Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

“Stupid” guy zooms to the top!

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victoria-300.jpgBlog Guy, me and my friends don’t read books at the beach any more. Instead, we use wireless to surf your blog and read it aloud to each other. It’s a great way to attract chicks. 

I wanted to be sure I had your most popular posts from the month of June. What were they?

These were my top five most popular posts for June. I’m using an unrelated photo because, well, do you want to see Victoria’s Secret models, or some guy with needles all over him?

5. And the fastest-growing stupid sport is…

4. Enjoy your lavish 38-cent lunch…move along…

3.  ‘Lock and load’ means it’s safe, right?

2. Toilet’s broken… Next one’s 210 miles south!

1. Yeah? Could a stupid guy do this?

Victoria’s Secret Angels pose during a 2008 appearance in New York. REUERS/Brendan McDermid

Thongs for throngs are flinging prongs?

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As you may have read, a woman is suing Victoria’s Secret because she says she was hurt by her thong panties when a metal clip holding a rhinestone flew off and hit her in the eye.

victoria-2-180.jpgPersonal injury is a very serious thing. Still, if this comes to trial she’s probably going to have to show how it happened in court. I can see lawyers, jurors and the judge all wearing industrial goggles to protect their eyes while the woman pulls on thongs every which way, trying to duplicate the sharp zing of flying rhinestones.

Bra flag: from C to shining C…

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bras-2-140.jpgBlog Guy, recently I was in Montreal, Canada, and I saw women’s brassieres hanging all over the place. You’re a sophisticated guy, so what’s up with that?

I think that must be the new Montreal flag. They didn’t want to use some variation of the maple leaf, because that’s already been done, and they liked the shape and variety of bras that are available. Also, I’m pretty sure the local hockey team is the Montreal Maidenforms.

Victoria’s Secret not in top five?

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secret-2-160.jpgI’m as surprised as anybody, but not a single item about Victoria’s Secret made it into the top five postings for this blog in May!

Oh sure, everybody will have a theory on that, but personally I think it was because we didn’t have a single post that even mentioned Victoria’s Secret.

Second place, the bikini! First place…

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victoria-2-200.jpgBlog Guy, I’ve seen readers mention wagering large sums on the most popular items in your blog, but I didn’t believe it until now. I’m in Las Vegas, and the gaming in a classy casino has stopped while we await your April results.  My money is on that emaciated model.

Ouch, I hope you hedged your bet a bit. Yours was number three. The top item was $60,000? I only parked for an hour!, about a new kind of urban car parking being tested. The post was very, very popular.

News is skimpy on the bikini beat

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victoria-2-160.jpgBlog Guy, I’m very interested in how news is covered. Let’s say you hear about something new. How do you cover it?

Well, let’s take news from Victoria’s Secret. It turns out they’re going to be selling their swimsuits in stores, instead of just online and in catalogs. This is big news, because with summer coming, women are facing a shortage of places to buy beach wear. Some cities are down to their last four or five thousand shops!

Up to his ears in brazen brassieres?

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victoria-4-160.jpgHey, Blog Guy! I don’t know if you remember me. You recently wrote about my search for some beautiful women I saw in New York City: Dude seeks attractive mystery women.

As a result of your blog a lot of people offered to help, and yesterday I found them, in Los Angeles! But now here’s the problem. When I approached them, they waved brassieres at me! Don’t you think that’s a little, you know, brazen? Forward? Assertive? Brassy? Trampy? Tawdry? How do I know they’re not floozies, if you catch my drift?

Dude seeks attractive mystery women

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victoria-2-160.jpgDear Blog Guy: Help! Today in New York I spotted three nice-looking women. I was too shy to introduce myself, but now I wish I had. They seemed extremely natural and unaffected.

They laughed a lot, so I’m guessing they are quite witty. One poked her cheek like it was numb, and another tapped her teeth, so maybe they just came from the dentist, if that helps. They also blew kisses for no apparent reason, so they could be trying to overcome shyness.

So what makes you click, Rick?

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Dear Blog Guy,

The people in my neighborhood have bookmarked our favorite posts from your blog, and we have weekly meetings to discuss them.

We’re having our year-end pot-luck dinner at my house on New Year’s Eve, and I just wondered if you have any information on the most popular posts of the year, so we can view them together on my big screen?

Put your bags in the Spice Rack, girls

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victoria-160.jpgThere’s an odd new trend, naming airplanes after women. I don’t mean aviation pioneers like Amelia Earhart. I mean like the Victoria’s Secret models. The latest example is this Spice Girls thing, where they paint up the fuselage, invite cameramen, and the next thing you know we’re issuing 17 still photos, a slideshow and a video clip. I guess that sounds fair.

The thing is, nobody seems to have time to be clever anymore. Spice One isn’t a very imaginative name. If this trend had begun back when sex goddess Jayne Mansfield was alive, hers could have been called Plane Jayne. And if Mother Teresa had her own airliner, it could have been Nun One. Now that’s fun!