Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Fashion staff, this new push-up product of ours is going to turn the beauty business upside down!
Look at this pathetic Victoria’s Secret model showing off their push-up bra. Who needs that? Bosoms are SO last year. Just ask any guy.
Which is where our product comes in. Get ready for the age of the CLAVICLE! That’s right, collar bones ARE the new breasts!
See the hot model in the photo below? See how sensuous her clavicles look when they’re pushed up by our new miracle garment?
You may have seen that story about a Detroit woman whose bra deflected a bullet shot at her as she witnessed a burglary, saving her from more serious injury.
Every guy of a certain age will immediately think of Wonder Woman. I know, it was really BRACELETS that protected Wonder Woman from bullets, but guys looked at that red and gold bra on Lynda Carter and KNEW it did something miraculous.
It’s March already, so it’s time to head over to the OBB (Off-Blog Betting) parlor and collect your winnings if you correctly guessed my blog’s five most popular posts for February.
Two of them were about Barack Obama and the others were about stupid stuff, so I’m illustrating it with a Victoria’s Secret shot for no apparent reason. You’ll thank me later.
Blog Guy, I don’t know what to get my girlfriend for Christmas. Any suggestions?
Sure. How about buying her a Flagship?
Well, I just saw some photos that said Victoria’s Secret opened a new “Flagship store.” Judging from this picture, I gather a Flagship is a large pair of scissors.
Blog Guy, give us the list of the most popular items in your blog for November. A lot of us continue to wager on this stuff, and all my Christmas money is riding on this!
I enlisted in the Navy!
Awesome. Which one?
There’s more than one?
Sure. There’s the regular U.S. Navy, and then there’s the Victoria’s Secret Navy.They’re both recruiting now.
And the difference? I’m afraid to ask.
Well, you know about the regular navy. Ships, planes, attacks, torpedoes, surface-to-air missiles… But in the OTHER navy, you mostly ride around on yachts filled with Victoria’s Secret lingerie supermodels, taking them to different places in the Caribbean, opening champagne, slathering tanning oil on them, stuff like that.
There you have it. An actual conversation that proves men like red stuff on women. And yet, Reuters reports on a new study that spent $40 million to see if red was more of a turn-on for men than, say, dark brown.
That figure is just a rough guess, you understand, since I have no idea what it really cost.
This is National Underwear Day. I know what you’re saying, “But Bob, I thought that was back in February!”
No, that event, which we covered, was Brazilian National Underwear Day, which is on a different day because they’re in the Southern Hemisphere or something, and also because they have a different word for underwear.
Blog Guy, I enjoy your strange blog very much. Is there any way I can find others who like it as well?
You mean so you can become friends with them?
Well, no, I was more thinking so I can avoid them if I see them on the street. Maybe get some temporary restraining orders.