This is National Underwear Day. I know what you’re saying, “But Bob, I thought that was back in February!”

No, that event, which we covered, was Brazilian National Underwear Day, which is on a different day because they’re in the Southern Hemisphere or something, and also because they have a different word for underwear.

I still don’t know exactly what we’re supposed to do to celebrate, but if you haven’t changed your underwear yet in 2008, that would be a real good start. And don’t forget to take some underwear to the office today, for the traditional Undie Exchange.

Meanwhile, this blog has a lot of items with the underwear tag, and you will probably want to read them aloud during the festivities at your office. Here are my favorites:

What, you’ve never seen underwear?

Bra flag: from C to shining C…

Hey! Are you wearing Lollipop’s underpants?

Grab your undies, Little Joe! They got Pa!

No wonder the bride is blushing…

Above: Models pose at the main bus station in downtown Brasilia to celebrate Brazil’s National Underwear Day February 27, 2008. REUTERS/Jamil Bitta

Below: Models lift their traditional Bavarian clothes to show the ‘Oktoberfest’ underwear in Munich in a 2006 file photo. REUTERS/Michaela Rehle

More stuff from Oddly Enough

It’s time again for Things Maybe We Should Have Explained in a Caption, but Didn’t. Today, we see a photo of a lawyer holding a news conference in Yemen, except wait! He’s taking off his clothes!

Our caption does recognize that he is removing his trousers. It says he is explaining  inmate mistreatment, but it doesn’t say if these two facts are connected. For all I know, “news conference” is just a euphemism for stripping in Yemen.

It could be like, “We’re goin’ to Joey’s bachelor party tonight. I hope they have some chicks to put on a news conference for us!” Or “Mr.  Jones, the doctor will be in to see you soon. Please news conference yourself and wait on that examining table.”

This needs to be sorted out before some U.S. presidential candidate agrees to hold a “news conference” in Yemen.

U.S. lawyer David Remes, who represents 16 Yemeni prisoners held at the Guantanamo Bay military base in Cuba, takes his trousers off during a news conference in Sanaa, Yemen, July 14, 2008. Remes, who was explaining to journalists the mistreatment that the inmates say they are subjected to, called on the Yemeni government to push for the release of around 100 Yemeni citizens from Guantanamo Bay. REUTERS/Khaled Abdullah

More stuff from Oddly Enough

As you may have read, a woman is suing Victoria’s Secret because she says she was hurt by her thong panties when a metal clip holding a rhinestone flew off and hit her in the eye.

Personal injury is a very serious thing. Still, if this comes to trial she’s probably going to have to show how it happened in court. I can see lawyers, jurors and the judge all wearing industrial goggles to protect their eyes while the woman pulls on thongs every which way, trying to duplicate the sharp zing of flying rhinestones.

As a dedicated consumer advocate, I’ve tested odd claims before. You may recall Help me, I’m in a grape jam! If something bad happens, please explain to my family why I was found in a room full of extra large thongs, the walls pock-marked with staples and shards of imitation gems. They’ll want to know what happened.

More news about Victoria’s Secret

Model presents winged angel lingerie by Victoria’s Secret in 2000 file photo. REUTER/Fred Prouser

Brazilian model Adriana Lima poses with lingerie at a Victoria’s Secret store in 2004 file photo. REUTERS/Albert Ferreira

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Quick quiz: you can tell if a woman has class if you offer to buy her a glass of wine and she says…

a) Thank you, I’ll have a supple Margaux
b) Thank you, I’ll have an earthy Syrah
c) Thank you, I’ll have an overpriced Pinot Grigio
d) No thanks, hot-shot, I got me a brassiere full of cheap sweet red, right here!

Yes, female wine drinkers no longer have to bother with bottles and corks, they can just strap on this wine bra. And for guys, there is a wearable beer belly. It holds brew, and it also helps attract the kind of chicks that find a beer gut really attractive!

Of course, there may be that lingering notion that if you’re actually strapping alcohol onto your body maybe you have a little problem…

Belly/Bra Slideshow Other posts about drinks

A couple poses with the wearable beer belly (Bierbauch) for men and the wearable wine bra (Getraenke-BH) for women in Ismaning, Germany, June 19, 2008. REUTERS/Michaela Rehle

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, recently I was in Montreal, Canada, and I saw women’s brassieres hanging all over the place. You’re a sophisticated guy, so what’s up with that?

I think that must be the new Montreal flag. They didn’t want to use some variation of the maple leaf, because that’s already been done, and they liked the shape and variety of bras that are available. Also, I’m pretty sure the local hockey team is the Montreal Maidenforms.

You’re a moron. I don’t think you know anything about this at all. Plus, I believe you only ran this item so you could use that “C to shining C” headline!

Just shut up and salute the flag!

Related: Up to his ears in brazen brassieres?

Thousands of bras hang in the Old Port of Montreal, May 29, 2008. A local radio station collected 67,000 bras to raise awareness and funds for the Quebec Breast Cancer Society. REUTERS/Christinne Muschi

Blog Guy, with food prices soaring all over the world, I’m curious about whether any country has been able to keep farming costs under control?

Yes, Switzerland has succeeded in keeping its young men and women very interested in staying on the farm, working long hours for low wages.

Their secret is a new concept called “lingerie farming,” in which farm chores are done in skimpy outfits. So far it’s been very popular, although skeptics do wonder how well it will work during high-altitude alpine winters.

Meanwhile, these attractive farmers and farmeresses have been chosen to pose for a risqué farm calendar called “Swiss Cheese!”

More news about underwear

Models pose during casting for the annual Swiss Farmers Calendar in the village of Seegraeben near Zurich, May, 2008. REUTERS photos by Arnd Wiegmann

More stuff from Oddly Enough

This company keeps trying to design bras that do something extra. You may remember their chopstick bra or their shopping bag bra or their get-out-the-vote bra. The new designs never generate anything other than free publicity, which duh, I guess is the point.

So this time it’s a solar panel bra which can recharge your cell phone or iPod. Of course, the bra needs to be exposed to light in order to work, and a chick walking around outdoors in an exposed brassière may have more serious problems than a dead phone battery.

And that’s not even to mention what happens when GUYS start walking around in giant man-bras to charge THEIR phones!

Video report…

Related post: Doc Jocks: what’s wrong with YOU?

A model displays lingerie maker Triumph International Japan’s “Photovoltaic-Powered Bra” during an unveiling in Tokyo May 14, 2008. REUTERS/Yuriko Nakao

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, Where can I buy used underpants belonging to a major drug trafficker?

Boy, I wish you had asked me that yesterday! Down in Brazil they had a huge sale of stuff confiscated from the mansions of a Colombian guy named Juan Carlos Ramirez Abadia.

You mean Lollipop?

Yes. I can see you really know your drug traffickers. Anyway, thousands of people clamored to buy his stuff. I’m not sure how smart that was, though. Sure, Lollipop is spending 30 years in prison, but what do you think he’ll do if he breaks out, which can happen in Brazil?

Uh, track down his underwear and the filthy pond scum who bought it?

Bingo. That’s what I’d do.

More underwear postings and Lollipop sale slideshow

(U.S. State Department handout)

Underwear that belonged to Juan Carlos Ramirez Abadia, alias Lollipop, for sale among  confiscated  items. April 8, 2008.  REUTERS/Rickey Rogers

Ladies, you’ve all been there. An evening out, and you want something to defend yourself, but tasers and mace just don’t seem, you know, festive enough.

So, for times when you need to combine protection and fashion, what’s better than a six-foot snake? Nothing says, “Get lost!” like a big set of fangs dangling over your hand.

“Hey honey, you come here often?”

“No, me and my snake usually crush the life out of losers at the bar next door.”

Best of all, when some guy, as so often happens, holds up a rodent cage and says, “Wanna hold my pet rat?” Well, you’ve got yourself the best darned set-up in the history of Friday night comedy!

Related post: Fangs for the memories…

A model holds a snake on the runway as she displays a creation during Viva La Eve by Triumph at the Singapore Fashion Festival April 3, 2008. REUTERS/Vivek Prakash

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I’m very interested in how news is covered. Let’s say you hear about something new. How do you cover it?

Well, let’s take news from Victoria’s Secret. It turns out they’re going to be selling their swimsuits in stores, instead of just online and in catalogs. This is big news, because with summer coming, women are facing a shortage of places to buy beach wear. Some cities are down to their last four or five thousand shops!

I hear you. That IS a big story, especially with online and catalog shopping being so tough. So then, you would send a reporter to learn more about this and write a story, huh?

Are you stupid? No! We’d send a photographer to shoot the swimsuit models! Heck, another major news organization sent TWO photographers on this story!

Other posts about Victoria’s Secret

Victoria’s Secret model Marisa Miller (2nd R) poses with models during a store appearance at the Victoria’s Secret store in New York April 2, 2008. Victoria’s Secret announced they will be selling their swimwear collection in stores nationwide. REUTERS/Brendan McDermid

More stuff from Oddly Enough