Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

You’re kidding me, right? Right?

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Blog Guy, everybody knows you give the best travel advice. I’m out of my mind, like totally nuts, and I’m looking for a good vacation spot.

Have you been to that viewing platform I wrote about in the Bavarian Alps?

Of course. Opening day.

How about The Ledge at the Sears Tower in Chicago?

Been there.

That walkway over the Grand Canyon?

Done it four times.

Jeez. Hmmm. Are you willing to go to Canada?

Sure! I did mention that I’m nuts, right?

Then you should try this new tourist attraction at the CN Tower in Toronto, where you can traipse around an open-mesh metal walkway almost a quarter of a mile above the ground. There’s no guard rail.

Whoa! There’s nothing holding you?

Yeah, there’s a thin strap, for whatever that’s worth. I know some folks who did it, and they’re crazy, too.

Thank you, Blog Guy! That sounds like just what I’m looking for! What should I wear?

Hey look! I think it’s money!

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Blog Guy, I’m going on vacation soon to that brand-new country, South Sudan, and I need some of your famous travel advice. Should I convert my dollars here, or wait until I get there?

I think you’ll have to do it there. They only introduced their currency a couple of days ago.

A loco motive for doing this?

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Hey Doctor, it’s me! Earl! I’m calling from out here on the railway line where you sent me. Are you positive this will make me better?

Yes Earl, we’re on the right track.

You say the electrical energy from the rails will cure me, but how do I get it from the train into me?

The easiest job on earth?

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Blog Guy, I’ve just graduated from college, and I would like some of your famous career advice. Can you help me?

If it doesn’t take too long. What are you looking for?

I want the easiest job on earth. Let me make it clear. I want to live someplace wonderful, and have a job that takes no energy whatsoever. I want a job I couldn’t possibly screw up if I tried.

Happy Father’s Day, you’re goin’ fission!

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Blog Guy, I need some suggestions for a Father’s Day gift for my dad. He loves to fish, but he seems to have all the equipment he needs.

How about sending him on an exotic vacation to a great gourmet fishing detonation?

Did that damned tiger escape AGAIN?

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Blog Guy, I know you’ve been to other countries, and I have a question. Do their sports teams have mascots like ours do?

There are some, but I believe they are hunted down and shot, as you can see in the photo here. As a result, it is not a very popular career path.

Just another blood-sucking ski resort?

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Blog Guy, you know that city in Siberia that you like to call Wackytown? Didn’t you say you organize tours there, so your readers can see for themselves?

Yes, Krasnoyarsk is the goofiest spot on earth. Maybe you’d like to sign up for my upcoming ski resort holiday there.

When the top brass goes to Europe…

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Hey Blog Guy, we could use some of your famous travel advice. My brass ensemble is going to Paris, and we….

Are you out of your mind? Don’t you know the French can’t stand brass instruments? You could be arrested before you play a single note.

There’s a HoJo’s at 20,000 feet…

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Blog Guy, I see you’re finally back from vacation. So now can you tell us where you really went?

Yes. My pal Apa Sherpa and I went up Mount Everest. It was his 21st time, so it was a big deal.

A spoonful of stupid helps the medicine go down

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Blog Guy, I enjoy seeing lots of extremely stupid people. Any tips on where I should go?

Stupid people seem to be plentiful everywhere, but you might especially enjoy the city of Gaziantep, in Turkey.