Blog Guy, you’re an expert on police operations around the world, right?

Okay.

So I was wondering, what are the very best and very worst police departments? I’m counting on you.

The worst may be these police in Mumbai.

Check out this photo. Looks like all of them are groping for bullets while balancing their rifles between their knees, with the barrels pointed up towards their faces.

It seems like a Deputy Barney Fife moment if ever there was one. I have another photo taken 20 seconds later, but it’s a bit grisly to use here.

And the very best unit?

I’d have to say the Dominican Republic Police Department, which appears to be made up entirely of models in skimpy bikinis. I believe the officer saluting here is a captain.

She’s a COP?  Man, I’d like to cop…

Stop right there! This is a sophisticated blog, Buster, so just keep those cheap pool hall lines to yourself!

We can’t turn you down! Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: Policemen prepare to fire their weapons to pay homage to their fallen colleagues on Police Commemoration Day in Mumbai October 21, 2009. REUTERS/Arko Datta

Below: A model displays a creation by Puerto Rico designer Ecliptica at a fashion show during the Dominicana fashion week in Santo Domingo, October 20, 2009. REUTERS/Eduardo Munoz

More stuff from Oddly Enough

In American pop culture, If you want to point out that we’re not in Kansas anymore and that things are happening way beyond your understanding, you only need to repeat a tiny snippet of sound, and people still get it.

It was exactly 50 years ago tonight that Americans tuned in to get a first glimpse at a TV show called “The Twilight Zone.”

Rod Serling, the genius behind the series, paved the way for amateurs like me, letting us cheapen his concept but still make the point that some pretty weird doo-doo doo-doo is still going down.

Here is where I’d like to insert my own recollection of that distant October evening, as a small boy gratefully learning I wasn’t alone in seeing a strange world around me.

What a cosmic eye-opener. To paraphrase Serling, “You’re traveling through another dimension - a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s a signpost up ahead: your next stop: Northside Indianapolis!”

Yes, I’d like to share that memory, but I can’t. I wasn’t watching the show.

Instead, like most Americans I was glued to an average private eye series called ”77 Sunset Strip.”

It would be years before I appreciated what I had missed. And “The Twilight Zone,” so much a part of our culture today, was a ratings disaster back then.

It defies comprehension, huh? “Doo-doo doo-doo, Doo-doo doo-doo…”

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: A televised Rod Serling is projected on an illuminated ball in the air at the unveiling of a new attraction, “The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror,” at a Disney theme park in 2004. REUTERS/Fred Prouser

Below: “Twilight Zone” DVD cover

More stuff from Oddly Enough

As an amateur anthropologist, I’ve spent years studying leisure activities in unfortunate parts of the world where - okay let’s be blunt - they don’t get American cable television.

I’ve found that this lack leads local cultures to settle for pitiful pastimes, like singing dingos and sofa races.  But nowhere are the ravages of TV deprivation as pathetic as they are in a place I like to call Spain.

Look at these genuine photos from this week. Competitors attempt to tear the head off of a killed goose. The winner gets the goose.

I swear, I am not making up this goose thing.

“Lonnie! Leggo of that goose head! Our New York cousin sent us some tapes!

Look! Here’s Dog the Bounty Hunter, Pimp my Ride, Ice Road Truckers,“  “Californication.” All kinds of quality stuff! Come on, Lonnie!”

“That’s okay, Ma! You watch it! I’ve just about got this goose head off, and then I’m heading for the bullfights!”

“Oh my poor Lonnie, I worry so about you. You’ll ALWAYS be a Spaniard!”

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

A competitor attempts to tear off the head of a killed goose attached to a rope, which is repeatedly raised and lowered into the harbor, during fiestas in the Basque fishing town of Lekeitio September 6, 2009. REUTERS/Vincent West

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, you know where you can find really loose chicks?

Uh, no.

New York City. Yeah, it surprised me, too, but lots of those women in stiletto heels smoking outside office buildings aren’t as prim and proper as you might suspect.

That sure surprises me, but why are you bringing this up?

Because amid this wanton cesspool of harlots and floozies and doxies, I met two angels yesterday.

As I understand it, they were actresses working on a show about religious groups trying to lure bad men and convert them, called “Sects and the City.”

Here, I’m sending you some photos I took with my phone.

That’s real interesting, hayseed. Now don’t bother me again until you have Kim Cattrall saving somebody’s soul.

Sex and the City Slideshow

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Actresses Sarah Jessica Parker (L) and Cynthia Nixon filming the upcoming movie “Sex and the City 2″ in New York, September 4, 2009. REUTERS photos by Lucas Jackson

More stuff from Oddly Enough

If you’re like me - and I’m sorry if that’s the case - then you get frequent queries like this one via Facebook. It seems that Debbie Somebody wants to put my birthday on her calendar. Is that okay with me, it asks?

Sure, I guess so. I mean, Debbie probably wants to remember to get me something nice, maybe even have a surprise party for me.

But then I get this next message, which says that in order order to do this, Debbie’s calendar application needs to pull my profile info, my photos, my friends’ info and “other content.”

I have to presume “other content” means my sex change medical records, my birth certificate from Kenya and that 1970 photo of me in a Nehru jacket.

Jeez Debbie, WTF?  Isn’t it possible for you to just grab a pencil and write, “Bob’s birthday, August 5,” on your wall?

I mean, if you watch TV, you remember that Tony Soprano whacked Big Pussy Bonpensiero for giving up a LOT less information than your application wants from me. Watch your back, Deb.

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Left: “Sopranos” actors Vincent Pastore (Big Pussy Bonpensiero) (L) and Frank Vincent in 2004 file photo. REUTERS

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Hey Blog Guy, whatever happened to the Three Stooges? Are they retired?

Not many people know this, but they moved to South Korea and ran for office, because we hadn’t yet started electing comedians to Congress here.

They’re in the Korean National Assembly now, wreaking typical havoc, as you can see in this studio publicity shot from “The Three Stooges, Seoul’d Out!”

Awesome! So what’s going on here?

I believe Moe just grabbed the microphone and shouted, “Mr. Kim has won the lottery! Is there a Mr. Kim here?”

Of course, hilarity ensues.

Wait just a minute! I thought it was the Marx Brothers who entered Korean politics!

Nope, they’re down in Honduras. Try to keep up.

Lawmakers beat the snot out of each other

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

A lawmaker of the main opposition Democratic Party tries to block a vice speaker of the National Assembly from passing controversial bills as security guards and the ruling Grand National Party’s lawmakers block him at the National Assembly in Seoul, July 22, 2009. REUTERS/Choi Bu-Seok

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Happy Father’s Day, Blog Guy! What’s the thing that makes you think most about fathers and sons on this special day? Baseball? Fishing?

Television. Especially classic TV, when Dad came home from the office in a suit and kept it on until bedtime, and maybe didn’t even take it off then. To me, nothing says father like a scripted dad getting paid to love his pretend kids.

This week, there was an event reuniting make-believe good TV dads and former child actors. But it ignored the more interesting bad dads, like Tony Soprano, Archie Bunker, Homer Simpson…

And there’s Bryan Cranston, a mediocre father in “Malcolm in the Middle” and now, in “Breaking Bad,” a dad who makes and sells major supplies of crystal meth. Gee Dad, you’re the greatest!

Don’t you think Tony Soprano was the worst-ever TV dad?

Are you kidding me? I guess you don’t watch “The Tudors.” Tony Soprano was a regular Andy Griffith compared with Henry VIII.

“Daddy, I’m leaving the castle to go Christmas shopping for mommy!”

Oh Elizabeth, I wouldn’t worry too much about that, heh heh heh!”

Be young again. Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: Actor Dick Van Dyke (L) of “The Dick Van Dyke Show” poses with his TV son, actor Larry Mathews, as they arrive for “A Father’s Day Salute to TV Dads”  hosted by the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences in Los Angeles,  June 18, 2009.

Left: (Rear L-R) Actors Bill Paxton from “Big Love,” Jon Cryer from “Two and a Half Men,” Patrick Duffy from “Dallas” and “Step by Step,” Stephen Collins from “7th Heaven,” Reginald VelJohnson from “Family Matters” and (front L-R) Dick Van Patten from “Eight is Enough,” Dick Van Dyke from “The Dick Van Dyke Show” and Michael Gross from “Family Ties.” REUTERS photos by Fred Prouser

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, can you clear something up for me? I saw photos of President Barack Obama and other major European leaders at the D-Day ceremonies in France, but there is one guy in a uniform who isn’t identified.

Yes, I noticed that, too. I believe he is Captain Kangaroo.

Excuse me? Why would Captain Kangaroo be with world leaders?

He was a war hero in World War II, fighting alongside actor Lee Marvin. So it makes sense.

Not really, since a) that Lee Marvin/Captain Kangaroo urban legend has been widely debunked, and b) Captain Kangaroo is dead and c) you’re a total moron!

You know, I think Captain Kangaroo was a NAVY captain, so it must be someone else. Maybe he’s the head of the military junta that runs Belgium. I’m glad I was able to help.

Trade up. Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above left: Captain Kangaroo

Left: France’s President Nicolas Sarkozy speaks with U.S. President Barack Obama as they walk with Britain’s Prince Charles, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown before a ceremony in France to mark the 65th anniversary of D-Day, on June 6, 2009. REUTERS/Eric Feferberg/Pool

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Oh my God!

Ralphie, what’s wrong?

That chick coming this way. That’s my Internet date! I recognize her from her picture, and I think she’s really pissed!

No! Nobody uses their real picture online! What does she think YOU look like?

I may have sent her a shot of Hugh Jackman. What the hell am I going to say to her? What if the OTHER stuff she told me about herself is true, too?

Like what?

Like she’s a Supreme Imperial Goddess from another galaxy and she’s here to meet guys to see if her people will let us live! She says she has SUPERPOWERS! Do you think she does?

Are you out of your mind, Ralph? Look at her! How could she NOT have superpowers? You think maybe she’ll just kill YOU and spare the rest of us?

Hamana-hamana-hamana

It’s free, and it should be! Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

A model presents the latest collection by Larisa Katz of the Netherlands at a show during Bahrain Fashion Week in Manama, May 30, 2009. REUTERS/Hamad I Mohammed

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, Since you seem to be writing about television these days, are you following the great Showtime series, The Tudors?

You bet! I don’t know how the writers keep coming up with these twists. How many wives do you think that dude is gonna HAVE before it’s over, anyhow?

Um, actually six, I think.

WHOA! SPOILER ALERT! STOP!

It’s not that much of a spoiler, Blog Guy. You can look it up. Right now he’s got Anne, the skanky German wife, but soon…

No! I know too much already! Look at the publicity photo below. It seems the next wife will be Queen Jumbo-Head, who will scare the living bejesus out of Henry, make his hair stand on end and give him the Hootchie-Koochie Eye!

Um, right Blog Guy, whatever you say. I must admit that IS a very revealing portrait. Most of Henry’s wives, you just see a head shot, if you take my meaning…

Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Give yourself a Tweat. Follow this blog at rbasler

Above: “The Tudors” publicity poster

Below: Fashion Designer Donatella Versace and Irish actor and model Jonathan Rhys Meyers pose for photographers on the red carpet for the annual White House Correspondents Dinner, in Washington, DC, May 9, 2009. REUTERS/Mike Theiler

More stuff from Oddly Enough