Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

French kissing? Call ze Love Police!

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FRANCE-PENSIONS/

Blog Guy, I need some travel advice. My wife and I want to go someplace really romantic, where folks are free to be very much in love. Any suggestions?

Of course. I’m an incurable romantic, too. I’d say Paris. City of lights, city of love…

Look at this photo above. A young couple, very much in love, and the urge to express their feelings hits them right in the middle of a busy street. It’s just like that romantic Beatles song.

FRANCE-SARKOZY/BRUNIMichelle?

No. “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?

Anyway, you try doing that most places, and cars will just run right over you. Won’t even slow down. Don’t even get me started on what happens if you try it in downtown Hong Kong. But in Paris, the Love Police swoop in, stop traffic on a busy street, and let them enjoy the moment without being bothered.

A museum for the well-red?

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british library combo 490

Blog Guy, I need some of that expert travel advice that put this blog on the map.

BRITAIN/I’m planning a trip to Britain, over there in England or wherever it is, and I want to make sure I see everything! At the top of my list is the world-famous British Museum.

Faster than a speeding locomotive…

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Hey Blog Guy, you used to set up test races and stuff like that for your readers, so they could bet on what would beat what. Do you still do that?

Indeed. It’s one of the many fine services that make this the blog you can’t live without.

Why is our pilot wearing a life jacket?

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As a part of the international fashion industry press corps I would never poke fun at the designers, models, creations or glitzy shows. I know which side my thin-sliced sprouted whole grain toast is not buttered on, or however that expression goes.

FRANCE-FASHION/But let’s all think about this one.

Here, from a collection this week at a big fashion show, is a “creation” which looks for all the world like a commercial pilot’s uniform. It comes complete with a life jacket, the kind they show you at the start of every flight.

We’re off to see the lizard…

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Blog Guy, I need some of your famous travel advice. I can get an AMAZING deal on a week at a five-star luxury beach hotel in a Russian city on the Black Sea. What do you think? Is there a catch?

RUSSIA/

Yes, that would be Snake by the Lake Lodge, and I’m familiar with the scam. They lure tourists there and then feed them to the reptiles that roam the grounds.

Welcome to our new Viking Slave Class!

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Blog Guy, I’m planning some vacations and I wonder what I can look forward to in the world of airline travel. I figure it can only get better, right?

Sure, if that’s what you’d like to believe. But you might want to look at a new airline seat configuration, the so-called “standing seat,” just unveiled at a conference on aircraft interiors.

Shoppe ’til you droppe?

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Blog Guy, you haven’t updated us on your  Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop in Washington, DC, for some time. Last we heard, it was poised to take off. So what’s new there?

goofy hayden combo 490

Lots! HUGE stuff! Our expensive marketing consultant wants us to change Doughnut Shop to Doughnut Shoppe in the name, to make it classier.

Is a plane that different from a forklift?

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Blog Guy, I’m planning a dream vacation to China, but I’m worried. I read that China has found that nearly 200 pilots have falsified their resumés . Please assure me that’s all been taken care of now.

pilotes rocket 300Of course it has. Some of those pilots lost their licenses.

Some? What about the rest of them?

It turns out they’re back on the job after “remedial action.”

Are you kidding me? They lied about their flight experience and now they’re working again? Why on earth were they hired in the first place?

Everybody must get droned!

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Blog Guy, I was interested in your recent post about music in Hell. You painted a nightmarish picture of nonstop accordions and bagpipes droning everywhere. Anyway, I have a question. Is there adequate parking in Hell, or do you have to spend all your time looking for a space?

SWITZERLAND/

“All your time” is a relative term in Hell. Taking a few centuries to find a good space isn’t going to inconvenience you in eternity, after all. Having said that, as you can see there is ample parking at most places.

We’re crashing? Can I still get Duty Free?

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There was an incredible story last week, which I can’t get out of my mind.

NBA/British Airways apologized after an emergency message was played in flight by mistake, warning passengers they might be about to crash into the sea.

The plane was bound from London to Hong Kong at the time. The cabin crew realized the error, and reassured the terrified passengers.