Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Hey Blog Guy, I’m takin’ a vacation to Kiev soon, and I need your travel advice. I like to hang out at singles bars. I guess they’re pretty much the same everywhere?
No. In Ukraine, the singles bars are run by women, who make their own rules.
That sounds kind of hot! So what should I expect when I make the bar scene?
Be prepared to reveal as much flesh as possible, and have total strangers judge you like a side of beef. While they’re looking you over they will ask mindless questions, like “What’s your sign?” and “Do you come here often?”
You still don’t get it. It’s their bar, their rules. They’ll be wearing white lab coats and camouflage trousers.
And stiletto heels?
No, combat boots.
That sounds awful! Why would anybody subject themselves to disgusting treatment like that?
Blog Guy, recently you blogged about that Oktoberfest thing in Germany – you know, the party with all the beer and the women with those huge, uh, mugs? I saw a travel ad for it that said, “Come to Germany and get frisky!”
I think you misread that. It said, “Come to Germany and get FRISKED.”
I’m very reluctant to call anyone stupid. What? Yes, I HAVE used that word in 423 blog posts, which just goes to show my restraint.
So here is this story about “soccer legend” Diego Maradona. He checked into a weight-loss clinic in Italy, and finance police promptly seized his earrings to help pay off his back taxes.
Welcome back to a feature called What Year is this Again? where we offer items that lack humor, but do make us wonder if we have somehow gone back in time…
Children, welcome to third grade! I’m Miss Johnson. Let’s start with all of you writing a paragraph called “How I Spent My Summer Vacation!”
Irving liked exploring on his own, but at times he had the distinct impression strange characters were following and taunting him.
Blog Guy, I have a travel question. I hear about tourists going to faraway places and waking up in a bathtub with a kidney missing. Should I be afraid?
Only if you’re going to Vermont.
What about foreign countries? That’s where it seems to happen most.
Look, that’s pretty much an urban myth.
PRETTY MUCH? What does that mean?
Well, there is the infamous Hefei Subway, in China. Smart tourists know not to get on the Meatville stop heading in the direction of Slaughtertown. By the time it arrives, well…
Okay group, the Rome Tourist Board hired us to crisis manage this horrible PR problem in the middle of tourist season. Their security guards are having a job action at one of the most popular attractions, the Colosseum.
Getting those protesting guards to leave the Colosseum could turn very ugly, but we’ve come up with a plan.
Blog Guy, our family is going to Berlin for a vacation. Are there any museums we don’t want to miss?
That’s easy. Just go to any no-sign door and knock.