Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Guess they’re SERIOUS about no-smoking here!

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Kelli, it’s me. Bob. Yeah, we’re still on that vacation you booked for us, but listen, we have a question.

We’re in, uh, Yemen. Just got here, but I’m not sure we’re at the right hotel. Can you go online right quick and tell me what it says about this place?

YEMEN-RAID/

Right. Anything about swimming pool, or mini-bars, or high-speed wireless or complimentary breakfasts?

No? Well what special features DOES it claim to have?

yemen crop 260Fire extinguishers, fire extinguishers, fire extinguishers? That’s all it says?

Top 10 signs that the end is very near…

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Regular readers of this blog know that we have taken on the heavy responsibility of pointing out signs of the coming Apocalypse.

PHILIPPINES/We do this as a public service. Why should you pre-pay for a vacation for a date when life as we know it will no longer exist?

Uncle Lamar’s very last Christmas display

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Blog Guy, my family and I LOVE Christmas light displays, the bigger the better. We’ve gone all over the world. Anyway, we feel like we’ve done it all, and we’re getting jaded. Is there anything we may have missed?

WEATHER

Yes. Judging from a photo I just found from flooded Venice, Italy, there is about to be an astounding live action display. Have a look.

Heartwarming holiday story restores my faith in man…

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Blog Guy, I recall from earlier years that you suffer from a serious problem at Christmas?

Yes, I have too much holiday spirit. It makes me giddy, and I’m no good until something brings me back down to earth, like a very special seasonal story. You know the recent attack on Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, where a guy threw a souvenir statuette that broke two of his teeth and gashed his lip.

Do you see any sweat? My deodorant keeps me dry for hours!

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Blog Guy, the presidents of those Latin American countries like Venezuela and Cuba, do they make much money? I mean, can you earn a good living doing that?

Well, it’s tough, but most of them are allowed to supplement their government incomes with commercial endorsements, product placement, stuff like that.

You get one piece of carrion luggage…

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Blog Guy, I know you’re a respected travel writer and I need some advice. I’m going to Kazakhstan next week, and…..

Do you mind if I ask why?

That’s a funny story. I got it mixed-up with Scotland, and now it’s too late to change. So what’s the best domestic airline for getting from place to place over there?

Want some kaBob? Some kaDave?

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Blog Guy, I’m planning a trip to Russia soon and as a hotshot travel writer you know a lot about different cuisines. So like, in Moscow, is there anything I should avoid?

It all depends on your taste, but for the time being I’d steer clear of cheap kebab places.

I’ve seen the captain somewhere before!

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Blog Guy, my favorite actress is Marcia Gay Harden. Why isn’t she in more stuff?Because Marcia divides her time between acting and her real love, working as the captain of a luxury cruise ship.WHAT?We caught up with her this week in New York City, aboard the Carnival Dream, tooting the horn, dropping the anchor and stuff, charting a course for Louisville or someplace like that.Blog Guy, are you out of  your fricking mind? She’s just there to promote a new cruise ship. That’s it.You know, that’s what I thought at first, too. But look at the caption. It has one of those NOT FOR SALE FOR MARKETING OR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS warnings on it.So, why would they bring in a famous actress and then not be able to use the pictures for anything? No, I’m sticking with my original guess, that she’s the captain.Blog Guy, do you always just “guess” at the so-called news you print here?No, not always. Sometimes I just make it up completely.

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Actress Marcia Gay Harden dons Carnival Dream Captain Carlo Queirolo’s hat while touring the ship’s bridge in New York City, November 12, 2009. Harden presided over ship’s naming ceremonies for the new ship. REUTERS/Ray Stubblebine/ Carnival Cruise Lines/HO) FOR EDITORIAL USE ONLY. NOT FOR SALE FOR MARKETING OR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Getting away from the rat race?

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Blog Guy, I see you’re Mister Travel Blogger these days. What’s the hot new trend in leisure travel?

These days, lots of readers come to me and say, “Bob, we’re tired of staying in luxury hotels when we travel. We would prefer to experience what it’s like to be a small rodent.”

Have fun, will travel…

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Blog Guy, I just read a great Travel and Leisure magazine article titled “Top Travel Websites of 2009,” and do you KNOW what I found?

Yes. My blog is mentioned there, and by the magazine’s Executive Editor, no less.