Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, I’ve just started a new blog, and I could use some advice from a veteran like yourself. What do you do if you want to get a lot of traffic, but you don’t want to work very hard for it?
Yes, but just between you and me. If you wanted to pander, just once, what would you do?
I’d go for a wide audience. I’d anchor it with a really good new photo of Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge. A close-cropped face shot, just oozing with charm.
Okay Lamar, the big day has arrived! For once, we’re spending some real money on supermodels for our fashion show, and you’ll see what a difference quality can make.
Now, did you teach them the subtle moves I asked for?
You bet, Boss. Two of them have mastered the intricate “Stand on one stiletto, lift the other foot and smile” maneuver.
Okay ladies, thank you for coming to the Victoria’s Secret “bra launch” today. We’re sure you will enjoy your new purchases.
You were wise to sign up for this class on how to wear a brassiere, a must for any young woman going out into the world.
Goofy was the operative theme for November.
Statistics for this blog show that readers flocked to items on a goofy breast examination scam, the first goofy look at a future queen and a strange choice for a new piece of art for the Louvre.
The top three items for the month?
A hard-hitting theory about who may be plotting against our supermarket tabloids, a look at a Victoria’s Secret audience participation gimmick that went horribly wrong, and a self-help test to determine who is smarter, you or your Thanksgiving turkey.
Blog Guy, if I’m not mistaken, the big annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was held last night. I come to your blog for all my shameless retail lingerie news, so what can you tell us about it?
You know, I got kind of bored with this one, but I can give you a few details.
I gather from seeing our photos that this year’s theme was “Great Acid Trips of the 1960s.”
Blog Guy, I know you’ve done security consulting for some major companies. Are you working with anybody now, or is that confidential?
I’ve recently been working with the Victoria’s Secret folks. Their supermodels are often the targets of stalkers, creeps and pervs. You know, basically the guys I call my readers.
Blog Guy, am I missing something? It’s the middle of February, and you haven’t posted any new Victoria’s Secret photos. Just warmed-over stuff from 2009. What’s up?
That’s what I’m trying to find out, stranger. I have some shots from a recent New York City event, but they are confusing and vaguely disturbing.
Blog Guy, I need your opinion on a pop culture phenomenon.
Have you seen this video on YouTube showing a guy in a financial office looking at racy photos on his computer, not knowing he’s live on television? It’s been seen by thousands of people now, and has a five-star rating…
Yeah, big deal. You can barely see that poor itty-bitty dude back there behind this talking head.