Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, I need some of your famous travel advice. I’m a fairly dimwitted guy who never really grew up. Life hasn’t gone my way, and I need an experience to make me feel like I’m somebody.
So you’re looking for something you can brag about on Facebook, no matter how shallow it is, to keep your pathetic imitation of life going for another year?
This is your lucky day. We’ve just published a list of “extreme holiday adventures.” And by “extreme” I think we just mean very, very sad.
Bring ‘em on!
Okay, how about a “mountain safari,” in a helicopter whizzing right past lofty peaks that other people have actually climbed. Our story says it seats only two guests, and is “a downright romantic trip, allowing you to score major points with your girlfriend while conveniently involving superslick machinery.”
Blog Guy, I’ve signed up for one of your tours to Krasnoyarsk, that Siberian city you call Wackytown. I’m very excited!
Cool! Which tour will you be joining?
Blog Guy, I could use some of your famous travel advice. With Libya being in the news lately I’d love to go see it, but I’m concerned about getting around. I’m not even sure how to get there. I’ll be starting my trip in Mexico, so I need to get…
From the Halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli? No problem. Libya is already building up tourism, and offers fast, efficient ways to get from place to place, using the thousands of unused missiles littering the country.
Maybe I can help. I just saw a story saying hundreds of vampire enthusiasts are planning a vacation cruise on the the Zuiderdam, tailored to their interests. It’s called “Vamps at Sea.” Maybe you should try it.
Blog Guy, you know that odd city in Siberia that you call Wackytown? I’d like to visit it on one of your organized tours, but I’m wondering how many people there speak English?
You’re talking about Krasnoyarsk. I do know they do have English Language classes at a high security prison camp.
Blog Guy, I’m looking for some of your sage career advice. I enjoy travel, working with animals, and maybe a little danger. Any ideas?
Have you considered the glamorous world of snake smuggling?
The usual. Ladies’ hosiery, probably some duct tape, and, you know, snakes.
Lamar, we are very eager to see the new cable car system you’ve designed for our highest mountain, nearly 10,000 feet. May we take off the blindfolds now?
We may have hit the acme of absurdity. We should plant our flag and turn back.
Let me explain. I work at home, and I am interrupted daily by automated calls trying to fool me in some way. I don’t believe it should be legal to intrude on privacy like this, but I don’t make the laws.
Last week, I answered a robotic call and heard, “Congratulations! This household has been selected to receive an absolutely free vacation cruise! Press one for more information, or two to be taken off the list.”