Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Copy that, Copycat!

Photo

From Japan comes news that the luxury brand Hermes will soon provide a new luxury helicopter service between luxury downtown Tokyo and luxury Narita Airport.

This is great for folks who hate making the long trip by taxi or bus, unless you’re bothered by the $790 one-way fare. Plus I’m sure they expect you to just give them $800 and say keep the change.

Here’s the thing. I lived over in Asia for years, and the first thing they do with any luxury item is make cheap knock-off copies. Very soon, copycat Hermes choppers will be offering to carry tourists to the airport for two bucks.

As with any knock-offs, some of them will work but some will flop off the buildings and crash immediately. Meanwhile, the Hermes Police will start blasting the knock-offs out of the sky, which will shorten some trips.

Presenting the butt-naked diet?

Photo

People often say to me, “Bob, how do you stay so thin?”

Of course they’re just being sarcastic and cruel, but it happens I am on an unusual diet these days, and expect to be ready for a Cape Cod beach vacation by November.

My secret? I’ve gone on the “Live with saggy naked people diet.”

The best of a very stupid month…

Photo

I have to admit July was kind of a goofy month for this blog, and I found that no matter how close I got to the edge, lots of you were right there with me, clicking and reading.

That’s right, you folks played along with the soldier and the melons, the nose-picker, the horrible swim-up bar, even, amazingly, the real honest-to-God snake oil salesman.

Cut faster, Doc, here comes a big wave!

Photo

Blog Guy, I’ve helped raise contributions for one of those fantastic floating hospitals, the ones that take operating rooms to distant places to help sick people. Why don’t you ever write about those?

Well, I’m sure some of them are wonderful, but some I’ve seen first-hand have been a bit disappointing. Like the one in this photo.

The worst swim-up bar EVER!

Photo

Blog Guy, I normally love tropical swim-up bars. There’s nothing like paddling over for a refreshing cocktail.

But this week I’m staying at an Italian seaside resort, and I can’t figure out their system. The drinks were already made, but they pulled them away when I tried to grab one. Not only that, they used these long poles to beat me senseless.

I want more angst, Babu! Action!

Photo

Blog Guy, I just got back from a trip to Europe and I have to complain about the border security guys who examined our luggage. What idiots! I mean, a baboon could do a better job!

It’s funny you should mention that. Over in England, they’re training baboons to do that very task.

It ain’t exactly Baywatch…

Photo

Dear Mom and Dad,

Well, I finally made it to Bali, my dream vacation, and it’s everything I ever hoped for!

I’m writing this postcard from exotic Kuta Beach, soaking up rays, sipping a lychee martini, ogling the handsome lifeguard with his sexy combat boots and assault rifle, and thinking about…

You know what would be really, really embarrassing?

Photo

Blog Guy, I’ve been following your coverage of that San Fermin festival over there in Pamplona. So who’s winning?

Sadly the bulls always lose in the end, but I must say they’ve had a pretty good couple of days. In a four-minute running of the bulls today, several people were injured and one runner was killed.

Don’t wait for me out on The Ledge

Photo

Many readers write in to ask, “Bob, where are you going on vacation this year, because we want to make sure we don’t run into you?”

My advice is, visit The Ledge, opening today at the Sears Tower in Chicago. If you’re out on The Ledge and some other guy is there, he won’t be me.

Two MILES to the nearest bathroom?

Photo

Blog Guy, I’m planning a vacation in New York City. I know you’re a cosmopolitan traveler who used to live in the Big Apple. Any inside advice?

Use the bathroom before you arrive. There are never enough to go around when you’re doing tourist stuff.

Really? That’s it?

Don’t laugh. Looking through our photo file from yesterday I see that singer Mariah Carey seems to have run into this problem.