Oddly Enough Blog

Stake Night on the Vampire Cruise?

September 6, 2011

Blog Guy, I know you’re a travel expert, and I need some advice. I am a vampire. I would like to go someplace where I don’t feel, you know, different.

Duchess, the sun never sets on the British vampire…

August 25, 2011

I’ll admit I was skeptical when I saw photos of the cast of yet another TV movie about Prince William and Kate Middleton. Did we really need this? I mean, I guess maybe if they found a dead ringer to play Kate… Nope, that’s not it…

Let the nightmares begin…

April 12, 2011

MEXICO/

Blog Guy, we need some of your parenting advice. We’re having problems with our small daughter.

Dracula down for the Count?

December 26, 2010

 

dracula 490

Blog Guy, please help settle a bet with my step-mother’s tattooist.

dracula poster 220Your step-mother has her own… oh, never mind, go ahead.

Could Count Dracula still be alive today?

No. These days, when there are countless cameras everywhere, somebody would have spottedĀ  him.

Another president taken down by vampires?

December 4, 2010

FRANCE/

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for attending the Insurance Salesman of the Year Dinner.

You here for business or pleasure, Mr. Stinky?

July 8, 2010

CHINA/

Man, the actual news is so goofy this week, I don’t even have to invent my own.

A dab of Kiwi wax on those Florsheims, Mr. Dracula?

June 8, 2010

vampire kit 490

Blog Guy, I need help. I have an overwhelming fear of being bitten by a vampire. What can I do to protect myself?

Stay out, hon, I’m eatin’ scampi!

April 15, 2009

Blog Guy, I need help. I’m a smoker, and…

Say no more, I’ll try to help you quit.

No! I don’t want to quit, I just don’t want my wife to catch me! How can I cover the smell?

Vampire chicks feast on yummy plague flesh!

March 12, 2009

Over in Italy, they found the remains of a female “vampire,” buried with a brick jammed between her jaws to prevent her from feeding on plague victims.

My blind date with Lady Death…

November 11, 2008

So, Patti, we finally meet! I must say you look different from your Internet photo, but I guess everybody touches up their picture a little, don’t they?