Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Does Obama have your back?

Photo
-

Blog Guy, you know a lot of inside Washington stuff. I hear President Obama is very savvy as far as technology is concerned.

OBAMA/Not really. He tends to prefer doing backberry messages, which are very low-tech.

Backberry? You mean BLACKBERRY, right?

No, I  mean backberry. Look at this photo. He writes a note on the back of his personal assistant, who then finds the person who’s supposed to get it, and turns his back so they can read it.

Wait a minute. I’m sure I’ve read that Obama has a BlackBerry and uses it a lot.

Well, there’s your problem right there, Mister!

Photo
-

We have a video report about the Thai government deciding not to buy any more of these expensive bomb detectors because they say the the things only work 20 per cent of the time.

detector 1 280“Great news, men! We’re passing out your new bomb detectors, and I’m happy to announce that 20 of you 100 guys will get to go home to your families tonight!”

Hey, you’re getting your prince all over my binoculars!

Photo
-

BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, I keep hearing that Prince Charles has failing eyesight. That’s sad. Is this true?

goofy crop vertical 200Yes, as you can see by his special eyeglass prescription, Charles….

I’m sorry, Blog Guy, I’m  not going to keep being your straight man for a picture this dumb. Now, I want to know what’s really going on here.

I used to be a burglar, but I got laid off….

Photo
-

It’s a very sad day for crime. It turns out an influx of cheap electronic goods from Asia has prompted burglars to turn to other crimes such as robberies and muggings, since their once honorable profession doesn’t pay anymore.

burglars 490

“Gradually, the prices of such goods has fallen so low as to they almost have no resale value. If you can buy a DVD player for 19.99 pounds, it’s simply not worth stealing,” one expert is quoted as saying.

Oh, the humanity!

Photo
-

Lonnie, we’ve been very happy with your progress here at the toy company, but we’d like you to go that extra mile for us, to show you’re a team player…

Sure Boss, you just tell me what to do! I’m there for ya!

chopper kiss 490

That’s the spirit! Now, we’ve developed a new model helicopter guided by remote control, and we want you to take some publicity footage just to show how perfectly safe it is. You know, let those razor-sharp rotor blades get right up to  your face.

Crazed grocery robot in lima bean bloodbath!

Photo
-

Hello Blog Guy, I am Susie, your personal robot. I will be assisting you in your grocery shopping today. What can I fetch for you?

Geez, Susie, you’re funny-looking.

robovie 490

You are no George Clooney your own self, Blog Guy….

Let’s look at my list here. Go to Produce and bring me some tomatoes and potatoes….

Honey, your torch is out on the porch!

Photo
-

Blog Guy, a lot of times I hear politicians talk about the “torch-bearing peasants” to describe the mob mentality. They don’t really have those any more, do they?

Good question. Actually, torch mobs seem to be making a comeback, as you can see in these recent photos of people protesting something, somewhere.

Hey, that dude’s got a huge one!

Photo
-

Looking in on our coverage of a big motor show in Germany, I see something called the “Gunbus,” described as “the biggest motorcycle in the world.”

How big is it?  It’s over 11 feet long, which means it would be sort of like enjoying the freedom of the open road in a stretch limo without the body attached.

Brand recognition to die for…

Photo
-

Welcome to the story that cannot be satirized. It’s already THAT good.

It seems the designer of the Kalashnikov rifle was just named a “Hero of Russia” by Russian President Dmitry Medvedev, who lauded him for creating “the brand every Russian is proud of.”

Please remember, I am not making any of this up.

As far as global recognition goes, Mikhail Kalashnikov’s name would be right up there with Death and Hemorrhoids, if those were actual people’s names.

Test drive the new Inferno!

Photo
-

Blog Guy, bring us up to speed on the Detroit automobile industry stuff. Remember, the government took over some carmakers and they were going to run the companies and stuff, but then I got really hammered and forgot to pay attention for a few months.

I believe the U.S. government version of the new Detroit models have just been unveiled in an elaborate Detroit ceremony. I saw pictures.