Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

How I spent my macho vacation…

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Blog Guy, I need some of your famous travel advice. I’m a fairly dimwitted guy who never really grew up. Life hasn’t gone my way, and I need an experience to make me feel like I’m somebody.

So you’re looking for something you can brag about on Facebook, no matter how shallow it is, to keep your pathetic imitation of life going for another year?

You bet! All I have left now are shabby, contrived experiences!

This is your lucky day. We’ve just published a list of “extreme holiday adventures.” And by “extreme” I think we just mean very, very sad.

Bring ‘em on!

Okay, how about a “mountain safari,” in a helicopter whizzing right past lofty peaks that other people have actually climbed. Our story says it seats only two guests, and is “a downright romantic trip, allowing you to score major points with your girlfriend while conveniently involving superslick machinery.”

Seeing Libya, from surface to air!

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Blog Guy, I could use some of your famous travel advice. With Libya being in the news lately I’d love to go see it, but I’m concerned about getting around. I’m not even sure how to get there. I’ll be starting my trip in Mexico, so I need to get…

From the Halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli? No problem. Libya is already building up tourism, and offers fast, efficient ways to get from place to place, using the thousands of  unused missiles littering the country.

Repeat after me, “Fill the bag with money!”

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Blog Guy, you know that odd city in Siberia that you call Wackytown? I’d like to visit it on one of your organized tours, but I’m wondering how many people there speak English?

You’re talking about Krasnoyarsk. I do know they do have English Language classes at a high security prison camp.

So that’s basic cable, huh?

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Lamar, we are very eager to see the new cable car system you’ve designed for our highest mountain, nearly 10,000 feet. May we take off the blindfolds now?

Absolutely. If you look through your binoculars toward Zugspitze, you’ll see the sleek, shiny cable cars of…

The easiest job on earth?

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Blog Guy, I’ve just graduated from college, and I would like some of your famous career advice. Can you help me?

If it doesn’t take too long. What are you looking for?

I want the easiest job on earth. Let me make it clear. I want to live someplace wonderful, and have a job that takes no energy whatsoever. I want a job I couldn’t possibly screw up if I tried.