we go again. Always settling bets.

What are the top three most prestigious beauty pageants in the world? I figure Miss Universe and Miss America for sure, but what’s the third?

cyclone combo 240That would be Miss Cyclone, no question.

Miss Cyclone?

Yeah, The Cyclone is the legendary roller coaster at New York’s Coney Island. A young lady named Angie Pontani was just named the 2010 Miss Cyclone. In fairness, I think she was also Miss Cyclone in 2007, 2008 and 2009.

I had no idea. What do they look for in a Miss Cyclone?

Just judging from the photo, I’d say they go for the chick with the fewest visible tattoos. In Angie’s case, that appears to be two. Of course, I have no idea what she’s got under those black gloves.

What do you think it’s like, being a roller coaster queen?

It has its ups and downs.

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Angie Pontani, the 2010 Miss Cyclone, stands next to the roller coaster at Coney Island in New York, April 1, 2010. REUTERS/Shannon Stapleton

How very proud his parents must be!

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tattoo bangkok 490

Well Mr. Johnson, we want to thank you for applying to be a U.S. Secret Service agent.

You seem to be just the sort of candidate we look for. Short hair, well-dressed, clean cut, nice smile.

Can’t he just wear a turtleneck?

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We try to keep you up to date on really stupid stuff  going on, and you should know about this. A neo-Nazi gang member has gone on trial for murder in Florida, and a controversy has arisen over some tattoos on his face and neck, notably a swastika and an obscene word.

tattoo combo 500

No, sorry, that’s not the stupid part. It seems his lawyer argued that the tattoos, which the guy got AFTER his arrest, could prejudice jurors, who might form hasty opinions about a fellow just because he had a swastika carved on his neck.

Pierce yourself for peace…

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Blog Guy, I’m sick and tired of the violence all around me, and I want to do something to protest it. What’s a good idea?

Well, you could get a tattoo, like these people in Cuba protesting violence.

No, see, you don’t understand. Why would I go through something involving pain if I want to protest violence?

A very sobering experience?

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On the topic of life imitating art, this guy in the bottom photo is straight out of one of my favorite short stories. I’ll be pretty impressed if any readers can identify it.

But enough of that. I hate to admit it, but I guess I just don’t get out enough.

Learing at a super-hot actress!

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Yo Blog Guy, you know that hot actress Megan Fox? She’s SO fine! Can you run some pictures of her for me?

Sorry, sir, this isn’t that kind of a blog. We don’t run exploitative photos of human beings just because they are “hot.” My readers have loftier pretentions.

Irony is a “Life is Pain” tattoo

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Polizeihauptwachtmeister, round up the usual suspects for questioning!

Right away, lieutenant! Of course, six of them got away while you were saying Polizeihauptwachtmeister, but…

Never mind that, Polizeihauptwachtmeister! This man here! Have you sentenced him yet?

Don’t do anything abnormal, dear!

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Now don’t panic, readers. Appearances can be deceiving. I know it LOOKS like these folks have hooks piercing their skin, but in reality…

Oh, sorry. It turns out that IS what’s going on here.

“Bye Brenda, you have fun with your friends at the tattoo convention, and be careful!”

Sorry, I must have dozed… ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

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Sometimes a news story is so jam-packed with stupidity that it just overflows with creamy stupid goodness.

A teenager goes into a tattoo parlor. She says she wants three stars tattooed on her face, but ends up getting 56, which would be a whole lot more than three.

This may sting just a bit, Ma!

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Blog Guy, my mom is turning 60 next month. My sisters and I want to give her something really special. Any ideas?

Sure. Do what many families are doing these days. Have Mom tattooed.

You mean a cute little tattoo just to show she’s still hip? Like on her back?