Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Maybe I can help. I just saw a story saying hundreds of vampire enthusiasts are planning a vacation cruise on the the Zuiderdam, tailored to their interests. It’s called “Vamps at Sea.” Maybe you should try it.
Where are they going?
Just where you’d expect for vampires. Great Neck, Little Neck, Throg’s Neck, Turtleneck…
I’ll admit I was skeptical when I saw photos of the cast of yet another TV movie about Prince William and Kate Middleton. Did we really need this? I mean, I guess maybe if they found a dead ringer to play Kate… Nope, that’s not it…
Let’s see, according to IMDB, the movie was shot in ROMANIA? Huh? Well, that’s different. Now I get it! These clever folks have added an element of horror to the story:
Blog Guy, please help settle a bet with my step-mother’s tattooist.
Your step-mother has her own… oh, never mind, go ahead.
Could Count Dracula still be alive today?
No. These days, when there are countless cameras everywhere, somebody would have spotted him.
You can’t hide that slick, sculpted black hair, that widow’s peak and swarthy visage. Trust me, we’d know about him.
Man, the actual news is so goofy this week, I don’t even have to invent my own.
You take for instance this true story about a truck driver I like to call Mr. Stinky, who got caught trying to smuggle 28 TONS of garlic from Norway into Sweden. Jeez, what do you suppose tipped them off?
Blog Guy, I need help. I have an overwhelming fear of being bitten by a vampire. What can I do to protect myself?
You could buy this handy 19th century Vampire Killing Kit that went up for auction in London today.
Blog Guy, I need help. I’m a smoker, and…
Say no more, I’ll try to help you quit.
Here is the very latest cover-up technology. You line a spare room with 4,600 pounds of garlic, then heat it to 120 degrees, permeating every inch with the aroma. You could light up a cow pie and nobody would notice.
Over in Italy, they found the remains of a female “vampire,” buried with a brick jammed between her jaws to prevent her from feeding on plague victims.
So, Patti, we finally meet! I must say you look different from your Internet photo, but I guess everybody touches up their picture a little, don’t they?