Oddly Enough Blog

From the design house to the outhouse…

January 13, 2011

porta fashion models 490

Lamar, now that our fashion show is underway, please tell me you managed to keep costs down. I hope you didn’t throw away a lot of money on extravagances and luxury doodads.

How Blog Guy made the Naughty List

December 21, 2010

USA/

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

night before smoke 220The stockings were waiting, but what do you think?

Santa decided to go for a drink!

“My life really sucks!” he told bartender Steve,

“It seems like I’m working on EACH Christmas Eve!

“My marriage is finished, my wife says I’m weird,

“She don’t understand me, she don’t like my beard!

“I think I’ll try freedom, I’ll give it a whirl!

“Perhaps I’ll end up with a cheerleader girl!

USA/“I’m totally serious! It isn’t a joke!

“I’ll tell you the best part, but I need a smoke!”

Then Santa went outside, now Dasher, now Dancer,

Too hammered to read the big warning of cancer,

The stump of his pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath

His cheeks were like roses, his eyes all a-twinkle,

He lurched to the men’s room, and stopped for a tinkle

GERMANY/As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,

He demanded another martini, dry

Then I heard him exclaim with his mouth like a potty,

“That fricking Blog Guy has been TERRIBLY naughty!

“I swear by my reindeer and each little hoofy,

“He’s been running photos of me that are goofy!

“I know who’s been good, and I know who has not,

“And on Christmas, that Blog Guy is opening squat!”

night before cheer 490

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Top: Participants in SantaCon Boston 2010, a gathering of people dressed as Santa going from bar to bar, drink at the Asgard Pub in Cambridge, Massachusetts, December 18, 2010. REUTERS/Brian Snyder

Did you gals get enough coffee?

November 27, 2010

FASHION/

Lamar, get in my office, right now! You’re the one who arranged for the dressing room and backstage facilities for the models here at the fashion show, right?

So you guys work out, or what?

November 3, 2010

RUSSIA/

Say, you guys are kinda cute! You come here often?

bodybuilding bar face 1 200Eeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

I see. Yeah, I’ve heard this is a bodybuilder bar, is that what you boys do?

Imagine there’s no toilet, it’s easy if you try…

September 2, 2010

Blog Guy, the last sign of the approaching Apocalypse you told us about was singer Justin Bieber publishing his memoirs, but I believe there was another one this week that you overlooked.

Putting the pee back in Presley?

August 18, 2010

elvis bathrooms 1 490

Blog Guy, you’ve written a lot about toilet facilities overseas, a topic of great interest to Americans planning to travel. Anything else we should be on the lookout for in foreign lands?

Somebody eatin’ garlic hummus in here?

July 12, 2010

PALESTINIAN/

Today we pay another visit to the growing sport of Bathroom Bodybuilding, more popularly known as “Pottybuilding.”

Travel tips, or just more yellow urinalism?

July 12, 2010

lots of toilets 490

Blog Guy, I’m an American planning some overseas travel. As you know, the main thing we look for in foreign countries is good toilets. What can I expect to find?

Toilet timer to eliminate waste?

March 30, 2010

Now and then an idea comes along that is so bad, it deserves a place in the Bad Idea Hall of Fame. Maybe you remember such brainstorms as the hotel bed-warming service, the “marriage hunting bra,” the plan to get civil servants to mingle with the public

Facilities for the fancy people

March 24, 2010

USA/Blog Guy, I read with interest your post about cities to avoid because their public restrooms are so bad.