Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, what’s up with your blog? You used to vow that nobody would EVER learn anything here, but suddenly we’re finding out about Ned Kelly, Kalashnikov Rifles… Plus, words like “plethora” and “duvet” are showing up! I hate to complain, but…
I know, I’m sorry. I got myself into a bind. For tax purposes I’ve had to restructure my blog as an educational tool, so that pathetically substandard schools can offer credit to students who read it.
The students can take 20 of my Quick Quizzes as a final exam. I was hoping my other readers wouldn’t notice…
Hah! You think we don’t notice when our heads start to hurt after reading your blog?
Blog Guy, last week you kicked off your Best of 2009 lists with the five Goofiest Photos of the Year, remember?
I surely do remember, because immediately after I published it I thought of two more that deserved to be in that list, as well. One shows two world leaders having fun behind the wheel, and the other shows invading space goddesses getting their first look at Earthlings.
Blog Guy, I have a complaint. Back in the old days you used to run photos of Victoria’s Secret models to make the point that they were getting too much news coverage.
But now, you seem to go out of your way to use as many as you can, for no apparent reason. It seems like you’ve lost your satirical edge, and just joined the enemy. I hope I’m wrong.
Blog Guy, you’ve been dissed by President Barack Obama. Just a few days ago you wrote about your children’s book, “The Steamy Lingerie Models who Saved Christmas,” which was supposed to take its place up there with “The Polar Express.”
Now, I see photos of Obama with some children, and he’s reading them “The Polar Express.” Why not your book? Why can’t those children hear the feel-good story of plucky models in their gyrocopters, saving Santa and the elves from the Nazis?
I got nothing and I’m in big trouble.
My publisher gave me a hefty advance to write a feel-good new Christmas story for children, to take its place up there with “The Polar Express” and such-like.
I’m required to use the phrase “Steamy Lingerie Models” in the title because it seems research shows that dads do 80 percent of the holiday book shopping for their kids.
Quick quiz: The photo above shows… a popular Village People tribute group a Las Vegas City Council meeting an actual Hubble Telescope photograph of heaven a cheap, desperate, pathetic attempt to boost blog traffic by running a vulgar commercial event into the ground
Come back tomorrow for photos of a Las Vegas School Board meeting!
Above: Models wave after presenting creations at the 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in New York, November 19, 2009.
Well, I thought maybe if you used a few more gratuitous photos from the big Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in New York it might artificially pump up your weekend numbers. I know it’s a cheap trick, but times are hard.
We are told in a bunch of captions that this is a $3 million bra, but we are given no clue as to why it costs at least two and a half million dollars more than a regular bra.
Here are some possible reasons for that price tag, but these are only wild guesses…
Well fashion fans, it won’t be long now. It’s the evening of the big Victoria’s Secret annual holiday fashion show. I mean, most of YOU won’t see it today, because it won’t be aired for a couple of weeks, but we’ll have lots of still photos for you and if you flip through them real fast, it’s just like being there.
Here, one of them is seen loading up on the six and a half calories she gets every day. I can’t quite tell what this slop is, but it’s not fried onion rings and doughnuts, I’ll tell you that.
Blog Guy, is it true that New York City has been invaded by Amazonian Queens from another planet?
Yes. We have photos of them. It appears they have never seen Earthlings before.
How tall are they?
About nine feet, wearing 10-inch stilettos.
Gosh, what’s your take on them?
I’m afraid. Very afraid. Sure, judging from the photos they seem easily amused, but they are capable of hiding their deeper thoughts behind vapid facades.