Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Eugene, please have a seat…

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Say, Blog Guy, I’ve been wondering about that guy who’s sort of a living legend in your blog. You know who I mean.

Of course. You’re talking about none other than Eugene “Toilethead” Johnson.

Is it true that there is only the one photo of him, and after that he just vanished?

Yes. I’ve used that single photo eight times in my blog, an all-time record. I have detectives out scouring the world for Eugene. That’s a lot of money down the drain.

This restroom ain’t for resting, pal…

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Blog Guy, last year you wrote about a business that was putting timers in their toilets, so that the lights would turn off after 10 minutes, even if the employees weren’t finished.

I wondered if anybody else is experimenting with ways to get people to spend less time in the bathroom?

Can I borrow your toothbrush for my feet?

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Great news. We have another one of those serious etiquette columns that appear to be aimed at folks who were raised by neanderthals. Early neanderthals, not the more evolved ones.

This particular column tells you how to behave if you are a house guest. If you still need to be told this stuff, then good luck ever getting invited anyplace.

High times on the old Marijuana Plantation

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Okay, here’s some interesting news. Turns out soldiers in Mexico have just discovered a huge “marijuana plantation” in the middle of a desert.

The thing covers 300 ACRES, which means the Shuttle astronauts have probably seen it from space, and yet it came as a real surprise to these local troops.

Have more beer and take your mind off it…

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Lamar, can I talk to you over here for a minute?

Sure, Boss. I guess you’re pretty happy with the client beer party I set up. I think they’re having a great time.

Boy, they’re really knocking back the brews. They’ve been drinking for three hours solid and going through keg after keg. But it’s worth it to keep customers happy.

Another case of yellow urinalism?

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COMMERZBANK/STATEAID

You know, Lamar, I have to tell you, when we hired Acme Architects to design our new office building, we thought we were getting the very best.

urinal crop 160You did? Really? We never said that. Actually, we’re down near the bottom. Is there some problem?

Hit Man Camp? Pass the lime bag, slimebag!

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MEXICO/

Blog Guy, what are some things to watch for if you suspect you’ve chosen the wrong summer camp?

Good question. This would be one example. The photo caption here says these things are latrines at a “drug hit men training camp.”

Buddy, can you hand me some paper?

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AUTOSHOW-GENEVA

Lamar, where the heck are you? I told you to meet me at the Motor Show.

AUTOSHOW-GENEVAI’m here, Boss. I’ll find you in a few minutes. I stopped in the men’s room by the Renault display.

Really? I just went by there and I didn’t see a men’s room.

I’m not surprised, Boss, it turns out in Switzerland they just put the stalls right out in the open. Those crazy Swiss, huh?

Hey, save some ice water for us!

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CHINA/

Blog Guy, I’ve noticed that as a travel blogger you write mostly about overseas toilet facilities for your American audience.

Yes, that’s the number one concern among folks planning trips overseas or to red states.

All dressed up and no place to go…

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SINGAPORE/

Dammit Lamar, you’re hopeless!

What is it this time, Boss?

We’re supposed to be the best event planners in the area, and this is our biggest job yet, doing the 2011 convention for the International Stilts Association.

We’ve got 12,000 people walking around on 10-foot stilts, and what did you come up with for toilet facilities?