Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Hello? Is this Gene’s Latrines?

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Honey, I don’t feel like scrubbing the dirty ring out of our bathtub again. Can you run out and get a new tub?

But Sweetie, it’s Sunday night! Where can I get one at this hour?

Head for the open air bathroom market. Stop at Bub’s Tubs! They never close.

But Darling, how would I get it hooked up in time to use it tonight?

Are you an idiot? You never hooked up the LAST tub! We’ve used the same dirty water for two years! That’s why we have this foul, slimy, cockroach-playground of a ring in the first place!

Heck, let’s remodel our whole damned bathroom tonight! Take the station wagon and get everything we need. Go to Mason’s Basins, Gower’s Showers, Ray’s Bidets…

Does this make my butt look inky?

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Good morning, comrades and fellow citizens of Cuba, this is the 8 a.m. radio news!

Blah blah blah blah may experience some shortages blah blah blah blah.

Blah blah blah good news, plenty of barbecue sauce and canned squid at great prices, so stock up for your summer squid barbecues!

Leave that damned hatch open!

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Good news, International Space Station residents!

Your fellow astronaut, Koichi Wakata, will be doing an interesting new scientific test aboard the station: “Odor-Free Underwear!”

Excuse us, Houston, but how will he do that?

Good question, ISP. Koichi will go without changing his underpants for more than a week, and we’ll see if you end up pushing him through the main hatch and locking it.

You did WHAT in the overhead bin?

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After paying for their aisle seat, blanket, food and a cocktail, air travelers may need to set aside a little cash for… well, you know…

There’s no delicate way to put this. The chief executive of Europe’s largest budget carrier said today that Ryanair might start charging passengers for using the toilet while flying.

Kids, it’s PEE-licious!

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Okay, so this organization in India plans to launch a new soft drink made from cow urine. I am not making this up.

Which of course means that right now there’s a marketing firm brainstorming ways to sell this stuff.

Boost me up on your shoulders!

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Keep it coming, Blog Guy – the more photojournalism advice I can get, the sooner I’ll get my dream job.

What do you want to know today, Grasshopper?

I’m wondering about ethics and privacy. Are photojournalists expected to violate basic standards of dignity and decency? How far should we go to get THE news shot?

Polly want a crapper?

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Hey Blog Guy, I love your blog, but I’ve often wondered something.

Thanks. What do you wonder?

Why don’t you have more pictures of birds going to the bathroom?

Your question is interesting, and it illustrates why my home address doesn’t appear on my blog.

But just for you, here is a video clip of a parrot that uses a toilet instead of pooping on my car, like every other bird does.

Death, where is thy sting?

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A number of readers wrote in following my recent post about the guy who holds the world record for the largest number of scorpions in his mouth.

While many people would rather not put scorpions where they chew their beef jerky, they seem eager to go for some other record in the scorpion category.

Please, somebody! Help me take this thing off!

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fashion-headgear-140.jpg
Quick quiz: the fashion model seen here…

- has the Mother of all Toothaches.

- shows how you can make a swell hat from toilet paper.

- is just learning to tie a turban.

- has a pathological fear of being killed freakishly, like Isadora Duncan.

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fashion-headgear-300.jpgA model displays a creation from the Ralph Lauren Spring 2009 collection during Fashion Week in New York, September 12, 2008. REUTERS/Lucas Jackson

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Two, four, six, eight, who we gonna constipate?

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Blog Guy, you mentioned advertising deals for some of the Olympic athletes. Any idea who will be the first one to do a commercial?

There’s a lot of secrecy of course, but I have spies at the big ad agencies. It seems a number of women weightlifters are already trying out for a laxative commercial, and I’ve even obtained some of the audition photos.