Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Great science projects for your family…

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Blog Guy, my daughter, Julie, has to do a school project involving transportation. We were thinking about making a little cardboard sled.

A cardboard sled? Are you a chump? Don’t you care about getting little Julie into a decent college?

But she’s only six.

Six? It may already be too late! Look at what other families are doing in the homemade transportation department.

These folks above, in China, are finishing up a miniature submarine which will be able to dive to 65 feet and spend 10 hours under water.

You’ve been upgraded to Gaddafi Class!

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Blog Guy, I saw some photos of fugitive strongman Muammar Gaddafi’s private plane, taken at an airport in Tripoli. I’m surprised you didn’t blog about it.

Look, there’s something of a conflict of interest here. As you may have noticed, the plane was a Basler BT-70, built by “my company” for Gaddafi.

So that’s basic cable, huh?

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Lamar, we are very eager to see the new cable car system you’ve designed for our highest mountain, nearly 10,000 feet. May we take off the blindfolds now?

Absolutely. If you look through your binoculars toward Zugspitze, you’ll see the sleek, shiny cable cars of…

This restroom ain’t for resting, pal…

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Blog Guy, last year you wrote about a business that was putting timers in their toilets, so that the lights would turn off after 10 minutes, even if the employees weren’t finished.

I wondered if anybody else is experimenting with ways to get people to spend less time in the bathroom?

Cashing in on My Good Name?

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Blog Guy, I know you’re busy designing the next generation Basler BT-70 aircraft, but I may want to buy a plane before you have a chance to test your new model.

Test it? What do you mean by that?

Never mind. Anyway, the current Basler BT-67 seems very cool and just what I need, but I saw the list of options and I have a few questions.

Presenting the Caribou Smoker Royale!

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Blog Guy, you’ve been very good about helping us find solutions to those tough household chores in the past, and I have some more questions.

Gosh, all I ever really do is point you in the direction of expensive Williams-Sonoma gadgets.

For dummies who read this blog…

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Blog Guy, you run a fairly low-tech operation, right? I mean, there’s nothing complicated about doing a humor blog.

You couldn’t be more wrong. We do consumer testing, focus groups, FDA monitoring, all that stuff.

If Lego made shoes for women…

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Lamar, you said you had a hot new fashion design to show me. I’m skeptical after that nutty lingerie thing a few days ago, but I’m listening.

Here it is, boss, behold the future!

This is just a pile of crap, Lamar. Plastic lumps and rubber bands and stuff.

To the untrained eye, sure. But it’s actually a flexible modular shoe design which allows a woman to make 256 different footwear combinations!

Honeydew you need a new phone?

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Blog Guy, I guess cellphones are pretty much a universal sight now. I mean it’s the same thing in every part of the world, isn’t it?

Not everywhere. Over in Jordan, for instance, people still make their calls on huge melons.

Rewriting Jane, an Austen-tatious move

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Blog Guy, I read that a handwritten draft of a Jane Austen book that was never published just sold for $1.6 million at auction. The story said it was an unfinished work. She’s my very favorite author!

Yeah, I know all about that. I was the anonymous telephone bidder who bought the draft. I’m eating barbecue ribs and reading her manuscript right now. It’s not bad.